Part Time Nanny...are we being unreasonable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a part time nanny who our daughter really likes, but she is not that great of a worker. She leaves the lunch on the high chair until well after lunch and often doesn't bring the stroller safely back inside. She also is 50-50 on whether or not she actually picks up the play area.

When we hired her we specified the only housework we needed completed was cleaning up after lunch and picking up the play area. My husband and I are both working from home so we also have been incredibly flexible with her if she has an appointment or needs to flex time and we provide lunch daily which I think most people do, but I am not sure.

We are paying her above board with a payroll system. She is a college student and living at home in D.C. while she completes school remotely. We pay her for hours worked, so there is not a PTO or sick leave policy.

Lately she has become increasingly unreliable, within the past month or so. We cannot decide if we need to let her go, or if we should stick with what we have. She frequently will text the night before or early morning letting us know she can't make it for one reason or another. We realize we have a rare set up with a part time nanny that we only have to pay for hours worked...and not provide leave, but I cannot help but wonder if there are more reliable college students out there who would love to work 5-6 hours a day making well over minimum wage.

I worked as a PT nanny in college making well over minimum wage. Both my siblings are currently in college. If you're assuming that the typical college student is making minimum wage for their PT job, you're assuming very wrong. My brother makes $30+ an hour at a physical job and my sister makes $20 as a receptionist. Both live in a much lower COL place and live with our parents.

Anyway, I like you assumed that I would easily find a PT nanny who was a student. That is not what happened. I found that not many college kids these days wanted the schedule I needed and also that not many college kids responded to my ads at all. Of course I get it that you need reliability, but I wouldn't assume you can just go to a deep, full well of college kids. A surprising number of college kids don't work PT at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are paying her $21 an hour.

And not paying her any benefits or leave. In effect you're halving the compensation that a regular nanny would get when you should have been topping it off.

Its not for you to judge if she 'needs' the money or not. You need the care and you pay for it.

[Anonymous]

The going rate for an actual professional nanny in this area is $20-$25/hr. So if she's not cleaning up your daughter's plates and calling out - there's your reason why.

I don't think this is true. We have a college kid as a FT nanny and pay $20/hour plus time-and-a-half overtime. It took us months to get her to a basic level of cleaning up after the kids and even now it's spotty. She's used to her parents cleaning up after her and doesn't even realize that she's left a mess.

For example, as a favor we let her use our house for a weekend so she could have space from her parents while we were gone. We came home to fast food wrappers all over the counter. It didn't even occur to her to put them in the trash. It's the same thing after she feeds the kids lunch.
It never occurs to her to clean up. She also stays with us in a guest room several nights a week and on several occasions we've had to wake her up for work at 8 AM. She says she forgot to set an alarm. It's totally a maturity thing. We've kept working with her on these things and it has gotten better, but if there wasn't a pandemic-induced childcare shortage we'd probably have moved on to someone else last fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The going rate for an actual professional nanny in this area is $20-$25/hr. So if she's not cleaning up your daughter's plates and calling out - there's your reason why.

I don't think this is true. We have a college kid as a FT nanny and pay $20/hour plus time-and-a-half overtime. It took us months to get her to a basic level of cleaning up after the kids and even now it's spotty. She's used to her parents cleaning up after her and doesn't even realize that she's left a mess.

For example, as a favor we let her use our house for a weekend so she could have space from her parents while we were gone. We came home to fast food wrappers all over the counter. It didn't even occur to her to put them in the trash. It's the same thing after she feeds the kids lunch.
It never occurs to her to clean up. She also stays with us in a guest room several nights a week and on several occasions we've had to wake her up for work at 8 AM. She says she forgot to set an alarm. It's totally a maturity thing. We've kept working with her on these things and it has gotten better, but if there wasn't a pandemic-induced childcare shortage we'd probably have moved on to someone else last fall.

You call it maturity. I call it inexperience. An experienced, professional nanny would know not to agree to stay at your house so you can 'wake her up' for work at 8AM without overnight rates.

Every hour in your house is a paid hour. The fact that you're phrasing it is a favor to her is all I need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are paying her $21 an hour.

And not paying her any benefits or leave. In effect you're halving the compensation that a regular nanny would get when you should have been topping it off.

Its not for you to judge if she 'needs' the money or not. You need the care and you pay for it.

Also she is not a full time employee. We were completely up front upon hiring her that this was not a full time
Job with healthcare a 401k etc. She was 100 percent okay with that since she’s a student. That being said even as part time employee you are still expected to do a good job and show up on time.

[Anonymous]

She's signalling she's bored or wants to move on. Have a frank conversation with her. But if she doesn't change, find someone new.

[Anonymous]

You will have a very hard time finding a part time nanny during a pandemic. Even in normal times it’s hard to find part timers. Many leave for a full time gig unless they are in college. College kids require a lot of flexibility because their schedule changes. I would place the ad now and see what you get in responses.

Regarding the chores just explain to her you need to start teaching your daughter to clean up stuff and she needs to ‘help’ by doing it with her. This means carrying her utensils to the sink, and wiping up after every meal. In the playroom every toy is put away in its place by your daughter (with nanny’s help) before the next toy comes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and yes we only needed about 25 hours a week and honestly didn’t want to have a share due to space. We are paying her a competitive rate for one toddler. We definitely talked to professional nannies but they all understandably needed full time.
We also thought it would only need her last fall, but sadly no daycare spots have opened for us and she is available. It’s only frustrating because as far as a part time job goes we ask her to take our daughter out when the weather is nice, feed her lunch and provide general care and pick up toys.
Agree though that it may be time to just have a conversation.

