My husband is a jerk

[Anonymous]

Our kids are teens. They know and understand dad's style and mine. It has not harmed them - people are people and all different. Your daughter will figure out how to communicate with him differently than she does you.

[Anonymous]

THIS. Janet Lansbury once said that one parent can not 'undo' the work of the other and it stuck with me.

Keep doing your thing, but learn to be OK with your husband doing his.

I also think you can work to get on the same page over time, but that's only if you are BOTH willing to compromise and meet in the middle. The goal cannot be to make him parent just like you. That will fail.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Yesterday I had her for most of the day and she was great with me. He takes them for 5 minutes while I go to the bathroom and I hear her screaming for me. He texts me "Help!" Apparently she just walked over to the baby and hit her. There is more to that story that he isn't telling me. I'm sick of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it. My husband can be an ass about some things too, and has to stumble into the information on his own before he believes it (for example, he wasn't sure about the puffer jackets in car seats, until he saw a product on Shark Tank.) My husband respects me though, and when I express how his tone or attitude is being disruptive, he may be slightly insulted, but he'll work with me until we're on the same page. He needs to grow up and understand his role as a parent is to teach and guide your child, not to mock them. I'm extremely sarcastic too, but I understand that my 2 year old doesn't understand the nuances, and needs me to set an example. It shouldn't be his intention to raise an asshole.

Another Shark Tank bro! I love my DH but do we have to watch that show all the damn time!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Yesterday I had her for most of the day and she was great with me. He takes them for 5 minutes while I go to the bathroom and I hear her screaming for me. He texts me "Help!" Apparently she just walked over to the baby and hit her. There is more to that story that he isn't telling me. I'm sick of it.

THIS is an issue. Your original post I mostly chalked up to stylistic differences and that's more or less ok if you can stand it (like what PP said about Janet Lansbury and it not being possible to "undo" your work). But either his "style" is so crappy that he can't keep the kids from hitting each other for two seconds, he's unable to get by for 5 minutes without your help, or some combination of the two.

[Anonymous]

You parent your way and he parents his way. You don't get to dictate and control how he parents his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Right - seems like he must have had these traits before she met him. And, yes, OP, you can leave him and require supervised visits or classes so that his behavior improves. Your explanation - he is sarcastic, laughs at your daughter, etc. - but you can't leave him because YOU love him is actually selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Right - seems like he must have had these traits before she met him. And, yes, OP, you can leave him and require supervised visits or classes so that his behavior improves. Your explanation - he is sarcastic, laughs at your daughter, etc. - but you can't leave him because YOU love him is actually selfish.

*married not met

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Right - seems like he must have had these traits before she met him. And, yes, OP, you can leave him and require supervised visits or classes so that his behavior improves. Your explanation - he is sarcastic, laughs at your daughter, etc. - but you can't leave him because YOU love him is actually selfish.

Like we should know how our partners will be around children before we get married? GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Right - seems like he must have had these traits before she met him. And, yes, OP, you can leave him and require supervised visits or classes so that his behavior improves. Your explanation - he is sarcastic, laughs at your daughter, etc. - but you can't leave him because YOU love him is actually selfish.

Totally. And sacrificing your baby to an abusive parent because "Him being an a-hole makes me laugh! 😍" is selfish and frankly stupid as well. It's bad parenting, period. And it's done out of selfish laziness, which is really kind of sickening.

Anyway, I doubt I can talk any sense into you, so what's the point? You'll just do what benefits YOU, not your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Right - seems like he must have had these traits before she met him. And, yes, OP, you can leave him and require supervised visits or classes so that his behavior improves. Your explanation - he is sarcastic, laughs at your daughter, etc. - but you can't leave him because YOU love him is actually selfish.

Totally. And sacrificing your baby to an abusive parent because "Him being an a-hole makes me laugh! 😍" is selfish and frankly stupid as well. It's bad parenting, period. And it's done out of selfish laziness, which is really kind of sickening.

Anyway, I doubt I can talk any sense into you, so what's the point? You'll just do what benefits YOU, not your kids

I cannot keep my children away from their father. Are you suggesting I divorce him and go for full custody because he has issues controlling his laughter? Those times don't make ME laugh. I am asking for advice because he does those things. If you have nothing nice to say then move along, sanctimommy.

[Anonymous]

This is common and a big problem. And it leads men to opt out of any actual parenting and puts the burden on the mother. He IS being a jerk. Probably because he thinks he’s bad at being a dad. But what’s not going to make him better is refusing to read something you suggest and wanting to hit his child. I can’t imagine any mother receiving feedback from a spouse who is trying to tackle a parenting challenge and just point blank refusing to learn about it.

I think maybe the next step is telling him how you feel about this situation when you are cam and alone. Ask questions and listen to him to understand why he’s this way. Many men think they inherently know everything or their weak. It’s toxic masculinity in full view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

Most people would feel bad for the children of someone who would post this comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

+1

Yeah. Not everyone should be a parent. Not everyone is a good mom or dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awww I feel really bad for your daughter that you made such a poor life/parenting decision to be with what sounds like a garden variety douche. Your daughter deserved way better than the two of you. That's all. I wish her good luck

+1

Yeah. Not everyone should be a parent. Not everyone is a good mom or dad.

PP sock puppeting. Nope, you’re a bad person and you should feel bad about this ridiculous and meaningless comment.