What degree of separation is required to use a name?

[Anonymous]

I know they're just examples, but Iris is #129 on the Social Security baby name list, and Anderson is #317. (https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/) Is that the range of the names you're considering? If the name is reasonably common, like these, it's fine. And you can always say something nice if and when the other parents meet the baby. "We've always loved the name Iris, and your adorable little Iris helped cement the name for us!"

[Anonymous]

Our daughter has a rare but familiar name, as in one everyone has heard of, but I’ve never met another one since we had DD. A couple in our wider friend circle we’re also pregnant and coincidentally wanted to use the same name. They decided against it and I haven’t seen that other family in 3-4 years. Still strikes me as silly that they didn’t use a name they loved because of us. Maybe they just REALLY wanted a “unique” name?

[Anonymous]

Your Iris situation, I would think, no problem.

Anderson would be a little weird. It really feels like a family name, and this other kid is your child's BEST friend.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone - this is such helpful perspective.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't name them after their own sibling, other than that naming them after a cousin, or niece just makes it a family name. There is no way I would let an older sibling's preschool friends dictate a name choice- your kid likely won't have anything those friends in a few years

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird that Kristen Wiig named her kid Shiloh. Seems like such a unique name forever linked to Brangelina.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how unusual the name is. If it's pretty typical or a family name that has importance to you, then go for it. If not, then it would be weird.

[Anonymous]

You can name your child whatever you like. Don't overthink it - some people are weird about it but it doesn't really matter. I wouldn't care if my best friend gave her child the same as mine, it's a totally separate person, who cares!

[Anonymous]

This kind of overthinking is unheard of in countries where everyone's name is Maria something or Mohammad something.

I wouldn't name my child the same as a family member, to avoid confusion (and not a fan of the Junior thing), but otherwise I think it's fair game. My close friend is called Claire and I considered that for my daughter, it just didn't go with our surname.

[Anonymous]

You're fine. We had BIL and his wife pitch a fit over baby names after they went on and on and on about needing to be "unique".

Then the name they choose was like, top 5 for that year and state. All that drama over a top-5 super common and relatively generic name that wasn't a family name either. They made the same big deal about making sure their upcoming child is also "unique". So they name him the #7 top name.

They're super tedious to deal with and very weird about names. Think, shrieking matches with anyone with the same name because it means they aren't "special". They aren't, actually, and most people recognize names are used more than once.

If it is something more unique, maybe consider a nickname around them. Iris is fine. Anderson is still common enough that I wouldn't blink and he'll probably go by Andy for short. Friend groups tend to shift so I wouldn't not use a name over it.