Montessori is more strict?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The deal breaker for me is that pretend play is NOT allowed in Montessori. If your child picks up a string of beads and pretends they are a snake, they will be told that isn't allowed. Beads are for a specific purpose, perhaps counting or string but never for being snakes because that is not there intended purpose.

Blocks are just blocks to build and never a phone or walkie talkie or powerful crystal with powers.

I agree this is a problem. There are blocks that are supposed to be lined up in height order -- my kid would often want to call them the daddy, mommy, big sister, little sister, baby, and then have them talk to each other. Teacher disapproved -- misusing the materials.

My oldest went to Montessori and seemed to like it. Then went to public preschool and came home every day saying Kindergarten was SO MUCH FUN and why wasn't preschool fun like Kindergarten. Then I felt bad. My middle child started at Montessori but ended up transferring because he was really klutzy and always knocking stuff over, which was really frustrating for him and the other students because they would get those darn blocks lined up (or whatever work it was), and he'd bump them all over. He really liked the recess and the circle time but couldn't deal with the "materials" so just avoided the "work" entirely (note putting those in quotes because they are both terms of art for Montessori). For my third, we found a school that used some elements of Montessori, including the focus on fostering child independence, but with more play and creativity baked in, and just more flexibility in general. We were really happy with that program, and it really helped my child develop social skills and confidence that I don't think she would have otherwise had.

I always really liked about 50% of Montessori, and then thought about 50% was really dumb. Ask them their philosophy about cursive writing....the ones that still insist they won't promote a child unless they can write cursive are still stuck in the 19th century, I think. Also check on how rigid they are about the 3 hour work cycle -- at my oldest's school, that meant they did not get a morning recess, which she hated. (They had it when they started, and then someone griped that it interfered with the work cycle so they cancelled morning recess.) My middle kid's school gave them recess, though.

[Anonymous]

Long time preschool director here. I have found that Montessori schools value independent “work”. Play based works with children on getting along together and social skills. Over the years, I have had a number of parents whose children had trouble with others in the group move them to Montessori schools where they did not have to work on those skills. In my opinion, this is not helpful to young children. Our society requires people to get along with each other. This is best learned starting at a young age. Being taught to only do things in a certain way, with no creativity, is not the best way to develop critical thinkers who can function in a group. I highly recommend a play based preschool for children.

[Anonymous]

I sent my kids to NAEYC accredited preschools. Playbased, some academic prep, plenty of imaginative play and my kids have been happy. I don’t care about the Montessori brand name, I notice it’s a certain demographic that is really into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sent my kids to NAEYC accredited preschools. Playbased, some academic prep, plenty of imaginative play and my kids have been happy. I don’t care about the Montessori brand name, I notice it’s a certain demographic that is really into it.

Which is?

[Anonymous]

Montessori parent here, I think the kids feel a sense of accomplishment once they have mastered activities, and look forward to moving to more advanced “work” as they progress over the months and years. My kids are in an AMS school which has a more relaxed structure compared to AMI. For example, our kids’ teacher will let the kids experiment with blocks and put them in different patterns, not just have one way of doing the work each time. Kids have plenty of free play at recess and after school.

[Anonymous]

Ah, I’m cringing at some of the replies here. When Montessori says “work”, it’s just a type of play. In fact, one of Maria Montessori’s best known quotes is “play is the work of the child.” It’s just maybe not the type of toys you are used to. And pretend play is absolutely allowed in most contexts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, I’m cringing at some of the replies here. When Montessori says “work”, it’s just a type of play. In fact, one of Maria Montessori’s best known quotes is “play is the work of the child.” It’s just maybe not the type of toys you are used to. And pretend play is absolutely allowed in most contexts.

No pretend play us not allowed. It is discouraged or outright forbidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, I’m cringing at some of the replies here. When Montessori says “work”, it’s just a type of play. In fact, one of Maria Montessori’s best known quotes is “play is the work of the child.” It’s just maybe not the type of toys you are used to. And pretend play is absolutely allowed in most contexts.

No pretend play us not allowed. It is discouraged or outright forbidden.

I haven’t found that to be the case.

I have two very different kids who both thrive in Montessori. One really loves structure, order, etc. the other one is a wild child but loves preschool, even with its rules and structure.

