What’s reasonable to ask of au pair

[Anonymous]

No way- it’s completely inappropriate and a huge invasion of her privacy to expect her to turn over her room and only personal space (with all of her personal possessions) to essentially complete strangers multiple times per year! Either grandma and grandpa get a hotel/air bnb or you and your husband give up your room and bunk with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. What is wrong with you? Your au pair is not your child. Either give your parents YOUR bedroom or put them up in a hotel / air bnb. Just because she is an au pair does not mean you can ask her to give up her room. Would you ask the same of a live in nanny?

[Anonymous]

We plan for grandparents to visit between au pairs.

Once we did negotiate with an au pair to use her room for grandparents in exchange for letting her have an extra paid week off in her home country (the grandparents helped with the kids that week). This was between her first year and extention year, so it felt more appropriate as it was when we usually would have had a gap, but we had all decided that she would extend.

You certainly can't kick her out of her room 4-6 times a year. That doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. What is wrong with you? Your au pair is not your child. Either give your parents YOUR bedroom or put them up in a hotel / air bnb. Just because she is an au pair does not mean you can ask her to give up her room. Would you ask the same of a live in nanny?

Live-in nanny here. I don’t mind being asked, provided that it’s a question that I can decline AND there’s something to sweeten it for me. Just kicking me out of my room for a week? Nope, no way. Especially not with someone else being in there, possibly inviting the kids in there. I hope that grandparents wouldn’t go through my things; I don’t trust curious children to be able to ignore temptation if they’re invited in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are looking into an au pair who would take up our only guest room. When grandparents visit, they need to use that room (no other beds big enough for 2 adults, they can’t sleep on the floor etc). So 4-6 times a year in one week increments, we need the au pair out of the room. Is it reasonable to double up our kids in one room and ask the au pair to sleep in a kid room with private bath? Would it be preferable to offer an Airbnb? That would get pricey but doable. We wouldn’t ask her to move everything out of her room, just clear stuff off of surfaces and keep a drawer available for guests.

Absiluty not. You are required to give her her own room
You give up your room and double up e
With kids. You sound like a real jerk to even suggest such an insulting request!

[Anonymous]

A DCUM rarity--total agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give the grandparents your bedroom.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A DCUM rarity--total agreement.

This is cut and dry because what OP is proposing is against the program rules.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you cant do this. You can give grandparents your room and you sleep somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. What is wrong with you? Your au pair is not your child. Either give your parents YOUR bedroom or put them up in a hotel / air bnb. Just because she is an au pair does not mean you can ask her to give up her room. Would you ask the same of a live in nanny?

Live-in nanny here. I don’t mind being asked, provided that it’s a question that I can decline AND there’s something to sweeten it for me. Just kicking me out of my room for a week? Nope, no way. Especially not with someone else being in there, possibly inviting the kids in there. I hope that grandparents wouldn’t go through my things; I don’t trust curious children to be able to ignore temptation if they’re invited in.

Live in nanny is slightly different because they are typically paid more than an au pair and are less vulnerable to being exploited

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. What is wrong with you? Your au pair is not your child. Either give your parents YOUR bedroom or put them up in a hotel / air bnb. Just because she is an au pair does not mean you can ask her to give up her room. Would you ask the same of a live in nanny?

Live-in nanny here. I don’t mind being asked, provided that it’s a question that I can decline AND there’s something to sweeten it for me. Just kicking me out of my room for a week? Nope, no way. Especially not with someone else being in there, possibly inviting the kids in there. I hope that grandparents wouldn’t go through my things; I don’t trust curious children to be able to ignore temptation if they’re invited in.

Live in nanny is slightly different because they are typically paid more than an au pair and are less vulnerable to being exploited

I understand that. My point was that you can ask a live-in nanny, but you can’t ask an AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give the grandparents your bedroom.

+1

Put your air mattress in the kid's bedroom.