College Kids returning... house rules?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a pandemic, anyone who expects members of your household to engage with their household has the right to ask about your rules and to choose their own behavior. And we all know our teens revert back upon returning home.


Personally, I think your rules are too lax, and our household would not be spending time with your household. Fortunately, my son is on our page. I worry most about people who say things like "our son... got covid so I'm not really worried about him" because the way you put it makes it sound like you don't care about other people.

+1

Too lax, and people know it and are protecting themselves from OP's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our college kids are returning and was wondering what house rules everybody else is having.

I ask because a few moms have reached out to me and asked if I will be quarantining my two sons for 14 days upon return from college and they would like my sons to not see their sons until they have quarantined for 14 days. They asked for only masked visits and for them to be outside only.

I'm not sure why they are telling me their rules, their sons should communicate this to them, everybody is different and I can't keep track of everybody's rules.

If that is their rules at their house that is fine, if my son does not quarantine 14 days and that is their rule, they should not invite him over.

One son is a college athlete and got COVID from his team practices so I'm not really worried about him.

The other son will be testing before returning, testing upon return, quarantining until we have a 2nd negative. We are only doing Thanksgiving with my sons and their girlfriends.

After that they can have their girlfriends over and they can see a few friends ~10 (like we did all summer).

I won't require masks in my house, I will allow 2 or 3 friends over at a time, I won't require them to sit outside.

You? They will be home this weekend through January.

No wonder your kid got sick. You are taking lots of irresponsible risks, and taught them to do the same.

No friends should enter your home. You will undo all of their parents’ conscientious efforts!

He got sick because he had to play to keep his scholarship.

You mean college aged kids will follow their parents rules and not enter my home. That is fine with me. I don’t know why moms are even involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a pandemic, anyone who expects members of your household to engage with their household has the right to ask about your rules and to choose their own behavior. And we all know our teens revert back upon returning home.


Personally, I think your rules are too lax, and our household would not be spending time with your household. Fortunately, my son is on our page. I worry most about people who say things like "our son... got covid so I'm not really worried about him" because the way you put it makes it sound like you don't care about other people.

+1

Too lax, and people know it and are protecting themselves from OP's family.

Actually it was 4 out of the 10 families on the text.

So yes 4 are going with isolation and 6 family are going with weekly testing and small groups.

[Anonymous]

They are delusional thinking that their son have been careful or will be isolating at home. I know first hand that almost no college kids are being careful. Sure, they wear masks where they have to, sure a few are careful.

[Anonymous]

R U kidding right now? These college buds will be palling around within days

[Anonymous]

OP, have you maybe had COVID that this is why you are so lax? I guess I could see that.

If not, this is a pretty solid way to risk getting it.

I would reconsider your rules. Behavior like this -- ~10 friends, no masks inside -- is why we can't get the pandemic under control. If your friends suspect or have heard this is your plan, I can see why they'd want to jump in and preempt any gatherings between your and their household, even if it's awkward for a parent of a college-aged child to try to regulate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid just notified me tonight her friend she went ti dinner Saturday night has full Covid, got sick morning after and got tested.

That person caught it from a roommate it appears. There was 4 at that dinner and all have roommates.

To add to madness school only allows folks who are sure they don’t have Covid to take walk in test. She needs DR appointment which is Friday.

Her college is not testing anyone leaving like most colleges. Be careful

I’m sorry that happened.

My kids had jobs over the summer so we had about 6 times one or the other was in “close contact” ... the 1st time testing was frustrating and confusing.

Good luck with the test. It’s maddening we don’t have nationwide easily accessible testing.

My son’s roommate was positive and his mom mailed him a rapid test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you maybe had COVID that this is why you are so lax? I guess I could see that.

If not, this is a pretty solid way to risk getting it.

I would reconsider your rules. Behavior like this -- ~10 friends, no masks inside -- is why we can't get the pandemic under control. If your friends suspect or have heard this is your plan, I can see why they'd want to jump in and preempt any gatherings between your and their household, even if it's awkward for a parent of a college-aged child to try to regulate this.

No. But one son has. My H snd I only leave the house for grocery and to walk the dog.

It’s actually only 4 people doing the 14 day restriction. The rest are going with testing and seeing a few friends at a time out of a total of 10 friend (now 6 I guess). Seeing each other basically involves watching movies and playing video games. They will probably go out to eat a few times.

I actually just think the people who are using my testing and small group plan are in the majority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our college kids are returning and was wondering what house rules everybody else is having.

I ask because a few moms have reached out to me and asked if I will be quarantining my two sons for 14 days upon return from college and they would like my sons to not see their sons until they have quarantined for 14 days. They asked for only masked visits and for them to be outside only.

I'm not sure why they are telling me their rules, their sons should communicate this to them, everybody is different and I can't keep track of everybody's rules.

If that is their rules at their house that is fine, if my son does not quarantine 14 days and that is their rule, they should not invite him over.

One son is a college athlete and got COVID from his team practices so I'm not really worried about him.

The other son will be testing before returning, testing upon return, quarantining until we have a 2nd negative. We are only doing Thanksgiving with my sons and their girlfriends.

After that they can have their girlfriends over and they can see a few friends ~10 (like we did all summer).

I won't require masks in my house, I will allow 2 or 3 friends over at a time, I won't require them to sit outside.

You? They will be home this weekend through January.

No wonder your kid got sick. You are taking lots of irresponsible risks, and taught them to do the same.

No friends should enter your home. You will undo all of their parents’ conscientious efforts!

