Is this correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Gay mom with a very gender neutral daughter and she has what may be a transgender friend. He is biologically a boy and calls himself a boy but likes girls clothing and and more feminine activities. Having said that, unless your 3yo son has a specific transgender person in his life I think he is too young to understand this concept. I would have left it as he understood it.

This exactly.

[Anonymous]

Team nanny here. It’s both the age appropriate and correct answer. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

Or maybe you don’t. Some dogs, like Granny’s say arf arf. And what does Aunt Tina’s puppy say? What about Uncle Randy’s husky?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like how my ten year old talks to my four year old when he is trying to pick a fight.
“It doesn’t go 1, 2, 3, 4...there are actually infinity numbers between 1 and 2.”


Oh my goodness. What he knows is perfectly reasonable for his age. Let it go!

[Anonymous]

Your nanny is factually correct.

[Anonymous]

Yes, what the nanny said is correct.

It also sounds like it is true that you are uncomfortable with it.

You need to prepare the kid not only for a world in which trans and nonbinary people exist (and in which he may even be one), but in which many varieties of sex development and gender expression mean that things aren't always so cut and dried. Make him a generous and kind friend to people he will encounter in the future.

If gender is so black and white and obvious it is truly remarkable how much legislation seems to be needed to nail it all down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

Or maybe you don’t. Some dogs, like Granny’s say arf arf. And what does Aunt Tina’s puppy say? What about Uncle Randy’s husky?

That’s what you say to your 3 year old?

Sometimes, I go to the teen forum and I wonder how so many great parents have kids who are defiant, smoking pot, etc. Then I read posts like this, and I remember why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, what the nanny said is correct.

It also sounds like it is true that you are uncomfortable with it.

You need to prepare the kid not only for a world in which trans and nonbinary people exist (and in which he may even be one), but in which many varieties of sex development and gender expression mean that things aren't always so cut and dried. Make him a generous and kind friend to people he will encounter in the future.

If gender is so black and white and obvious it is truly remarkable how much legislation seems to be needed to nail it all down.

+1. Nanny handled it perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Unnecessarily confusing for that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

Or maybe you don’t. Some dogs, like Granny’s say arf arf. And what does Aunt Tina’s puppy say? What about Uncle Randy’s husky?

LOL. Nobody's going to say this to a child because there is no political agenda about what sounds dogs make. Nobody is writing legislation about dog sounds or trying to control language about dog sounds. Nobody feels the need to indoctrinate their babies into a particular way of thinking about dog sounds. When the kid says, "Dogs say woof" people can just nod. No need to say, "Actually, dogs can say woof or arf or gua gua now, Timmy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

Why is it bad for a kid (or anyone) to be confused? I think this is a good lesson that things are not always black and white. I doubt thinking about it will keep the 3 year old awake at night or cause any issues for him. It may just be something that he thinks or asks about again later and that’s ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My three yr old is very into who has a penis and who has a vagina. Today I overheard him tell his very “woke” nanny that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Nanny responded, “Well, most boys have penises and most girls have vaginas but not all”.

Is that the right way to handle it?!

I can’t believe we’re really doing this...

I would not be happy with that for a 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very confusing to a 3 year old. They are just starting to master the differences in body parts. I don’t think the nanny is being age appropriate. The answer is vague and leaves the kid confused. I know my four year old would immediately want to know which ones don’t have which body parts and could just imagine him pointing to everyone he sees and asking me loudly whether that one has a vagina or not.

Imagine the boy had said "Women have babies." and then the nanny said "Well, some women have babies and some women do not." Something tells me you would not have concerns about this being too confusing, and it's the exact same concept. The way preschoolers learn to think beyond black and white is through experience of things that are not black and white.

And the way to handle a child asking in public whether certain people have vaginas is to say "That's a private part. We don't talk about private parts in public."

I think this would be too confusing. You don’t talk to three year olds like that. If they say, “dogs say ‘woof, woof’” you don’t correct them or discuss the different types of barks a dog might make.
Something tells me that you don’t know a lot of three year olds.

Why is it bad for a kid (or anyone) to be confused? I think this is a good lesson that things are not always black and white. I doubt thinking about it will keep the 3 year old awake at night or cause any issues for him. It may just be something that he thinks or asks about again later and that’s ok.

Yes this! Gender is confusing. Easiest time to learn that is very young.

[Anonymous]

My kid (4) has a trans parent so that's what we've had to teach. She's not been confused in the least.

To be fair though I sometimes refer to dogs as barking and sometimes refer to them as woofing so maybe it's just a matter of time before she starts smoking pot.