what's the best solution to this?

[Anonymous]

Get a live-in and pay them for mornings and evenings but use them as needed.

[Anonymous]

We have similar jobs, and when my 3 were smaller we had an au pair plus a part time nanny who worked predictable days to give a pair a regular amount of time off. Now that they're older and all in school we've scaled back to just an au pair.
90% of the time I know my schedule for the week by sunday, so I can set the au pair's schedule, but we emphasize the need for flexibility and only choose au pairs who agree with our needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have similar jobs, and when my 3 were smaller we had an au pair plus a part time nanny who worked predictable days to give a pair a regular amount of time off. Now that they're older and all in school we've scaled back to just an au pair.
90% of the time I know my schedule for the week by sunday, so I can set the au pair's schedule, but we emphasize the need for flexibility and only choose au pairs who agree with our needs.

Did this work well for you? Was it kind of chaotic (as having 3 young kids is no matter what!) but really made day to day work pretty well most of the time, or just total chaos and painful? What hours did you generally have for the au pair when you also had the nanny? If you and the au pair ended up together most of the time, were the kids ok with that dynamic or did each just want you? I love idea of giving each kid some focused 1:1 time during the evening which I cant do with 3 on my own, but i could also see it being a tough dynamic of who is "getting" mom and who is with the au pair (they act this way with my husband and me when its both of us but he's not great at being the fun playmate)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have similar jobs, and when my 3 were smaller we had an au pair plus a part time nanny who worked predictable days to give a pair a regular amount of time off. Now that they're older and all in school we've scaled back to just an au pair.
90% of the time I know my schedule for the week by sunday, so I can set the au pair's schedule, but we emphasize the need for flexibility and only choose au pairs who agree with our needs.

Did this work well for you? Was it kind of chaotic (as having 3 young kids is no matter what!) but really made day to day work pretty well most of the time, or just total chaos and painful? What hours did you generally have for the au pair when you also had the nanny? If you and the au pair ended up together most of the time, were the kids ok with that dynamic or did each just want you? I love idea of giving each kid some focused 1:1 time during the evening which I cant do with 3 on my own, but i could also see it being a tough dynamic of who is "getting" mom and who is with the au pair (they act this way with my husband and me when its both of us but he's not great at being the fun playmate)

I typically had our au pair work 7:30-10 so she could help with the morning crunch and then be home with the youngest while I would take older one or two to school. If my husband had a free morning he would take the kid(s) to school or we would split up to have one on one time. I tried to "make myself scarce" if I was home and needed to do things while au pair was "on" with kids. If I didn't need to work I'd often give her extra time off. I don't know how old your kids are? We started with an au pair when mine were just 1, 3 and 6. They're now 6, 8 and 11 and have loved having au pairs the whole time. I had the nanny usually 1-2 mornings with the baby, but not coming until @8:30-9 so either I'd do the morning solo or have au pair work for an hour or so. My 3 yo was in 5-day/week morning preschool that year, and all day wednesdays so the au pair always had wednesday off. I tried to be there to pick up one or both of the older kids from school at least once a week, depending on the after school schedule. It worked quite well, my 6yo knew I always took her to swimming, for example, and I took my 3yo to gymnastics. That way the "mommy afternoon", and then au pair would be occupied with the other kids. I tried not to schedule an after school activity on wednesdays so the nanny didn't have to juggle all 3 out at once, and both a pair and I could count on Wednesday afternoons as free time. Of course there were times when I couldn't do pickup and had to have au pair or nanny juggle them all coming home from school, etc., but it wasn't terrible. And I have to say having someone scheduled to help with dinner & bath/bedtime every night was a lifesaver.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t juggle your three children solo, don’t get an AP and ever ask her to do it. They have less experience, and that’s setting her up for failure.

I’d suggest just going for a live-in nanny. Look for flexible availability and be willing to pay for guaranteed hours. It sounds like you have childcare during the day, out of the house, so just guarantee 40 hours per week: m-f 6-8 and 3-9. Be clear that she will be tagteaming with you most of the time, but she must be willing and able to step in and take over completely if necessary (or scheduled). If you think you need the same coverage on weekends, look for a weekend nanny or two: either 6am to 8 pm or 6-2 and 1-9, overlapping so that you can get away for a while.