Rant: loving & annoying in laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits. All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

It IS rude. And again, you are not THEIR doctor. It is SHAMING adults, which is wrong.

Yeah, it's super rude. It's also ineffective. OP's family would just be offended.

I agree with the others that frequentcy matters in how to approach this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is to tell your kids they need to say, "Let me check with my mom and dad."

That way, your kids AND the relatives get the message that your kids cannot just be offered food.

Sometimes, say yes. Like especially if it's something reasonable, like a bag of Goldfish in the afternoon, well before dinner time. Then, you'll be able to say no without looking like a bad guy to your kids, because sometimes you say yes.

This also gives you room to say, "You may have those gummy bears after dinner, as dessert. You can choose that, or the cupcakes that grandma has."

X 100! Perfect advice!

[Anonymous]

How often do your kids see these grandparents? Unless it’s daily or multiple times per week, why not let them do it? Grandparents are supposed to spoil them a bit. They will remember the special treats forever and it’s not going to kill them. For goodness sake, let them do what grandparents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits. All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

It IS rude. And again, you are not THEIR doctor. It is SHAMING adults, which is wrong.

but these people are feeding crap to OP's children even after OP has asked them not to. I agree that every family has the right to do whatever they want but in this case the IL's are getting into OP's territory by feeding unhealthy food to OP's children. let's say that they were giving them booze, do you think OP would be rude to point out that kids should not drink booze because it is unhealthy?

I would agree with you if OP was going to bother her IL's about their unhealthy eating habits, but she just wants her own kids not be to be given junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits. All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

It IS rude. And again, you are not THEIR doctor. It is SHAMING adults, which is wrong.

I disagree. It's a response, not a lecture- see the bolded. "No thanks, we are concerned with the health affects of those foods". "No thanks- we already have a family history of diabetes on my side so we want to avoid those types of snacks" "No thanks- he had some ho-ho's last night. He will be fine without desert tonight" "No thanks- that's way more calories than they have expended today" etc. Not that hard.

[Anonymous]

I like to eat healthy but dayyymmm
OP
RELAX

[Anonymous]

Uh, they give your kids a gallon bag of snacks. So? Can they not control themselves? Can you not put limits on what they can eat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits.

All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

I’d bet good money that they understand the implications of their food choices - and yet they still make them, because it’s their choice. I’m a very healthy and fit 47 year old raised in hot dogs, bologna, twinkies and all the chocolate I ever wanted. I loves salad, fruits and vegetables too! As an adult I have dessert every day (sometimes more than once a day!). I 100% understand the difference between eating healthy foods and eating crappy ones. I’m still gonna eat the crappy ones because I’m not obese, not diabetic (actually have no health conditions) and I enjoy junk food as much as the next guy. If you lectured me on my food choices I’d roll my eyes and continue eating my Kit Kat.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand wanting to instill good and healthy eating habits in your kids. But honestly, I think what you’re doing it’s going to cause more problems than what the grandparents are uncles and aunts are doing. If most of the time your kids are eating healthy every once in a while on a road trip or a visit they have a treat that they would normally get how is that a dealbreaker,How was that going to ruin everything? And honest to God I can’t imagine taking my kids especially that age on a road trip and not having some kind of snacks maybe it’s not gummy bears so maybe it’s some potato chips and some clementines or some fruit and some granola bars or crackers and peanut butter, but you really think you can put your kids in the car and not need to have snacks? I’m not even going to address the whole in-laws not respecting your choices that’s a whole nother thing especially when their really is a middle ground here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits.

All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

Fix the broken health care system you are a part of and then we’ll be interested in your opinions on things you’re not a part of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Educate your children on healthy nutrition and good food choices. It's very important given their heredity on that side of the family. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with these people at all right now. If you are with them when they offer these things, just refuse for the children. Tell them straight to their face that such caloric and unhealthy eating leads to obesity, diabetes and increase cancer risks - which is all 100% true.

This is a hill to die on.

No. It is not your place as someone who is NOT their doctor to lecture them on food choices.

PP you replied to.

We are a family of doctors and research scientists working in biomedical fields, and we know that America is in a very expensive public health crisis due to poor food choices (and junk food malnutrition due to poverty), enabled by a corrupt food industry in bed with politicians. So YES, it's all hands on deck. We all need to politely and factually educate other people on what's unhealthy, because guess what? You and your children will pay for it, in increased health insurance costs and taxes. It's YOUR money that will be earmarked for outreach programs on diabetes and hypertension, funding for drug development and dialysis clinics, etc.

Don't think this doesn't affect you. It does in a very practical way, even if you feel secure that your children won't imitate others and will continue their healthy habits.

All it takes is one sentence, repeated every time a giant bag of junk is offered. It's not rude, it's saving lives and saving pocket-books.

I'm not surprised you're a doctor. You are the reason obese people receive inferior medical treatment. You refuse to treat our health conditions because you assume they result from "bad choices," and therefore you'll only treat them by telling people to lose weight -- a "treatment" which fails 95% of the time. Do you really think fat people have not been told a million times already that our "choices" are going to kill us? We do not need to be "educated" by concern-trolling in-laws. We need a medical establishment that treats everyone with the same care and respect. We need a society that doesn't shame and stigmatize us every.second.of.the.day. (I assume as a doctor you are aware of the research showing associations between social stigma/shaming of the type you are recommending here and poor health outcomes?) You couch your bigotry in "health concerns," but some of us see it for what it is.