4 yo DS has been completely falling apart at 5 every day....

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a good thing you’ve identified why he’s overtired. He needs a nap. Set them in his bed, dark in his room and maybe put up a sound machine. You may need to be consistent about this and insistent until he is in his routine.

[Anonymous]

I would do a reward chart for staying in his room all night. Cut out the drugs you are giving him, yes I know they’re hormones not drugs but it’s the same thing. Wear him out during the day, lots of fresh air and exercise. Have him in bed by 7.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t do a nap for a 4yo. Just makes bedtime later. Get him in bed earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do a nap for a 4yo. Just makes bedtime later. Get him in bed earlier.

Most 4-year-olds need a nap. Did you not read that he is awake at 4 am or 5 am and up for the day? I would be beyond grouchy by 5 pm if I was up at 4 am. She needs to solve him being overtired, which he is for days on end.
My DS had a nap at 4 years old, it did not interfere with his night sleep. The issue here is that OP is providing conditions for him to have an excuse to treat night as an adventure. He can move to the mattress in her room, he has a ton of noise machines in his room. She checks up on him when she pees at 4 am. It is like a busy train station at her house in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

You need to get rid of the floor bed in your room. You're going to end up with a 12 year old camping out in your bedroom every night. How do you have sex like that?

This is going to take a lot of work. Hire a sleep consultant.

[Anonymous]

What time does he go to bed and what time is he awake? My DS turns 4 in a few weeks and it's been an adjustment the past couple of months since he stopped napping. We now eat dinner around 5-5:30ish and start bath and bed a little after 6. He's in bed by around 7, sleeps until 6ish.

[Anonymous]

I’m not convinced about him being overtired. He sounds anxious across the board. Good sleep doesn’t hurt but it’s not going to treat anxiety.

5 pm is also perhaps time for a small snack? And a time when many kids who have held it together for daytime events (school, pre-k, etc) start to lose it and go where they go when whatever exec function they have starts going offline.

I feel for this poor kid. Poor parents, too! But: treat the anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I agree with those saying nap. My oldest is almost and is a hot mess by dinnertime if he doesn't nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those saying nap. My oldest is almost and is a hot mess by dinnertime if he doesn't nap.

Almost 4!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What time does he go to bed and what time is he awake? My DS turns 4 in a few weeks and it's been an adjustment the past couple of months since he stopped napping. We now eat dinner around 5-5:30ish and start bath and bed a little after 6. He's in bed by around 7, sleeps until 6ish.

Op here. We used to put him down between 7:30 and 8 but now (in the last 2-3 weeks) we’ve moved it back to 6:45-7:15. He sometimes falls asleep immediately, sometimes he’s awake in his bed until 8:30ish.

He ususally comes into our room at some point in the night and then is almost always awake by 5:00.

I’m going to try to get him more sunlight and exercise and try the coin/ticket thing and work on getting him out of our room.

I’ve worked on the nap thing and just really not had much success....I’ll see if I can get him to, but I’m not confident I’ll be able to get him to nap again. He will in the car but work makes it so I can’t drive him around in the middle of the day.

[Anonymous]

I’m just going to say that a lot of kids are having sleep issues and problems sleeping in their own rooms during Covid. The routine is messed up because we don’t go to school, everything is off. I have been letting my kids sleep wherever they can get restful sleep because it’s a stressful time and we all need a break.

[Anonymous]

Op—any updates? What have you tried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op—any updates? What have you tried?

Op here. I don’t think this is going to change quickly. I ordered DS a new bike online and got mine tuned up, so we can go on bike rides. Hoping the exercise will help his anxiety and his sleep.

We tried telling him we’d give him a toy if he slept in his bed all night but he still came into our room last night. I think if I try to cut him off from that option cold turkey, he will be hysterical and end up waking up the whole family. Or he will just come into our bed if we remove the mattress and I can’t sleep with him in my bed with me.

Over the 4 day weekend I’m going to see if I can get him back into the habit of napping, but I really have tried before so I’m not sure if it will work. The problem I had before with the naps is it started taking him so long to fall asleep that he’d end up napping way too late (like I’d start trying to get him down at 1 and he wouldn’t sleep until after 3).

[Anonymous]

Nap. Keep your kids napping as long as you can. Better in the long run for brain development and long term health. There’s a reason kids used to regularly nap until 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do a nap for a 4yo. Just makes bedtime later. Get him in bed earlier.

Most 4-year-olds need a nap. Did you not read that he is awake at 4 am or 5 am and up for the day? I would be beyond grouchy by 5 pm if I was up at 4 am. She needs to solve him being overtired, which he is for days on end.
My DS had a nap at 4 years old, it did not interfere with his night sleep. The issue here is that OP is providing conditions for him to have an excuse to treat night as an adventure. He can move to the mattress in her room, he has a ton of noise machines in his room. She checks up on him when she pees at 4 am. It is like a busy train station at her house in the middle of the night.

I haven’t heard that most 4 year olds need a nap. I remember posting here when DS was 3.5 and most people said at that age their kids had stopped napping.