He got sick because he had to play to keep his scholarship.

You mean college aged kids will follow their parents rules and not enter my home. That is fine with me. I don’t know why moms are even involved.

Moms are involved because the discussions involve their homes, their families, and their safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:R U kidding right now? These college buds will be palling around within days

Not mine. He will comply with our house rules, as he did from March-August. He can have a friend or two over to hang out on our porch, go to visit at a firepit in someone's yard, go for a walk, visit an outdoors museum.

No one is coming inside our house, and he won't go in others' houses either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our college kids are returning and was wondering what house rules everybody else is having.

I'm not sure why they are telling me their rules, their sons should communicate this to them, everybody is different and I can't keep track of everybody's rules.

If that is their rules at their house that is fine, if my son does not quarantine 14 days and that is their rule, they should not invite him over.

I agree - they should communicate directly with their own children about their expectations, and should only be communicating rules to people actually visiting. If they are not inviting you over, why are they telling you rules for your adult children? Makes no sense.

I think they are just trying to understand other peoples rules to gage each other’s rules. One deferred college because their mom was too afraid to send him, one already had it (college athlete)... I don’t know about the other 2.

My sons had jobs all summer, I’m sure they will deliver Uber eats or something over the holidays. For some isolation is not possible ... for others it’s necessary. I think it’s up to each family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our college kids are returning and was wondering what house rules everybody else is having.

I ask because a few moms have reached out to me and asked if I will be quarantining my two sons for 14 days upon return from college and they would like my sons to not see their sons until they have quarantined for 14 days. They asked for only masked visits and for them to be outside only.

I'm not sure why they are telling me their rules, their sons should communicate this to them, everybody is different and I can't keep track of everybody's rules.

If that is their rules at their house that is fine, if my son does not quarantine 14 days and that is their rule, they should not invite him over.

One son is a college athlete and got COVID from his team practices so I'm not really worried about him.

The other son will be testing before returning, testing upon return, quarantining until we have a 2nd negative. We are only doing Thanksgiving with my sons and their girlfriends.

After that they can have their girlfriends over and they can see a few friends ~10 (like we did all summer).

I won't require masks in my house, I will allow 2 or 3 friends over at a time, I won't require them to sit outside.

You? They will be home this weekend through January.

No wonder your kid got sick. You are taking lots of irresponsible risks, and taught them to do the same.

No friends should enter your home. You will undo all of their parents’ conscientious efforts!

He got sick because he had to play to keep his scholarship.

You mean college aged kids will follow their parents rules and not enter my home. That is fine with me. I don’t know why moms are even involved.

Moms are involved because the discussions involve their homes, their families, and their safety.

That’s between them and their sons, not other families.

[Anonymous]

OP i agree with you that the moms shouldn't really be the primary ones communicating this at college age but I also agree that they are probably trying to express it to you because it sounds like you are way more lax than the vast majority in this area right now in terms of inside exposure because you are saying you will allow about 10 friends (overall) coming and going inside which right now is by far the biggest cause of the spread of this virus (different households interacting inside other's homes) and most people I know are actively avoiding this with anyone outside their immediate pod.

You are right that every family has their own risk tolerance, but this is also about being a part of a community and playing a part in the community effort to slow down spread, in my opinion. So even though you aren't worried about your one son because he already had it, if you invite groups of his friends inside your home, those kids are all at risk (not from your son but each other). You are totally right that they are adults and they should be able to manage this but we all know that most college aged kids still need their parents help managing risk (frontal lobe development still at work). I would encourage moving your boundaries to just being outside hang outs and then you will lower the risk of your house being the spot of a spreading event greatly (and getting it yourself).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:R U kidding right now? These college buds will be palling around within days

Not mine. He will comply with our house rules, as he did from March-August. He can have a friend or two over to hang out on our porch, go to visit at a firepit in someone's yard, go for a walk, visit an outdoors museum.

No one is coming inside our house, and he won't go in others' houses either.

Our son will be similar. It isn't a big challenge for him to follow our rules because he doesn't want covid, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP i agree with you that the moms shouldn't really be the primary ones communicating this at college age but I also agree that they are probably trying to express it to you because it sounds like you are way more lax than the vast majority in this area right now in terms of inside exposure because you are saying you will allow about 10 friends (overall) coming and going inside which right now is by far the biggest cause of the spread of this virus (different households interacting inside other's homes) and most people I know are actively avoiding this with anyone outside their immediate pod.

You are right that every family has their own risk tolerance, but this is also about being a part of a community and playing a part in the community effort to slow down spread, in my opinion. So even though you aren't worried about your one son because he already had it, if you invite groups of his friends inside your home, those kids are all at risk (not from your son but each other). You are totally right that they are adults and they should be able to manage this but we all know that most college aged kids still need their parents help managing risk (frontal lobe development still at work). I would encourage moving your boundaries to just being outside hang outs and then you will lower the risk of your house being the spot of a spreading event greatly (and getting it yourself).

I understand your concern and the concern of the 4 parents. I suspect those 4 will do the 14 day isolation and see each other outside with masks.

I suspect the other 6 will test upon arrival and see each other over the next 2-3 months (like they did all summer) hanging out in each others basements watching TV and playing video games.

Actually i really don't think either is right or wrong, it's becoming more clear that the 4 kids are pushing back on their parents rules which is why they are reaching out.

I don't think small pods are creating spread. I think it's people that are having uncle bob over after his boat parade and aunt betty who doesn't believe in masks.