Do you speak up if your kid is inadvertently left out of recognition for something?

[Anonymous]

Since it's your kid that was the one bothered and not just you (and I don't mean that in a pejorative way, just that this really is about your kid's feelings), I would speak up. It sounds silly, but if this is something that your kid worked hard for, then this lack of recognition is the sort of thing that can start to tip the balance against trying as hard in the late tween/early teen years when this sort of thing may have to contend with being seen as uncool.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the situation for sure.

The key things I think about- is this a situation where my kid can learn to speak up for themselves, to self-advocate? Does the kid even care? Did the kid work really hard to achieve something and is proud?

I grew up not having a parent advocate for me, and it is hard for me to speak up for myself sometimes even now. So I want to teach my kids that skill. But, not every situation calls for it.

[Anonymous]

I’d write and give a head’s up. If I were the one who left it off, I’d want to know and have a chance to fix it. Just give a light, friendly “It’s crazy times and I know stuff falls off my radar. Just wanted to check in with you about...”

[Anonymous]

Yes and you should. I don't see that as a helicopter mom.

I do it for my employees too. If I see them left off, I make sure to correct it. 99% of the time, the person publishing the article didn't know about it or it was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

I think entirely depends on the situation but with what you're describing I would speak up.

If they are reading the honor roll of 20 kids and my kid was left off the announcement, no, although I'd tell them I knew and was proud of them etc.

Did my kid win a local spelling bee and the website just never updated with the current year's winners? I would take a cue from my kid.

Did my kid submit a science fair project and win the top prize and get left off the plaque that they hung on the wall that year? I'd say something.

I think its balancing the level of effort kid put in, number of people who won/are being recognized/emotional impact on the kid.

[Anonymous]

In this case I would, OP. Usually it depends. In a general sense, no, I don’t speak out on minor things....but if it’s *important* then that’s entirely different. And btw, most parents DO speak out so keep that in mind. Be an advocate for your child....but that doesn’t mean being one of those overly aggressive pushy obnoxious parents.

[Anonymous]

Please speak up, but obviously don't be a jerk about it! You will be teaching your kid that a) it's ok to speak up for yourself, and b) that everyone makes mistakes and it's important to find a kind, diplomatic way to let people correct them.

It goes without saying that this is not to say your should demand recognition all the time and for minor things. But if the kid worked hard and achieved a set goal, by all means, recognition is in order!

[Anonymous]

I would say something if the kid actually cares (through maybe age 9 or 10) or coach an older child through raising it herself. If it is truly inconsequential I would let it go.

I am imagining this post is about something like a swim event record where the name of the fasted kid is up on the wall by the pool — that’s a huge deal when you’re little and reflects the work put in towards the faster time and worth advocating for.