what to do after death

[Anonymous]

My mother died when I was 27. I don't know how a child would feel, but as a young adult, my perspective was shaped by the values my parents instilled in us - basicly that the body is just a vessel and that the spirit lives on in some form or another. My parents never made an effort to go visit family graves. My dad actually talked about donating his body to science (which my sister and I thought was pretty cool). When my mom died, she was buried in a town I only lived in for 3 years. I have never been to visit her plot - and really have no interest in doing so. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me bc of it, but I remember my mom in other ways. I think you should go with your gut and if you prefer to be cremated and sprinkled - even illegally - go for it. Could be worse - my MIL told me she doesn't care and that we could 'feed her to the dogs'...

[Anonymous]

My dad died when I was 10. He was buried about 70 miles from our home, and I barely remember going to the cemetery a couple of times as a kid. Not a big fan. I would say to do whatever you and your spouse would feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

I would like my ashes scattered along Connecticut Avenue from Bradley down to K St, so I can relive my commute in the afterlife.

It may be illegal, but I somehow doubt DC's finest will intervene to stop it - too busy stuffing their faces with donuts in the 7/11.

[Anonymous]

I think that it is easier for an adult child to feel at peace with or prefer a parent's ashes being scattered. Especially if a child is young, having a marked grave can give a touchstone of place for later in life when they are trying to understand or are coming to understand more fully. My grandfather wanted to be cremated but changed his mind for the family. Now his children and great grandchildren visit and place flowers at the grave often. It is special to have a certain place where we go and pray for his soul and think about him. People have many different experiences and feelings as voiced here, but I wanted to share my experience as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i have a friend who still holds on to her moms ashes. i helped her to move and commented on how beautiful the vase is and she told me what it was. i was so disgusted!!!

That is a horrible thing to say.

Totally agree! Why would you be disgusted??? If I were your friend I would have been disgusted by YOU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lost my father as an adult, so take this FWIW. He was cremated and his ashes were scattered in a body of water. I frequently drive by this body of water - way more frequently than I would visit a cemetery plot - and I always think of dad when I do.

I take a lot of comfort in knowing that we did exactly what dad wanted with his remains - that he didn't make his decision based on what he thought we wanted, but what he wanted.

Same with my dad. I have relatives buried in cemeteries that I have never visited b/c I hate cemeteries. I plan to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled somewhere.

[Anonymous]

To the one that was disgusted. I know you want people to be sensitive to your beliefs. But really, it DOES go both ways. Think about what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i have a friend who still holds on to her moms ashes. i helped her to move and commented on how beautiful the vase is and she told me what it was. i was so disgusted!!!

That is a horrible thing to say.

Totally agree! Why would you be disgusted??? If I were your friend I would have been disgusted by YOU!

I agree. What a total bitch.

My father is very ill and has indicated he would like to be cremated. Honestly, the world would be a better place if people like this poster would just shut the f*ck up.