Can you discipline a 19 month old?

[Anonymous]

Redirect. He's not laughing in defiance of you. His simple mind is entertained. Maybe you look funny when your mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Redirect their attention. That's the best you can hope for at that age. Don't smack his hands -- that will damage your relationship and not help with behavior at all.

This. It's all about distraction and redirection at this age. Essentially, distract them and engage them in the desired behavior.

+1

At this age, you redirect and show him what you want him to do.

[Anonymous]

Say no and redirect. Over... and over... and over... and over...

At that age I reserved time-outs for 'quiet time to get over a tantrum', not as discipline for doing something they weren't supposed to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started timeout at 18 mos so yes.
I would say NO in a serious voice and make her sit on the floor or the bottom stair for one minute. Then I would tell her she could get up again when the minute was up.

I know all kids and families are different and I legit don’t judge but no study has shown time outs to be effective discipline and they can be kind of bad for emotional health. Maybe important for the parent to be able to cool down though.

I am the PP and it worked for us. I acknowledge its only one kid but it worked. When she was 2 and3 I could take her anywhere, restaurant etc and she would be well behaved.

I think it's significant that you have a girl and OP has a boy. I could also take my girl anywhere. She was so good, so obedient, so calm - I barely had to use any "strategies" or even think about discipline. My boy is so different.

[Anonymous]

Time out for 2 min solo in crib with no toys after three warnings. Worked perfectly for 1.5-2.

[Anonymous]

The laughter Is a very brief stage. Very Soon he will be throwing himself on the floor screaming when you tell him no and/or stop him. Remove and redirect for now. Repeat repeat repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Redirect their attention. That's the best you can hope for at that age. Don't smack his hands -- that will damage your relationship and not help with behavior at all.

This. It's all about distraction and redirection at this age. Essentially, distract them and engage them in the desired behavior.

+2.

[Anonymous]

I've found "Ah ah ah" with a finger wave to be weirdly effective. It just clicks for him.

If he does something dangerous my big response is to pick him up and carry him away.

[Anonymous]

Just because he laughs doesn’t mean your not discipling him . Don’t get his reaction with your action confused.

[Anonymous]

Time out for 2 min solo in crib with no toys after three warnings. Worked perfectly for 1.5-2.

Bad idea. Time outs should never be in the crib. Then the kid associates bedtime/his crib with punishment--I would not do anything to undermine things to do with sleep routines.

[Anonymous]

You need new strategies. Try following big little feelings on Instagram ASAP and I would recommend taking their course. It’s really digestible and really helpful at that age. It will just continue to get more difficult so you really need to build some of those foundational strategies that go well beyond no (and definitely not slapping of hands)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time out for 2 min solo in crib with no toys after three warnings. Worked perfectly for 1.5-2.

I do not recommend this. Time outs are no longer supported by most child development folks, there are other strategies you can use. See post above

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need new strategies. Try following big little feelings on Instagram ASAP and I would recommend taking their course. It’s really digestible and really helpful at that age. It will just continue to get more difficult so you really need to build some of those foundational strategies that go well beyond no (and definitely not slapping of hands)

+1

Thinking in terms of punishment/discipline at this age is going too set you up for some very combative interactions over the next few years. He can't conceptualize punishment right now. He is at a developmental stage where he has a trust bond with his caregivers and he needs to be sure that bond is secure. I will try to test the bond. He will experiment with behavior to see how you react. He's trying to figure out what the boundaries are and to determine what reactions he can expect from you. He's not being "bad" -- he doesn't even know what that is, as evidenced by his laughing.

In addition to big little feelings, I recommend seed.and.sew and yourmamavillage. I get tons of tips and ideas, and just reassurance on how to support kids this age. They are experiencing the world for the first time and it can be exciting, scary, uncertain, and strange. And they have don't yet have many tools for figuring it out. Instead of thinking in terms of discipline or curbing unwanted behavior, I think of it in terms of teaching and guiding my daughter towards more productive solutions. When she is doing something that feels like a bad solution to an issue, I sit down and talk to her about what else she can do. Her cognition is still new, so we have to do it a lot, but you see improvement over time. And then it's great because when there are problems or conflicts, she has a skillset for dealing with them. We are even to the point with her (she's 3) where when we are are getting frustrated or unproductive, she will say things like "Maybe we should take some deep breaths and see if we can collect our feelings in our hands. Then we can try talking about it, Mama." It's kind of amazing. I wish my parents had parented this way -- I think it would have saved me a lot of grief and struggle in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so, how?

Every time we try to get serious, make eye contact and tell him “no”, or grab him sternly away from a situation, or try timeout, he literally laughs and thinks it’s a game a[b] keeps doing what he was doing.

I’ve even lightly slapped his hands and he laughs.

Thoughts/tips?

Physically move him. Keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, you can absolutely discipline a 19 month old, if by discipline you mean the original definition, which means TO TEACH not to punish.

Do yourself a favor and read No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury. It will change your whole mindset around and make this stage so much easier for you both.

It changed my life.