Nanny's holiday plans - renting a house with extended family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny again -

I also want to say that unless your nanny is under surveillance, you don’t actually know that’s she’s being careful. Do you know how many nannies are lying to their employers about staying home? It’s all over Reddit, Facebook message groups and even here on the manny boards. Nannies are lying because they know they will be replaced if they tell their employers they don’t stay home and social distance.

Your nanny had to tell you about this trip, because she needs time off. She doesn’t have to tell you the truth about what she’s doing after 6pm and on weekends.

It goes both ways so there must be trust regardless, whether during a pandemic or otherwise. That is why a breach of trust means the end of the employment for many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny again -

I also want to say that unless your nanny is under surveillance, you don’t actually know that’s she’s being careful. Do you know how many nannies are lying to their employers about staying home? It’s all over Reddit, Facebook message groups and even here on the manny boards. Nannies are lying because they know they will be replaced if they tell their employers they don’t stay home and social distance.

Your nanny had to tell you about this trip, because she needs time off. She doesn’t have to tell you the truth about what she’s doing after 6pm and on weekends.

It goes both ways so there must be trust regardless, whether during a pandemic or otherwise. That is why a breach of trust means the end of the employment for many.

Yes, but things right now are crazy and you can’t rely on other people to protect you. I’m just saying as a nanny I know of many people who are not being honest because they are afraid to lose their jobs, so they’re claiming to be strict about staying home. Op’s nanny had to tell her about the trip, but can easily lie about evenings and weekends. Frankly, anyone who thinks it’s okay to go on a plane and stay on a house with others is someone who isn’t used to staying home. I get freaked out walking by people on the sidewalk, because the only place I go is to work and back home. If this nanny is cool with that kind of travel, she hasn’t been staying home. You don’t go from zero to 10000000 from living like a hermit at home to getting on a plane.

[Anonymous]

I understand what you are saying, pp, but it’s either compromise or do without a valuable employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny again -

I also want to say that unless your nanny is under surveillance, you don’t actually know that’s she’s being careful. Do you know how many nannies are lying to their employers about staying home? It’s all over Reddit, Facebook message groups and even here on the manny boards. Nannies are lying because they know they will be replaced if they tell their employers they don’t stay home and social distance.

Your nanny had to tell you about this trip, because she needs time off. She doesn’t have to tell you the truth about what she’s doing after 6pm and on weekends.

It goes both ways so there must be trust regardless, whether during a pandemic or otherwise. That is why a breach of trust means the end of the employment for many.

Yes, but things right now are crazy and you can’t rely on other people to protect you. I’m just saying as a nanny I know of many people who are not being honest because they are afraid to lose their jobs, so they’re claiming to be strict about staying home. Op’s nanny had to tell her about the trip, but can easily lie about evenings and weekends. Frankly, anyone who thinks it’s okay to go on a plane and stay on a house with others is someone who isn’t used to staying home. I get freaked out walking by people on the sidewalk, because the only place I go is to work and back home. If this nanny is cool with that kind of travel, she hasn’t been staying home. You don’t go from zero to 10000000 from living like a hermit at home to getting on a plane.

That!

Oh my word, I don’t know when the thought of flying with recirculating air will feel normal...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So here's the thing. She probably shouldn't be doing this and you are right to have her quarantine, and from a "fairness" perspective, maybe it should be unpaid.

BUT.. I would still pay her. You need childcare and nannies are in high demand right now, so she could take this as an opportunity to walk. Even if she is not inclined to do that, her salary for that quarantine is probably a sunk cost that you have factored into your family budget, whereas she will likely suffer financially if she misses paid time off. She has not seen her family in a long time and if her parents are elderly, I can see why that would be hard for her.

This is an unprecedented time and in making these choices with my own nanny, I try to err on the side of being overgenerous and humane because I want the person who takes care of my kids to be taken care of, and it's the right thing to do. Our nanny has taken a ton of time off this year before COVID. We paid her during to not work for three months. That sucked, and I would have liked to have had that money for us, and we get frustrated that she is "out of time off" but I do my best to be understanding and grateful for her.

That whole novel to say.. I do get why it's frustrating to pay her to not work. I just do not think this is something I would go to bat over, particularly over the holidays. Perhaps I am a sucker but that's how we approach it.

Anyone who paid their nanny not to work for three months was a sucker. The rest of us took precautions, worked from home and had our nannies continue to work.

+ 1,000,000. I would go farther than sucker and say idiot. Unless you are high-risk, there is really no need to go to this extreme. Actually, our nanny recently had to fly cross-country for an unavoidable reason, and we didn’t quarantine her afterwards. Because we trust her to mask up, we are low-risk, and trying to work while taking care of DC is very painful.