I also think she doesn’t really need the job, and the money she makes is just for fun since it’s not like she has rent/mortgage or healthcare at her age.

Definitely talk to her. I find younger people will try to 'get away' with stuff until you say something. Coming in later as weeks go on, the difference is that older adults can sense an issue and course correct. Those in their 20s - not so much. Or it's a weird game of chicken. She knows she's got it good, she's just pushing boundaries. Set clearer boundaries. If she doesn't get in line, then look into other alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The going rate for an actual professional nanny in this area is $20-$25/hr. So if she's not cleaning up your daughter's plates and calling out - there's your reason why.

I don't think this is true. We have a college kid as a FT nanny and pay $20/hour plus time-and-a-half overtime. It took us months to get her to a basic level of cleaning up after the kids and even now it's spotty. She's used to her parents cleaning up after her and doesn't even realize that she's left a mess.

For example, as a favor we let her use our house for a weekend so she could have space from her parents while we were gone. We came home to fast food wrappers all over the counter. It didn't even occur to her to put them in the trash. It's the same thing after she feeds the kids lunch.
It never occurs to her to clean up. She also stays with us in a guest room several nights a week and on several occasions we've had to wake her up for work at 8 AM. She says she forgot to set an alarm. It's totally a maturity thing. We've kept working with her on these things and it has gotten better, but if there wasn't a pandemic-induced childcare shortage we'd probably have moved on to someone else last fall.

You call it maturity. I call it inexperience. An experienced, professional nanny would know not to agree to stay at your house so you can 'wake her up' for work at 8AM without overnight rates.

Every hour in your house is a paid hour. The fact that you're phrasing it is a favor to her is all I need to know.

No, every hour in our house isn't a paid hour. That's not how it works with live in help. She's working only when she's working. When she's not working, she is off duty. We provide a room because the commute to her parent's house is a bit long and she wants to save money for school instead of getting an apartment. We don't need her to stay here, but she wanted to so we agreed she could use a bedroom. It certainly wasn't so we could wake her up for work.

You clearly are inexperienced with live in help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The going rate for an actual professional nanny in this area is $20-$25/hr. So if she's not cleaning up your daughter's plates and calling out - there's your reason why.

I don't think this is true. We have a college kid as a FT nanny and pay $20/hour plus time-and-a-half overtime. It took us months to get her to a basic level of cleaning up after the kids and even now it's spotty. She's used to her parents cleaning up after her and doesn't even realize that she's left a mess.

For example, as a favor we let her use our house for a weekend so she could have space from her parents while we were gone. We came home to fast food wrappers all over the counter. It didn't even occur to her to put them in the trash. It's the same thing after she feeds the kids lunch.
It never occurs to her to clean up. She also stays with us in a guest room several nights a week and on several occasions we've had to wake her up for work at 8 AM. She says she forgot to set an alarm. It's totally a maturity thing. We've kept working with her on these things and it has gotten better, but if there wasn't a pandemic-induced childcare shortage we'd probably have moved on to someone else last fall.

You call it maturity. I call it inexperience. An experienced, professional nanny would know not to agree to stay at your house so you can 'wake her up' for work at 8AM without overnight rates.

Every hour in your house is a paid hour. The fact that you're phrasing it is a favor to her is all I need to know.

No, every hour in our house isn't a paid hour. That's not how it works with live in help. She's working only when she's working. When she's not working, she is off duty. We provide a room because the commute to her parent's house is a bit long and she wants to save money for school instead of getting an apartment. We don't need her to stay here, but she wanted to so we agreed she could use a bedroom. It certainly wasn't so we could wake her up for work.

You clearly are inexperienced with live in help.

The nanny mentioned isn't 'live-in'. A live-in nanny gets full benefits, housing which often includes their own studio kitchenette and bathroom, and often a car for personal use plus excellent wages. The PP clearly stated the nanny was only over at the house on some occasions overnight. Which puts her in the territory of an overnight stay that you pay for.

Stop being cheap.

[Anonymous]

Keep her because she is trustworthy and what you need right now.

[Anonymous]

The overnights sound more like the nanny is crashing at OPs house. I would not assume that the nanny is on duty overnight with the parent home. Why should the nanny be paid to sleep at OPs house? It sounds like she could go home to her bed at her parents house but chooses not to on occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are paying her $21 an hour.

And not paying her any benefits or leave. In effect you're halving the compensation that a regular nanny would get when you should have been topping it off.

Its not for you to judge if she 'needs' the money or not. You need the care and you pay for it.

Please. Why would OP give the babysitter benefits. Lol!!!!!!!

Op, I’d focus on her being unreliable over the messiness. Tell her what you need and expect, and yes, you both may decide to part ways. If she’s flaky, that’s a big deal. But maybe she’s just a self absorbed college student. Either way, approach her. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Is she good with your daughter? Does she take good care of her, play with her, pay attention to her? If so, you might firmly tell her the flakiness in terms of calling out won’t fly, but you should stop worrying about a plate being left out too long or toys on the floor. You don’t actually need her to do those things, you need her to take care of your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Fire her.

Money can’t fix flakiness or poor work ethic. It’s not how much you offered. It’s her flaw.