Mom is angry that my son's step-grandparents send him gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she is out of line and thinking only of herself, not her grandchild. Grandchild has only ONE grandparent in his life. It doesn't hurt that other grandparent types acknowledge him. Every kid want to feel he has community if it is at all possible.

And know that your husband will tell his wife and she might tell her parents and then it will all stop. I would tell husband's wife that her parents' efforts are appreciated. And know, I do not have a step-grandchild.

+1

Do you see her at drop-offs and pick-ups? "Larlo told you what my mom said about your parents sending gifts to Junior. I'm so sorry. That was totally out of left field. I appreciate how kind they are to Jr. and I know it means a lot to him, too, to have them in his life."

+100. This would be a nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Your mother is upset because there are two more adults in the world who are your son’s well-wishers and who think fondly or kindly of him? She is being incredibly selfish. Divorce is HARD on kids. It sounds like they are a bit of lemonade from the divorce lemon your son is dealing with. Tell your mother to stop being selfish and to think if her grandson’s feelings. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you not off base, but you may consider reaching out to your son's stepmother to apologize for your mom!

There’s no need to do this. OP’s mother made no contact with the step grandmother. She texted the child’s father. My guess is that the step grandmother has no idea about this, and she shouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Is something else going on with your mom? Her reaction is bizarre to say the least.

[Anonymous]

Your Mom is angry. Or sad ... or frustrated, or whatever. It's not your wheelhouse to manage her emotions, correct or influence her emotions, or have her emotions affect you in any way.

[Anonymous]

Child of divorce here, and divorced. Your mom is way out of line. WAY out of line. That is so selfish and self centered, I wonder if she has a personality disorder. It has NOTHING to do with her.

Not everything is about you (your mom)!

[Anonymous]

Your mom has issues OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you not off base, but you may consider reaching out to your son's stepmother to apologize for your mom!

There’s no need to do this. OP’s mother made no contact with the step grandmother. She texted the child’s father. My guess is that the step grandmother has no idea about this, and she shouldn’t.

The step mother will surely hear about it, from her husband (OP's ex.) OP would be well served to bring it up with the step mother. OP prizes a smooth coparenting relationship including the stepmother, so this is exactly the kind of thing she should leave no room for misunderstanding about!

[Anonymous]

Your mom is nuts. A child can never have too many people who love them in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Your mom was nowhere near base.

"Back off, Mom."

[Anonymous]

Good for you to have worked out such a positive co-parenting relationship and for supporting your child in his new family relationships. Your mom is way out of line.

FWIW, my siblings have divorced many times and I have a combination of step nieces and nephews as well as bio ones and IL ones. And my kids are adopted. So, it's a bit eclectic in our family. Everyone treats everyone as family, whether you are an ex, a step, a bio or an adopted. You will never be sorry to have a lot of people who love your child and make him feel special. I hope your mom gets over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you not off base, but you may consider reaching out to your son's stepmother to apologize for your mom!

There’s no need to do this. OP’s mother made no contact with the step grandmother. She texted the child’s father. My guess is that the step grandmother has no idea about this, and she shouldn’t.

The step mother will surely hear about it, from her husband (OP's ex.) OP would be well served to bring it up with the step mother. OP prizes a smooth coparenting relationship including the stepmother, so this is exactly the kind of thing she should leave no room for misunderstanding about!

Disagree. OP can talk to her ex and his wife. IF they have said something, then yes, OP can apologize. But the ex and his wife may realize that saying something would only embarrass OP’s mom. Thus, no need for OP to apologize.

[Anonymous]

I would apologize to my ex in this situation and ask her to pass it along as needed. The Christmas after my ex left me for the AP, AP's mom gave my child a very extravagant gift. Whatever. It was weird, maybe inappropriate, but it didn't harm anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you tell her?

I always sent my husband's kids gifts but his ex never gave the kids the stuff so eventually after a few years I stopped. If you support it, tell your mom its not a competition and grow up.

Not OP, but often kids will tell things during FaceTime.

[Anonymous]

Your mom is crazy. There is no grandparent ranking and its wonderful that your son is surrounded by positivity and welcoming people. This bodes well for his self esteem and your continued successful co-parenting relationship. How terrific that they do this.

-stepmom of a really well adjusted 23 year old. My parents did this