DD Expensive Taste-Horseback Riding, Figure Skating & Ski

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

You don’t need your own horse to compete. My friend’s daughters compete and you can rent horses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter who figure skates. If your daughter wants to skate recreationally, it is not terribly expensive - you can do group lessons and buy inexpensive used skates. If she wants to skate competitively, it is hideously expensive. My daughter's skates cost close to $1000 for boots and blades. Ice time is $400+ per month, plus private lessons at $50 per half hour.

I have two different kids who ride and skate. Horseback is BY FAR more expensive, especially if you do shows. I was complaining about the costs of skating until my younger started riding!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT DO HORSE SHOWS!!

That is where the costs skyrocket. Just tell her that she won't be competing.

---signed, mother who learned that the hard way

This. Plus they are endlessly long days and your rider is out competing for a very small fraction of the day. Like those awful track meets times ten.

[Anonymous]

It's OK to say no to something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

You don’t need your own horse to compete. My friend’s daughters compete and you can rent horses.

You can lease horses. That's not cheap, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's OK to say no to something.

Absolutely this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

Nip in the idea that she needs to be on a team. If she likes riding she can just ... take riding lessons. You don't have to compete at everything.

+1 or, she could join a 4-H club for free (Or Pony Club). I showed and competed in 4-H, western events, which eventually led to a college athletic scholarship in NCAA rodeo events. Although, unlike your daughter, I was raised and grew up on a farm on the plains and we owned horses to work cattle. 4-H was a natural outgrowth from that. I still own horses, and I allow friends' kids (certain ones, at least) to come and work with them - we start with ground work and safety, horse husbandry and care and then learn to ride in exchange for help around the farm. I know a lot of barns in this area allow "barn rats" to work in exchange for horse time if they don't own or lease their own horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's OK to say no to something.

Absolutely this.

+100 How on earth would you even find time to participate in more than one of these concurrently?

[Anonymous]

Do not get your own horse or get into competing. Vet bills and entry fees and travel will be a huge money suck.

Just let her take weekly lessons on the horses there. If she wants to lease, let her much stalls and do other barn work to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not get your own horse or get into competing. Vet bills and entry fees and travel will be a huge money suck.

Just let her take weekly lessons on the horses there. If she wants to lease, let her much stalls and do other barn work to pay for it.

*muck* stalls, I meant.

Also: making her do barn work is a good way to weed out the dilettante rider from the Horse Girl. Horse Girls will do whatever it takes to be around horses. Dilettantes just like the trappings of riding and like to do it when it’s convenient. Make it less convenient for her and you’ll see if she really NEEDS to ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter who figure skates. If your daughter wants to skate recreationally, it is not terribly expensive - you can do group lessons and buy inexpensive used skates. If she wants to skate competitively, it is hideously expensive. My daughter's skates cost close to $1000 for boots and blades. Ice time is $400+ per month, plus private lessons at $50 per half hour.

I have two different kids who ride and skate. Horseback is BY FAR more expensive, especially if you do shows. I was complaining about the costs of skating until my younger started riding!

Nice humblebrag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter who figure skates. If your daughter wants to skate recreationally, it is not terribly expensive - you can do group lessons and buy inexpensive used skates. If she wants to skate competitively, it is hideously expensive. My daughter's skates cost close to $1000 for boots and blades. Ice time is $400+ per month, plus private lessons at $50 per half hour.

I have two different kids who ride and skate. Horseback is BY FAR more expensive, especially if you do shows. I was complaining about the costs of skating until my younger started riding!

Nice humblebrag.

Um Ok. The Ops one kid does both plus skiing. And this bothers you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DD’s riding teacher says she doesn’t need to have her own horse to progress. I’m skeptical as most girls there have their own horse. Everyone on the team certainly does. Is this the first thing I should nip in the bud?

if she's looking to find her group, being the odd one out isn't going to help. Riding is a rich person's sport, it's that simple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not get your own horse or get into competing. Vet bills and entry fees and travel will be a huge money suck.

Just let her take weekly lessons on the horses there. If she wants to lease, let her much stalls and do other barn work to pay for it.

*muck* stalls, I meant.

Also: making her do barn work is a good way to weed out the dilettante rider from the Horse Girl. Horse Girls will do whatever it takes to be around horses. Dilettantes just like the trappings of riding and like to do it when it’s convenient. Make it less convenient for her and you’ll see if she really NEEDS to ride.

8:27 PP and I agree wholeheartedly with this. I've had more than a few girls come out for a day with the horses thinking they are going to ride the entire day, which is NOT what I do or how I start kids. The first day is spent learning to safely approach, halter, and lead a horse, pick their feet out, assess health and start learning how to properly lunge a horse using Natural Horsemanship techniques (harder than it looks). We then clean tack, fill feed, stack hay, scoop poop and other things that need done in order to keep a farm running and animals (all animals, not just the horses) healthy. I've had one girl stick it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If is willing to muck stalls and help around the stable she might be able to reduce costs, but generally no.

Not really. I mean sure, you can groom and braid and whatever but that won't get you a lot of riding time and certainly not showing. Unless your kid is super talented, she's not going to get a lot of catch rides. And if she were super talented you would already know.

Having "been there" on the child side, I would tell her your budget for horses, let her manage it, and be completely transparent about it. She should know exactly how much she can spend on horses and that not one more cent will be arriving. Go over it every month. Make sure she knows this is something she can happily pursue as an adult and that if she wants to, she should plan her career accordingly.

The other good thing about this situation is that horse showing is really fun but also pretty stupid, especially the junior stuff. The equitation finals are won every year by kids from the same 3-4 very expensive barns, on the same horses, and the riders who are really going someplace are only doing it as a lark because they're already in the grand prix ring and doing their summers in Europe. The good things about the sport all come from horsemanship, which is full of wonderful lessons and is MUCH less expensive.

The main job of your kid at a horse show should be to keep everything clean and organized and to have her horse be as healthy and happy as possible. She can do that with riding, or as a groom. If she can do that, she'll have real skills to carry forward. If she really loves it, she'll keep doing that even if she's disappointed that she can't be showing more or jumping higher or have her own horse. If she doesn't, she can let it drop away.