time stopped at date of trauma - suggestions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I found out my spouse had an affair at the start of Covid. I get what you are saying. This is compounded also because of Covid. It’s been incredibly traumatic. Worse, I look back at the time the affair was happening and have erased those years. Years spouse was living a lie. Therapy doesn’t really help. Even the therapist has said it’s something you just have to go through, not get over.

Find a new therapist; yours isn’t very good if this is the advice.

Are you seeing an individual therapist who is a PhD (preferably) or a PsyD who specializes in trauma and abuse? This is not the job for a MSW or LCSW. It’s also not appropriate for your only therapy or counseling to be marriage counseling. You must be working on this (and the rest of your life) in individual therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Therapy? You have to grieve for what was, and work on accepting your new understanding of your spouse and your relationship. I assume he’s asked for forgiveness?

You ask assumed spouse is a “he,” something OP was very careful to avoid specifying.

The majority of marriages are heterosexual. It was not an unreasonable assumption.

So you are also assuming OP is a woman?

I'm assuming nothing but that you're an idiot. OP is very careful not to specify either way and I'm not sure it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy? You have to grieve for what was, and work on accepting your new understanding of your spouse and your relationship. I assume he’s asked for forgiveness?

+1