Alternatives to sleep training
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Anonymous
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The baby might be reverse cycling if his feeds are 10 min during the day and up to 30 at night.
Why is he being held for naps? what happens if he is not? |
Anonymous
He wakes up as soon as I put him down and cries. I’ve tried hot water bottle, putting my shirt in bassinet etc |
Anonymous
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You don't have to sleep train. If you want more info from those who don't sleep train then FB groups are your friend, groups like biologically normal infant sleep. I side carred the crib for a few months and then bedshared after that, nursing on demand. I slept 8 hours a night, worked a FT job, did Crossfit, etc. We could not afford to outsource anything but laundry was done and the house was clean if not cluttered.. My partner is very involved and did shifts with me during regressions. I also had to travel for work and he would bedshare after year 1 with him. We both loved contact napping and would alternate taking shared nap most weekend afternoons. My LO adjusted fine to an in home provider who did some gentle walking and patting. I did use the swing occasionally and then would transfer him to the bed. I also did babywearjng and would either keep him in the sling or transfer to the bed.
He's 3 and has slept in a full size bed since 18 months. I weaned at 2.5 and Dad did bedtime during that transition. He still loves morning cuddles 🥰 I say all this to let you know that you can choose to not sleep train and there are other children who wake to nurse. At 18 weeks I did dreamfeed at 11/12 and then prob had 1 or 2 more wakeups but he slept until 8 most mornings and I just nursed aide lying and fell back asleep. |
Anonymous
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My baby was waking frequently to eat at the same age, even though we had always done the drowsy but awake. We were also struggling with low weight gain, so we ended up renting a baby scale for a week to see how she was nursing. Baby was only snacking during the day, and efficiently eating three times as much during each night time feed.
We started offering an extra bottle at bedtime, but honestly my baby didn’t sleep through the night until she was eating solids during the day. Anything extra I got her to eat during the day cut down a night waking. Just a thought in case your sleep troubles have anything to do with eating patterns. |
Anonymous
| We are mostly formula fed and have always done a full bottle feed at bedtime. We want to make sure his tank his full before going to sleep. Once we started doing this we saw his sleep gradually extend. He’s just shy of 5 months and has been mostly sleeping 7pm-7am (ish) since 13 weeks. We have bad night here and there and lately he likes a 4 or 5 am quick feed but we still get 8 hours straight. His naps during the day are terrible now, but it doesn’t seem to be impacting his nighttime sleep. |
Anonymous
| Pump milk and give him a bottle before bed so you can be sure he fills up. |
Anonymous
This. The whole “sleep training” thing pretty much amounts to ignore the baby until you break the poor thing to your will. It’s just dreadful. A helpless infant left to cry while the people it depends on for everything pretend not to hear so the baby’s life will be more convenient for them. |
Anonymous
That’s normal - give him 10-15 minutes. |
Anonymous
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Waking 5-6 times a night is a lot at that age. Baby is either hungry, or does not know how to fall asleep on his own, or both.
If he's hungry, feeding him more during the day and dream feeds can help. If he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own, the choices are sleep training, waking 5-6 times a night, or possibly bed sharing (hard to really recommend this due to increased risks, but it works for many). Sleep training does not have to mean cry-it-out - but it might. I wouldn't start there, though, if you decide to do any sleep training, which it sounds like you do not want to do. |
Anonymous
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Does he fall asleep independently at bedtime? I would start there and not worry about anything else. He’s probably through the “4 month regression” and just can’t link sleep cycles.
I do not consider that sleep training because it’s not about eliminating feeds. You could try shush and pat or pick up put down. But a short bedtime routine with an appropriate bedtime (I’d keep holding for naps to avoid overtired problem) should work with minimal crying. See Precious Little Sleep blog posts on topic. |
Anonymous
| Expectations are premeditated resentments. I had an easier time with frequent waking because I tried to remind myself each time, this is completely normal. I also would bring the baby into bed, side feed and fall back to sleep. Like an above poster I highly recommend joining a group like Biological Normal Infant Sleep. Your baby is normal. The days are long but the years are fast, this won’t be forever. |
Anonymous
+100 There aren’t many alternatives. Train or dont. |
Anonymous
| OP, if you’re still reading this, don’t beat yourself up if you do want to sleep train. The options are basically, sleep train, cosleep, or be sleep deprived. I sleep trained my kids. They’re fine. |
Anonymous
Can you explain how cosleeping helps? We actually cosleep but it doesn’t stop baby from waking up. It is easier than taking him out of crib though |
Anonymous
Again there are 2 sides to this. People who think sleep is developmental and children will sleep through the night when they are ready and people who think sleep is a learned behavior and must be taught. Kids who are sleep trained do NOT sleep through the night - no human does. Every single person on this planet wakes multiple times a night but they go back to sleep. Sleep training believes that babies must learn to self-soothe when they wake also known as "connecting sleep cycles" so that when they wake, because they do!, they put themselves back to sleep without the assistance of an adult. Sleep training can also be combined with elimination of nighttime feeds, however, many people will state that children should be sleeping 10-12 hours overnight when the definition of STTN is 5-7 hours. For example, if baby goes to sleep at 8 and wakes at 2, and eats a bottle or nurses and then sleeps for 3 hours (530) nurses/bottle and goes back to sleep/wakes for the day- that is all biologically normal and although you may not have slept for 8 hours your child did STTN. Cosleeping is two different thing- bedsharing or roomsharing. Room sharing includes have a crib or even toddler bed in the room. Bedsharing is sharing a bed. There are safe ways to bedshare to mitigate the most cited reason against sharing, which is suffocation. Dr. James McKenna has a lab at University of ND that studies this. I would really suggest visiting his website for information https://cosleeping.nd.edu/. The biggest thing is firm surface, no blankets, no pillows, no medications that alter perception (alcohol, THC, some rx meds) and no SOFA or Recliner sleeping. Cosleeping is not a panacea for parents but it did make our journey easier as I nursed and then fell back asleep- there was no getting up and sitting in the recliner, staying awake, putting him back down and then winding down myself again. Nighttime feedings werent disruptive so I wasnt in a hurry to remove them. I did track my sleep using a FitBit so this isnt me just stating that I didnt feel tired and therefore got rest. I am a high sleep needs person (>7.5hours) so getting appropriate sleep was important to me. Prolactin levels are at their highest overnight so by nursing through the night your supply is more/better regulated and production levels are at their highest during the early morning hours so lots of milk is being produced. Prolactin also increases bonding and attachment. Nighttime breastmilk also has higher levels of melatonin and babies dont produce melatonin for quite a few months so it helps regulate their circadian rhythms. Nighttime breastmilk also has high levels of serotonin and tryptophan. |