[Anonymous]

Just because a child “loves” something, doesn’t mean it is good for her. “Work”, with only one acceptable way of doing things, is not developmentally appropriate for young children. As adults, parents have the responsibility to choose the best type of schooling for their child. By the way, Montessori was in to teaching kids skills that they needed at the time, like washing dishes and sweeping. Children now need to be taught social and emotional skills at the preschool age. Academics come after those skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because a child “loves” something, doesn’t mean it is good for her. “Work”, with only one acceptable way of doing things, is not developmentally appropriate for young children. As adults, parents have the responsibility to choose the best type of schooling for their child. By the way, Montessori was in to teaching kids skills that they needed at the time, like washing dishes and sweeping. Children now need to be taught social and emotional skills at the preschool age. Academics come after those skills.

This is weird to me. 1/3 of my kids went Montessori (other two play based) and I didn’t notice a difference in social emotional skills. In the mixed age classroom, the kids do work together a fair amount, and they have recess, lunch, another recess, etc. Montessori isn’t jail!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because a child “loves” something, doesn’t mean it is good for her. “Work”, with only one acceptable way of doing things, is not developmentally appropriate for young children. As adults, parents have the responsibility to choose the best type of schooling for their child. By the way, Montessori was in to teaching kids skills that they needed at the time, like washing dishes and sweeping. Children now need to be taught social and emotional skills at the preschool age. Academics come after those skills.

This is weird to me. 1/3 of my kids went Montessori (other two play based) and I didn’t notice a difference in social emotional skills. In the mixed age classroom, the kids do work together a fair amount, and they have recess, lunch, another recess, etc. Montessori isn’t jail!!

When you tell a little kid they can’t use a block for anything but a prescribed purpose, it sort of is. It’s so inappropriate for their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Montessori parent here, I think the kids feel a sense of accomplishment once they have mastered activities, and look forward to moving to more advanced “work” as they progress over the months and years. My kids are in an AMS school which has a more relaxed structure compared to AMI. For example, our kids’ teacher will let the kids experiment with blocks and put them in different patterns, not just have one way of doing the work each time. Kids have plenty of free play at recess and after school.

Oh wow! Letting them put the blocks in different patterns! What a revelation!

But let me guess — if a 4 year old holds up a block and says “this is my alien control pad” the teacher will tell the kids that’s not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because a child “loves” something, doesn’t mean it is good for her. “Work”, with only one acceptable way of doing things, is not developmentally appropriate for young children. As adults, parents have the responsibility to choose the best type of schooling for their child. By the way, Montessori was in to teaching kids skills that they needed at the time, like washing dishes and sweeping. Children now need to be taught social and emotional skills at the preschool age. Academics come after those skills.

This is weird to me. 1/3 of my kids went Montessori (other two play based) and I didn’t notice a difference in social emotional skills. In the mixed age classroom, the kids do work together a fair amount, and they have recess, lunch, another recess, etc. Montessori isn’t jail!!

When you tell a little kid they can’t use a block for anything but a prescribed purpose, it sort of is. It’s so inappropriate for their age.

I really encourage you to do some research if you’re at all interested in Montessori. I learned so much from YouTube - one of my favorite Montessori YouTube channels is called Hapa Family. I really recommend you check it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because a child “loves” something, doesn’t mean it is good for her. “Work”, with only one acceptable way of doing things, is not developmentally appropriate for young children. As adults, parents have the responsibility to choose the best type of schooling for their child. By the way, Montessori was in to teaching kids skills that they needed at the time, like washing dishes and sweeping. Children now need to be taught social and emotional skills at the preschool age. Academics come after those skills.

This is weird to me. 1/3 of my kids went Montessori (other two play based) and I didn’t notice a difference in social emotional skills. In the mixed age classroom, the kids do work together a fair amount, and they have recess, lunch, another recess, etc. Montessori isn’t jail!!

When you tell a little kid they can’t use a block for anything but a prescribed purpose, it sort of is. It’s so inappropriate for their age.

I really encourage you to do some research if you’re at all interested in Montessori. I learned so much from YouTube - one of my favorite Montessori YouTube channels is called Hapa Family. I really recommend you check it out.

I’m really not interested. I toured a Montessori school when we were looking for preschools for DD. It was absolutely not for us, in large part because of the aversion to pretend play.

[Anonymous]

I think people are butting heads because there’s a distinction between the montessori purists and the Montessori inspired. Some of them are really cultish and you need to figure out how much flex they have. I suggested uphread questions about cursive and the work cycle as good proxies, but the play pretend question is also a good one.
I agree with PP that in a good Montessori classroom, there is a lot of collaboration, often between older/younger kids.