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My mom's friends sending me gifts...is this kind of strange or a normal trend?
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Anonymous
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Both my Mother's and MIL's friends sent us baby gifts for our kids and also send b-day presents. I know that my mom's friends do it because she is a great friend. She offers to babysit their kids or grandchildren without being asked and treats them like they are her own grandchildren. My mom doesn't need much so her friends don't really buy her presents outside of the occasional meal out or box of chocolates but instead give to the babies in the family. My MIL has been sending presents across the country to her friends children for years and they were reciprocating the kindness. I don't think that this is weird at all. It shows how happy your mom's friends are that she has a new grandchild. I would encourage you to write each of them a short little thank you note and not rely on your mom to thank them. One doesn't need to know a person to put down a couple of sentences in appreciation of the item(s) received.
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Anonymous
Both my mother's and MIL's friends sent us baby gifts - I was surprised to get gifts from people we either didn't know or didn't know that well, but it was very sweet to have so many people think of our baby and also nice for the grandmas' friends to do for them. As others have said, I know both of them send baby gifts to others constantly. It did get old constantly being asked "did you get a gift from so and so yet? She told me she was sending something," and it did make for extra thank you notes but...it was a nice thing for all of them to do. What drives me crazy is that both my mother and MIL still grill me on every outfit they see the baby wearing - "is that from my friend so and so?" They are disappointed when I dress her in things we bought for her, or god forbid, hand me downs from friends. 
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Anonymous
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You're extremely rude not to send the thank you notes. Are you that upset by the gifts? Wow.
To answer the question- yes, it's very common. |
Anonymous
People like babies and ENJOY shopping for them! Some might have met you once or twice and LIKED you. My children are teenagers and I get this -- no little sweeties for me to shop for -- before I had kids I used to buy stuff for my nieces. It's fun. |
Anonymous
This absolutely made me LOL!! Exactly the same situation with my MIL. She's a wonderful person, actually. But she's weirdly insecure/competitive/judgmental when it comes to her friends' gift-giving. She was like that with wedding gifts and now with baby gifts. FWIW, I'm always careful to write her friends lavish thank you notes (with a photo), but I draw the line at telling MIL the amount of gift cards when that is the gift. I just say it was "generous" no matter what the dollar value actually was, mostly because I do think it's generous for her friends to get us any sort of gift at all! |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks all. Clearly it is indeed a trend. I get the whole angle of it being a way to congratulate my mom on being a grandmother (x2), which is kind of find funny because, well, let's just say I wouldn't call my mom Grandmother of the Year. My mom is also very material so it kind of bugs me that she's keeping tabs on what her friends sent me. Also,
I also feel kind of bad because pretty much everything that has been sent to me will never be used...of course since it's a girl this time everything is clothes and over-the-top girly. Everything is full-on pink with those frilly headband things (I know some people think they are cute, I happen to think they look ridiculous; just personal preference) and things like a onesie with a crab and a diamond that says, "Miss Crabbie" or something. Again, totally not me, and the woman doesn't know me at all, so of course she would never know that. I just feel like they're not for me...they are for my mom (one of the gifts my forwarded to me even had a card that I opened that was addressed to my mom - I guess the lady thought she'd open it first) so perhaps that's why I just send the thank yous through my mom. I'm sure I probably sound somewhat ungrateful, but it is how I feel, and as you can probably tell - I have a lot of underlying issues with my mom so that doesn't help. |
Anonymous
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How THOUGHTFUL of your mom's friends! Do you often complain about gifts, OP? You might want to reassess that perspective. Wow. Just wow. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Normal. Send really nice thank you notes so that your mom isn't embarrassed. |
Anonymous
| I can't believe you wouldn't send a thank you note! These people bought your child a gift, who cares whether you liked it or not? It's just downright rude not to thank someone for their unsolicited and very generous gift. |
Anonymous
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Are you THAT self centered OP? REALLY? How old are you? |
Anonymous
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We just had our first baby and my MIL's friends are showering the baby with gifts - It has been almost 2 months and pretty much every day we get a package. And they send nice gifts and tons of it (like a box full of stuff: clothes, books, baby toys). I am thrilled that they are doing that since Idon't have friends or family around here and we both are only child. I feel warm and fuzzy when I receive a gift for DD
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Anonymous
| Send thank you notes! It is soooo rude to not acknowledge their kindness properly. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, I am that self centered. I pretty much complain about every gift I've ever gotten. I'm 18. How old are you? The more I think about this, the more I realize it's another way for me to lash out at my mom (especially knowing her friends are "congratulating her" on becoming a grandmother, and heaven forbid she be bragging about it, which is really funny). This is the woman who has thrown about three baby/wedding showers for her friends' kids but then couldn't be bothered to even attend my own wedding or first baby shower. Actually, she did attend my wedding shower, but only after I pretty much had to beg her. And the woman who can't come to visit her grandchild because it would mean having to leave her cats outside for a night and they might get cold and lonely...so it's a no go. So, if you want to call me selfish and rude for not indulging her or her friends who I don't know sending me gifts to congratulate my mom on becoming a grandmother - go for it. |
Anonymous
OP here, again. Sadly, I don't really care about embarrassing my mom. Though, it was a bit embarrassing to me when I was pregnant the first time and everyone said (except people who knew me well), "Oh, your mom must be so excited to be becoming a grandmother!" Silence. And, it was embarrassing that I was nervous to call her and tell her I was pregnant because my whole life I had grown up with her referring to all kids (even relatives) as "shit kids." She especially always hated boys...only girls had a chance of being decent in her eyes, and she always told me thank goodness I was a girl. (My first is a boy.) I can also guarantee that my mom has never written a thank you note in her life. I never learned about that type of etiquette from her - it was from moving away and being around others who did those things that I realized it was appropriate and started doing it. Okay, I could go on now that I'm just getting fired up, but I'll stop. |
Anonymous
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OP - You could have knocked off the stupid thank you notes in less time than it took to post your (too long) initial response and read our comments.
Grow up. Fight your battles with your mom with your mom and act like a mature woman regarding everyone else. And, regarding this new baby: you reap what you sow. |