Parents of bilingual kids - in need of some support

[Anonymous]

1. Sign up the children for a native language weekend class. They might not like it, but for international families like us, it's non-negotiable.

2. Watch the news in the native language, every single day.

3. Subscribe to child and adult magazines. My parents offered us a subscription to a quality science mag for teens from my native country, and it arrives every month at our house from overseas.

4. Watch movies in the native language. Listen to internet radio in that language. In brief, expose them AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

5. I hope you can travel to your country every now and then, see relatives, visit interesting places and eat great food.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the watching television and reading in your native language. I also wouldn't beat yourself up about not knowing a word here or there. We are a multi-lingual family and there are some topics/words, that we will naturally gravitate to one language or another. My teen is wearing a "boot" for a badly sprained ankle right now, and we all are using the English word when we refer to it, even though we don't speak english at home. I'm sure there are plenty of other words that we sprinkle throughout unconsciously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a native speaker of non-English language and my spouse is an American native English speaker. I moved to this country straight out of college 10 years before I had my kids. After I had my kids I did my best to speak to them in my native language, but due to my husband not understanding it, usually switched to English when he was around. Over time my kids got a lot more fluent in English and it was a lot easier to have some conversations in English. Today my oldest child asked me to only speak in my native language to her when we are alone, so she can keep up with it. I am determined to do this for her benefit, but I am nervous. It doesn't feel completely natural to me to speak in my native language anymore and I am worried that this will create a communication gap between me and teenager. She won't be able to respond back in my native language in all conversations, but said she would try her best.
We talk a lot about current events so I am concerned that my vocabulary will be lacking. I moved away from .my country more than 20 years ago!
Anyone in the same situation and can offer some words of comfort?

You received a bunch of good advice already. I just want to speak to what I often see pop up in the "bilingual kids" conversation - switching to English when your partner is present "so that they can understand." Consider not doing that. It eats into your speaking habits and hurts language acquisition. We are a trilingual family (Russian & Arabic) and we NEVER switch to English when the other parent is present unless for some reason I need his input. I don't need to be a part of every conversation DH has with the kids, and he doesn't need to be a part of mine. The fear of exclusion is usually in your head. We've dealt with this very early on, and decided that the feeling of exclusion (if it happened) is the price of teaching our children our heritage languages, and we don't mind paying it.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest supplementing with films you can watch together, music while you’re cooking and explain the lyrics, books... cookbooks, travel guidebooks, hiking books. Anything with kind of a social context will help it feel more natural. A language is a world, not just words. As much as you can immerse and give cultural points of reference it will help make it feel more natural and rich.

[Anonymous]

What others recommended: immerse yourself into your native language. it can be listening to radio while you do dishes, or watching some popular shows on youtube, reading blogs, magazines, news. Find your hobbies and follow influencers on instagram who specialize in that in your native language - for example i follow lots of interior designers for work, but in russian.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think the issue is not that you aren’t familiar with your language anymore; the issue is that you started speaking English to your kids and it feels weird to switch.
I have always spoken my native language to my kids and I would feel really weird to speak to them in English. On the other hand, I started speaking English with my husband when I met him and while we both understand and speak each other’s languages, it feels weird and unnatural to speak anything other than English.

We are lucky that I understand what my husband says to our kids, he understands what I discuss with our kids and our kids speak 3 languages.

It also helps that my kids spend 2-3 months a year in my country and very few people even understand English there.

You just need to do it... from what I hear, you are lucky your daughter wants to challenge herself and speak your language with you...