Working women are getting the shaft

[Anonymous]

My husband does everything now. For a good portion of our marriage I did most of it. I work full time from home. Then he had an affair and after it was discovered he took on everything without asking: laundry, grocery shopping, meals, carpools, etc. I might write her a thank you note. I relax like a man now and have a raging libido. It feels good to live like a male. In my next life, I’m coming back as a husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you put up wit this. I do the lions share of "administrative" stuff when it comes to the kids (making appts, buying clothes etc) but he does all the cooking, yard work, and stuff around the house. It ends up being a really even split. It's never been a point of discussion; it just happened. Not sure how much it has to do with the fact that he was raised by a no-nonsense single mom or that we didn't marry until he was in his early 40s and he'd been living alone for 20 years. I wouldn't put up with anything less than an even split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why you put up wit this. I do the lions share of "administrative" stuff when it comes to the kids (making appts, buying clothes etc) but he does all the cooking, yard work, and stuff around the house. It ends up being a really even split. It's never been a point of discussion; it just happened. Not sure how much it has to do with the fact that he was raised by a no-nonsense single mom or that we didn't marry until he was in his early 40s and he'd been living alone for 20 years. I wouldn't put up with anything less than an even split.

Yes, that absolutely has everything to do with it. He is rare.

[Anonymous]

My DH does as much of the housework and child-related labor as I do (maybe more since we are now cleaning the house ourselves and he seems to enjoy vacuuming). This is a change from when we were first married. It took a while for him to understand just how much work home ownership entailed, and we definitely had some fights early on as I strove to get him to understand what was fair. He’s been fantastic with the kids from day one. We both work full-time and he has an intense and high-paying job.

The majority of my working mom friends have similarly equitable marriages. Relatively few of my SAHM ones do, but they all have loads of household help.

[Anonymous]

We manage because we have a nanny for childcare and DH has a lighter schedule and is working from home right now. He is responsible for all laundry and most post dinner cleanup. I enjoy cooking so i do it. There have been weeks where he made dinner every night because i was swamped. I do bedtimes as thats my time with the kids and im still nursing the baby. He was always a full partner and now it really shows and makes our lives easier on weekdays. I make about 30% more than he does but have a little more room for career growth.

[Anonymous]

Very true and I have a super hard working husband who cooks and cleans. Even still, the majority is on me and it’s like he’s my 2nd in command. I have to make the major decisions- decorating, where to vacation, packing, buying anything for the kids, gifts, all the Christmas magic on and on. Some are fun, but sometimes it gets to be a drag and they do add up time wise. And at work, I see it too that women pick up the slack for men. So it’s not just a game they play for their wives. I don’t think men can truly juggle 100 plates in the air like women. Oh and were expected to be in shape while looking hot doing it all. There’s a lot more focus on women than men in that respect too.

Still wouldn’t want to trade being a woman for being a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

Pretty sure RBG had hired help at home..

And what did Kamala's DH step up to? They married late in life and don't have kids. Either way, he isn't home scrubbing toilets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

How do you know RBGs husband cleaned the house? Kamala and Doug split time between a multi-million dollar condo and a multi-million dollar house (the new Second 'kids' are in their twenties). I bet they have housekeepers. They're both Type A in their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both work in biglaw type jobs (biglaw pay and hours at boutiques). He has never, ever, ever really equally contributed at home. Someone on here described an attitude of "I'll do my best, she'll do the rest" and that is spot on. Though for him, it's more like, "I'll do my best... ." He doesn't even see everything he lets slip through the cracks and doesn't even wonder how it gets done. From his perspective, he's doing everything he can [without making a single sacrifice on his professional front), and how could anyone expect more?

But whenever I point out that this is not fair to me, and I need to step back, he resists it. It's so absurd.

They refuse to see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

This is gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

Pretty sure RBG had hired help at home..

And what did Kamala's DH step up to? They married late in life and don't have kids. Either way, he isn't home scrubbing toilets

Exactly. Kamala doesn’t have biological children. When she married her husband, her step kids weren’t kids. So she hasn’t gone any child rearing or taken on those kind of responsibilities or stress. And she has only been married a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

Pretty sure RBG had hired help at home..

And what did Kamala's DH step up to? They married late in life and don't have kids. Either way, he isn't home scrubbing toilets

Exactly. Kamala doesn’t have biological children. When she married her husband, her step kids weren’t kids. So she hasn’t gone any child rearing or taken on those kind of responsibilities or stress. And she has only been married a few years.

Sounds like a smart woman.

She's 56 and about to be the most powerful woman in the United States if not the world.

[Anonymous]

We are both WFH with non-stressful, flexible jobs and split housework evenly. Shortly after DC was born, I was feeling burned out and responsible for too much, so we set up a system that has worked great for 5+ years: We alternate so one person does bedtime and the other person does dishes/making lunches/straightening up, so that no one person has to do it all each night. This has worked great.

I also am working HARD to delegate tasks to DH and hand him over full responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Women's communication shapes division of labor in household
Women's relationship satisfaction depends on equal household duties, while men's depends on partner's

communicationhttps://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/06/200609144444.htm