Do you know any SES with young children?

[Anonymous]

My wife and I are both SFS (the Foreign Service equivalent of SES) and we have an 10 year old. Juggling two demanding jobs with parenting is tough, especially right now with distance learning. You set boundaries at the office, come up with a routine, and make it work.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both 15s with young children, they're 4 and 6. There is already a lot of juggling. I don't think being an SES would be that much work but neither of us are aiming for that just yet.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Two. One is management with a lobbyist husband. The other is Director of an office of 400 people and his wife is an attorney. Granted, that last couple didn’t expect the pregnancy because she was like 47 at the time, but that kid is still young.

A man wouldn’t ask this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW is one. I’m a non-supv GS14. I have pushed back at my bosses for promotions; I do not want supervisory for tiny GS15 pay bump.

I handle much of kid related things, but my job is still not part time nor parent friendly (it’s sort of like park service, in that WFH is usually hard to do and hours can be unpredictable depending on the ground situation) If I could translate into a much higher paying job in private industry DW would quit, but my field is too niche to make that jump in any reasonable timeframe.

We have 3 kids, youngest is 3, so it’s a slog. She would demote herself but unclear how to accomplish that without lots of weirdness.

To the non-sup 14, that is a smart move. I moved up to a sup 15 and thought at one point I wanted SES, and DW was supportive, but now I’d rather step back into your role if I can figure out how to do it without the weirdness factor. The minor pay bump isn’t worth all that comes with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two. One is management with a lobbyist husband. The other is Director of an office of 400 people and his wife is an attorney. Granted, that last couple didn’t expect the pregnancy because she was like 47 at the time, but that kid is still young.

A man wouldn’t ask this.

I’m a man and would ask this - I hate sexist comments like yours.

[Anonymous]

I've thought about it and have decided i won't until at least my youngest is in K and likely older. I'm a non supervisory 15 and the pay bump into with it. I'll lean in more later.

[Anonymous]

DH became an SES 2 years ago at 36. We have a 5 and a 2 year old and I'm a non-supervisory GS14. I think we have a really good balance.

It all depends on the SES job. His is demanding, but not in a crazy way where he's working lots of extra hours. He's excellent at time management. I know others who have to put in a lot of extra time and their spouses are basically solo parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've thought about it and have decided i won't until at least my youngest is in K and likely older. I'm a non supervisory 15 and the pay bump into with it. I'll lean in more later.

You're a non-sup 15, probably an attorney - I can't fathom why you would ever want to rock that boat.

[Anonymous]

Only one posted mentioned distance learning with the kids at home, lol.

Those of you with paid help, how is that working? Are other posters who omitted details relying on family help? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only one posted mentioned distance learning with the kids at home, lol.

Those of you with paid help, how is that working? Are other posters who omitted details relying on family help? Thanks.

Our youngest is in daycare and our oldest is doing kindergarten distance learning with no paid or family help. I try to work from home as the non SES spouse but I’ve started grinding my teeth down to stumps and it’s going to take a lot for the dentist to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two. One is management with a lobbyist husband. The other is Director of an office of 400 people and his wife is an attorney. Granted, that last couple didn’t expect the pregnancy because she was like 47 at the time, but that kid is still young.

A man wouldn’t ask this.

I’m a man following this thread. I am qualified and interested in SES but concerned about pursuing an SES role because I have a toddler and a 9 year old. Why would a man not ask this?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I know several of them. They are every ambitious people who basically never stop working between being home and doing their work. Many have supportive spouses who either stay home or have less demanding occupations and who can deal with things while they’re busy. I personally think most of these people would be in a demanding job no matter where they worked so the Federal SES is still less demanding than what they’d do in Private Industry. If you aren’t that type of person, a 15 is a good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two. One is management with a lobbyist husband. The other is Director of an office of 400 people and his wife is an attorney. Granted, that last couple didn’t expect the pregnancy because she was like 47 at the time, but that kid is still young.

A man wouldn’t ask this.

I’m a man following this thread. I am qualified and interested in SES but concerned about pursuing an SES role because I have a toddler and a 9 year old. Why would a man not ask this?

You’re wrong. Many men ask this. I work in IT and most of my co-workers have been men. Several of them were the primary caregiver to their kids while their wives pursued a demanding career. That’s why they worked for the Government at all. In fact, my FIL, who retired as an SES, did exactly that same thing. He worked for the Government so his wife could travel extensively for work, for years working M-F in a different state while he dealt with my husband’s school and activities....in the 1990s too.

[Anonymous]

I googled and it looks like SES pays only $150-200k? What are the hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I googled and it looks like SES pays only $150-200k? What are the hours?

With bonus, DH usually earns in the neighborhood of $180k. I think he probably works 45 hours per week. Very regular. No weekends, very rare late nights.