Reply to Can you discipline a 19 month old?

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Reply to "Can you discipline a 19 month old?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need new strategies. Try following big little feelings on Instagram ASAP and I would recommend taking their course. It’s really digestible and really helpful at that age. It will just continue to get more difficult so you really need to build some of those foundational strategies that go well beyond no (and definitely not slapping of hands) [/quote]

Thinking in terms of punishment/discipline at this age is going too set you up for some very combative interactions over the next few years. He can't conceptualize punishment right now. He is at a developmental stage where he has a trust bond with his caregivers and he needs to be sure that bond is secure. I will try to test the bond. He will experiment with behavior to see how you react. He's trying to figure out what the boundaries are and to determine what reactions he can expect from you. He's not being "bad" -- he doesn't even know what that is, as evidenced by his laughing.

In addition to big little feelings, I recommend seed.and.sew and yourmamavillage. I get tons of tips and ideas, and just reassurance on how to support kids this age. They are experiencing the world for the first time and it can be exciting, scary, uncertain, and strange. And they have don't yet have many tools for figuring it out. Instead of thinking in terms of discipline or curbing unwanted behavior, I think of it in terms of teaching and guiding my daughter towards more productive solutions. When she is doing something that feels like a bad solution to an issue, I sit down and talk to her about what else she can do. Her cognition is still new, so we have to do it a lot, but you see improvement over time. And then it's great because when there are problems or conflicts, she has a skillset for dealing with them. We are even to the point with her (she's 3) where when we are are getting frustrated or unproductive, she will say things like "Maybe we should take some deep breaths and see if we can collect our feelings in our hands. Then we can try talking about it, Mama." It's kind of amazing. I wish my parents had parented this way -- I think it would have saved me a lot of grief and struggle in life.[/quote]

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