Please help - 8 week old preemie twins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you all for the great advice! I quit the schedule and it seems like I actually have 2 relatively easy babies, sticking to that clock was causing increased fussing, crying and gas - I stopped last night and we had a relatively easy night, I was able to care for both as my husband is fighting a stomach bug and we can’t have him near the babies. Apparently my mother in law had offered to come stay with us but my husband never mentioned it and said we would let her know, well she’s on her way from North Carolina today. My mom I thought would be unable to help due to some health issues, but she has offered to come daily as well, I’ve taken her up on that and she’s here now holding my son. Throwing the schedule away has also reduced so much of my own stress because they’re on different schedules so it’s easy to take my time and care for one baby while the other is sleeping. Thank you again moms!

At that age the only schdule is the one the kids want to be on. Keep track of their cues and whwt works for them. Glad you're doing better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you all for the great advice! I quit the schedule and it seems like I actually have 2 relatively easy babies, sticking to that clock was causing increased fussing, crying and gas - I stopped last night and we had a relatively easy night, I was able to care for both as my husband is fighting a stomach bug and we can’t have him near the babies. Apparently my mother in law had offered to come stay with us but my husband never mentioned it and said we would let her know, well she’s on her way from North Carolina today. My mom I thought would be unable to help due to some health issues, but she has offered to come daily as well, I’ve taken her up on that and she’s here now holding my son. Throwing the schedule away has also reduced so much of my own stress because they’re on different schedules so it’s easy to take my time and care for one baby while the other is sleeping. Thank you again moms!

Thanks for the great update OP. I did not have twins but I concur with the advice to do whatever is working at that moment. My DS was a very fussy baby. If he was quiet lying on the changing pad...we stayed there. If he was content in the carseat when we arrived home. We lingered in the car. Don't worry about the long term at this moment. New babies change a ton by the day/week. He slept in that car seat alot. It worked for us. He is 20. He developed just fine. I had 2 very close together and it is triage. Someone might have to wait even if they are crying/hungry/wet. It is ok. It is also ok for you to leave the babies someplace safe and walk out of ear shot for a few minutes to catch your breath/clear your head/sip of coffee.

[Anonymous]

Glad you have family members coming. My mom, sister, stepmom, and aunt each came for about a week. Would have a week on and a week off with the help. Also if one person can get the after midnight and another the early am feeding, helped with getting sleep for all. If you are up feeding one twin in the middle of the night would get the other twin up to feed once first done. The more you can do the same thing at the same time in the same order at night before bed it helps them predict what is next and learn it is now time to go to sleep. By 4 ½ months we were able to finally do this and they learned it was time to go to sleep.

[Anonymous]

My best advice is to triage the crying like this-

If twin A is losing it screaming 10/10, and then twin B starts to fuss, immediately tend to twin B. Twin A is already as upset as they can be but two babies screaming at a 10/10 is downright overwhelming.

Babyswearing is a life changing tool. Seriously if one baby is napping pop to other in a carrier and wear them as you make yourself food or wash bottles or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Overnight newborn care 301-526-2811

[Anonymous]

Good luck op. Mine are now 19 and I remember the beginning as total triage. I never got them on a schedule either. The first couple of months I slept on an air mattress in their room bc one would wake up to be fed and as soon as I’d put one down the other would wake up. Sometimes I would wake up sitting in the glider holding a sleeping baby. It’s a miracle s/he didn’t fall out of my arms. But I, they and my husband (lol) survived. It gets better! Good luck and enjoy your babies.

[Anonymous]

I have no advice, OP, but it sound like you are doing an amazing job in a really hard situation. Sometimes all you can do is your best!

[Anonymous]

We worked with our doula from Balanced Bellies that had multiples experience. Helped a ton.

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad you're getting help, you incredible mother!! Do not feel bad at all for being overwhelmed with twins!

[Anonymous]

Invest in more gear. Baby wraps, twin feeder pillow, rockers in every room.
Money well spent if you can get one to bounce while you wear the other and watch tv for 15 min. Will rejuvenate you.
Feeder pillow so you can give them bottles at same time or as hungry.
Spend money for sanity