Name change at 10 months

[Anonymous]

If you just want to call her by her middle name, go ahead and do it it’s done all the time. If you want to legally changed her name now that she’s a baby is the time to do it because she’s till a baby. Either way right now is the perfect time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a female that uses my middle name. It is much harder for people to accept for a female than a male. I wish my parents would have legally reversed my name as a child and I’m strongly considering the process myself if I get remarried.

I’m the pp who posted about her mom. I agree with you about changing it legally. I kinda wonder if the people saying to not bother have any personal experience with someone going exclusively by their middle name.

I just read your post and my mother also went by her middle name. On her gravestone, the funeral home wanted to put: L. “Jeanne” Lastname. There were other things that somehow came out to say “Jean L Lastname” or “J. Leona Lastname”. I have a PhD and am published and speak at conferences. I’ve seen my name listed all sorts of backward ways.

OP, as this is a female child, I really would push you to legally change. At minimum, look into listing her full name as her first name and not doing the First Name, Middle Initial route.

[Anonymous]

I have to be honest (this is OP) I'm baffled as to why this would be a larger problem for a woman than a man. Can any of you elaborate on that? I understand some things might be a little more annoying over the course of her life from a paperwork perspective for sure. But I don't understand the gender issue at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a female that uses my middle name. It is much harder for people to accept for a female than a male. I wish my parents would have legally reversed my name as a child and I’m strongly considering the process myself if I get remarried.

Yes this! Although for women it's easier to change your name when you get married. I knew a few Mary Margarets/ Mary Katherines who got rid of the Mary when they changed their last name too.

My son and daughter go by nicknames. Probably 100% of the time people call my son by his nickname when he introduces himself that way, my daughter only 20%. It's strange that people just WANT to nickname boys names, but not always girls. For instance a Bob never gets called a Robert.

[Anonymous]

OP, from a developmental point of view, I would start calling her by her first and middle name (Allison Jane) then slowly start calling her just by the middle name so she gets used to it.

[Anonymous]

My nephew was called by his middle name for the first year and then his mom started calling him by his first name. He had know problem responding to both names. By the time he was two she had everyone calling him by his first name.

[Anonymous]

If you change the name legally please document everything carefully and get multiple copies of the old birth certificate, new birth certificate and the court papers or it is a pain later if she needs a security clearance, passport or decides to change her citizenship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you change the name legally please document everything carefully and get multiple copies of the old birth certificate, new birth certificate and the court papers or it is a pain later if she needs a security clearance, passport or decides to change her citizenship.

Also get a new social security card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a female that uses my middle name. It is much harder for people to accept for a female than a male. I wish my parents would have legally reversed my name as a child and I’m strongly considering the process myself if I get remarried.

I’m the pp who posted about her mom. I agree with you about changing it legally. I kinda wonder if the people saying to not bother have any personal experience with someone going exclusively by their middle name.

My son goes by his middle name, and my dad has his whole life too. In fact, both of them go by nicknames of their middle name. I go by a nickname of my first name, including professionally. People easily live with this kind of stuff. I think a legal name change is certainly a choice you can make but the headache of going by a different name is truly minimal IMO, and very common.

[Anonymous]

I've gone by my middle name my whole life. I love that it's different than my "legal first name." Never been an issue. My husband uses his middle (he's a junior), and one of our kids does too. If it were me, I wouldn't change it legally, just call her by the middle name. But you could change it and have a funny story for later. My concern would be anything that needs prior names. But that seems minimal. Either way is ok, but go ahead and call her the name you want. No shame in correcting your innocent mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to be honest (this is OP) I'm baffled as to why this would be a larger problem for a woman than a man. Can any of you elaborate on that? I understand some things might be a little more annoying over the course of her life from a paperwork perspective for sure. But I don't understand the gender issue at all.

Societal norms. Males are more likely to carry a family name, which is why we have Jr/Sr/III/etc for men. You don't hear women being called Jr or Sr even though many of us share a name with a parent or grandparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a female that uses my middle name. It is much harder for people to accept for a female than a male. I wish my parents would have legally reversed my name as a child and I’m strongly considering the process myself if I get remarried.

I don't understand this. Accept how? I am a female and I go by my middle name. I never had anyone question my decision. It's not like I tell people my name is Larla Mary, but please call me Mary and people go like "Oh I am not sure, since your first name is Larla, I think I am going to call you Larla." I never considered changing my legal name, both names are family names, I just go by my middle name. 10 months is definitely not too late, OP!

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Her name is already a bit complicated, BECAUSE of all this.

Just for example sake I wanted to name her (not real names) Mary Ann Smith. I was very attached to the Mary though because its a recently deceased relative's name and wanted it and the Ann was also a family name so we went with Alice Mary Ann Smith. So its kind of a mess.

It feels like changing it entire would be rewriting her history a bit but her name flows significantly less well that her siblings does as a result of this as well.

The name, BTW, is Wendy not like, Bertha or anything super awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Her name is already a bit complicated, BECAUSE of all this.

Just for example sake I wanted to name her (not real names) Mary Ann Smith. I was very attached to the Mary though because its a recently deceased relative's name and wanted it and the Ann was also a family name so we went with Alice Mary Ann Smith. So its kind of a mess.

It feels like changing it entire would be rewriting her history a bit but her name flows significantly less well that her siblings does as a result of this as well.

The name, BTW, is Wendy not like, Bertha or anything super awful.

Don't worry about flow or matching with her sibling. Only change it if you are absolutely 100% sure you want the other name as her first name.

[Anonymous]

My parents changed my name when I was a baby, and I say go for it!!

It's a very minor inconvenience that I have to have both my birth certificate and the affidavit once every 5-10 years when I got my driver's license, when I got my first passport, when I've moved and got a new driver's license, etc., but I keep them together, so it's fine.