Have you decided to casually date and/or be non-monogamous for the long term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You won't have any problem finding men who want this. Basically, you want a FWB who you are giving permission to sleep with other women and you can sleep with other men. While some men won't want this, most men in the post-divorce dating world will be thrilled.

Good luck

I agree. I have been dating a couple of years (late 40s) and have not met any men who want to be monogamous.

Similar - dating in late 30s and there are men that still want to be monogamous. If they are decent, I am open to the idea and going slow, but it is a tall order convincing me. I love very hard, and I’m 100% in once I’m in. The difficulty is getting me there. I don’t think other people know themselves that well (with some exception) so it has to be weighed carefully. I didn’t leave a crappy marriage and take our child to grow up healthily just to get wrapped up in someone else’s dysfunction. I didn’t divorce my ex to argue with you about stupid stuff. Let’s keep it cool whip lite and remove any serious expectations from the other.

We can travel, we can dine at new restaurants together, we can cuddle, we can laugh and talk politics, philosophy and watch movies. Hard line drawn when we are talking about how I (or uou) manage my wealth, career, raise my child, invest in my future, live where and how I want to.


I’m not the type to sleep around and I used to joke with my FWB that I always attract marriage minded men, and where are the playboys?! In hindsight, it’s not a horrible thing because nothing is forced, I’m not deceptive and rarely have dated/courted more than one person with overlap. God did me a favor by hiding me from the playboys. Turns out snake bites aren’t that fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for your responses, most of which resonated. My ten year "monogamous" marriage was devoid of an active sex life, which was very different than my previous 16 years since I started having sex.

It's possible that I may want monogamy in the right situation in the future - but yes, right now, after an emotionally exhausting and sexless marriage, I am not looking for a LTR at this time.

I don’t mind the idea of a long term partnership. A long term relationship? They have to bring something to the table I don’t already have. And of course it has to be something I value and want. Most of those things aren’t materiel, but inherently built in a person’s character through time and tenured decision making, introspection, and a broader approach to conflict resolution and life in general. They can’t fake it if they didn’t out the time in to make it. I don’t force compatibility and have a high tolerance for people that are contradictions to my way of being. So, I remove expectations and do the best I can otherwise.

People are attracted to me, but it is hard for me to hold a strong attraction for them. True attraction isn’t skin deep.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you mean polymerous? Most people in their early 20's opt for these types of relationships. My younger sister has told me mostly everyone in her collage is now in open relationships. Extremely normal to be in one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you mean polymerous? Most people in their early 20's opt for these types of relationships. My younger sister has told me mostly everyone in her collage is now in open relationships. Extremely normal to be in one.

No - I don't think polyamorous, as I understand it, which is as at least one - but open - committed relationship.