Do you gossip about other kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but one of my lifelong friends has a child with very clear undiagnosed autism and I've vented to my two other closest friends that it absolutely breaks my heart they haven't gotten him evaluated.

(I work in Early Intervention)

+1

It is difficult to see parents wrapped up in their own worlds and/or having undiagnosed depression, because it comes across as laziness to the outside world sometimes. For example, if there is a problem kid at school who isn't a bad kid, but causes disruptions (can't follow directions, for the third or fourth year in a row, and parent wants their kid in class next to quiet suzy every year, that gets old and yes, disruptive). Work with your kid, and get him the help he so desperately needs.

[Anonymous]

Only to my husband-- never, ever to another parent, especially when kids are in school together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes

+1

But you’re going to get a lot of “no” answers because you used the word “gossip.” If you asked: have you ever talked about another child when he/she wasn’t there? Then you’d get more honest answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but one of my lifelong friends has a child with very clear undiagnosed autism and I've vented to my two other closest friends that it absolutely breaks my heart they haven't gotten him evaluated.

(I work in Early Intervention)

+1

It is difficult to see parents wrapped up in their own worlds and/or having undiagnosed depression, because it comes across as laziness to the outside world sometimes. For example, if there is a problem kid at school who isn't a bad kid, but causes disruptions (can't follow directions, for the third or fourth year in a row, and parent wants their kid in class next to quiet suzy every year, that gets old and yes, disruptive). Work with your kid, and get him the help he so desperately needs.

I can tell you as a parent to one of these struggling kids that we are trying. We have pushed private therapies etc, but the schools often refuse to help until things get really bad. And that is wrong for everyone, and so much harder to fix than intervening early.

Thank you to everyone who has spoken kindly or refrained from speaking of my struggling child.

[Anonymous]

Sure. Kids are people too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but one of my lifelong friends has a child with very clear undiagnosed autism and I've vented to my two other closest friends that it absolutely breaks my heart they haven't gotten him evaluated.

(I work in Early Intervention)

+1

It is difficult to see parents wrapped up in their own worlds and/or having undiagnosed depression, because it comes across as laziness to the outside world sometimes. For example, if there is a problem kid at school who isn't a bad kid, but causes disruptions (can't follow directions, for the third or fourth year in a row, and parent wants their kid in class next to quiet suzy every year, that gets old and yes, disruptive). Work with your kid, and get him the help he so desperately needs.

I can tell you as a parent to one of these struggling kids that we are trying. We have pushed private therapies etc, but the schools often refuse to help until things get really bad. And that is wrong for everyone, and so much harder to fix than intervening early.

Thank you to everyone who has spoken kindly or refrained from speaking of my struggling child.

Hugs to you. Parents are the very worst.

[Anonymous]

More like in a problem solving way with my spouse, rather than a gossiping way, and never in front of the kids.

E.g. we might have a conversation like Larla says that every day at recess, Buddy pushes her down when there teacher is not looking. What do you think we should tell her to do, or is this worth talking to the teacher?

Or have you noticed that next door neighbor kid cries every time they fall when they're playing with our kid? Do you think he's milking it for the attention, or should we pay more attention?

Kids of course bring up things that are specific about their classmates, so we don't shut that down. Instead we try to instill empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only to my spouse when the kids are not in earshot.

Same

[Anonymous]

Yes, some are psychopaths who have been bullying my child (tween girls). I’ve seen the text threads and they are horrible— eg you are ugly, go to hell, are you going to go cry to your mommy? Fake invites forwarded and the, oops, wrong chat, etc.

[Anonymous]

The only time I've ever talked to other parents about a child was when said child was physically hurting other children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Kids are people too.

+1

[Anonymous]

No, I don't. MY oldest is 10 and so far I haven't see anything that is bad enough that would prompt me to talk (bad things) about a child. The only exception is when I talked about 2 girls with my relative (but she doesn't even know them/live around me - so it was more generic "there is this girl...") And in both cases I preface by excusing them behavior in one case and by finding a possible excuse/explanation for their behavior.

[Anonymous]

No, because I have a child with special needs and know that “bad kids” usually have something else going on. It’s not my business.

[Anonymous]

I don't say negative things about kids. But if a kid on the playground is being mean or aggressive and their parent just ignores it, I will talk so much s**t about that parent later. I have a shy kid and we work really hard to build up her confidence, so it is particularly disheartening when some kid is just running wild on the playground terrifying my child to death, because I know it's just going to make my job that much harder.

But I don't blame the kids. They are just doing what they've been taught.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher. Parents attempt to gossip about kids who aren't their own to me (and to each other! I get so many parents tatting on other parents for this). There is a certain kind of bitchy mom who seems to get a charge from this. It is sickening.