The best way to approach teen about a speech impediment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

Something doesn’t have to be crippling for a person to internalize complicated feelings about why they didn’t receive help on their timeline. My younger sister didn’t tell my parents until she was an adult that she deeply struggled with self-image over her teeth, and always wondered why they had paid for braces for me and not for her. My teeth needed severe correction- hers only would have been aesthetic. They were genuinely surprised as they recalled how much she made fun of me when I had braces. When she mentioned it they realized how she felt neglected, which was never their intent.
It’s okay to downplay the lisp, but please don’t downplay the potential that your inaction may already be hurting her. It’s worth it to check in with her sooner rather than later.

OP here. Thanks and I agree. I certainly want to be sensitive to that if it’s an issue. I’m not sure she’s even aware of the lisp part. When we talked before it was about not mumbling and being generally more precise in her diction. We’ve never used the word lisp and that’s what I’m trying to figure out how to discuss without making her feel bad. I think it’s worth asking a therapist about the best way to discuss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

[Anonymous]

*some kids have quirks of speaking

[Anonymous]

I could have written your post. my dd, 13, has a very slight lisp that makes her sound very young. we honestly couldn't put our finger on why she sounded immature compared to her peers and then I realized it is most likely a lisp.
not too long ago she mentioned she didn't like the way her voice sounded like a baby and I told her that speech therapy can help her and she was very offended that I didn't push back. it is so minor that i didn't push her because I thought her voice would mature. It hasn't. I wish I had advice but my approach didn't work.
i didn't realize this would not be correctable as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks for starting my day with a belly laugh. Do you really believe that the school system and pediatricians are set up like this? What planet/state/city do you live in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks for starting my day with a belly laugh. Do you really believe that the school system and pediatricians are set up like this? What planet/state/city do you live in?

Our public school has a full time speech therapist and teachers refer kids for an evaluation and parents can request evaluations. I know many kids who got speech therapy at school. Likewise pediatricians catch speech issues (they are part of the annual well child visit) and send kids to speech therapy that insurance can pay for. These things are true and I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with schools and pediatricians. I have friends and family members whose kids were treated at school and treated through early intervention and treated under their health insurance.

I was stating those things because op felt people were thinking her dd's speech issues are more severe, so I was pointing out that they clearly aren't too severe or her dd would have been flagged by other people, but hat doesn't mean she should not post for advice in the children with special needs forum.

There is a wide range of posters on that board with a lot of experiences. I think op thinks it only kids in wheel chairs or with intellectual disabilities.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs. Can you ask Jeff to move this to the children with special needs forum? Regardless of your current assessment of the severity of the situation many of the parents in the special needs forum have become experts in advocating through the insurance, and medical maze. They may be your best guides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs. Can you ask Jeff to move this to the children with special needs forum? Regardless of your current assessment of the severity of the situation many of the parents in the special needs forum have become experts in advocating through the insurance, and medical maze. They may be your best guides.

Also we have had to navigate getting our kids help without causing mental health stress.

[Anonymous]

I would just blame it on the braces and say "now that the braces are off, you're going to have to have a few sessions with a speech therapist." Make it very matter-of-fact.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks again everyone. Actually, I didn't think that the special needs forum was only for more pronounced or severe things. I just picked this board because of the teen self-esteem aspect of all this and because this board feels more active. I'll confess-- I was probably a little defensive after getting advice both that we would make her feel terrible if we mention it and that she might resent us forever for ignoring some really obvious thing that we should have addressed. It is not so pronounced that any doctor, teacher, or family member has ever mentioned it to us. (And I really appreciate the PP who pointed that out. It makes me feel better or at least less foolish or neglectful for not focusing on it before.) We have just one child and no experience and, as I said, we thought it was something that would disappear with time and maturity. I have posted something on the special needs forum now. Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks for starting my day with a belly laugh. Do you really believe that the school system and pediatricians are set up like this? What planet/state/city do you live in?

Our public school has a full time speech therapist and teachers refer kids for an evaluation and parents can request evaluations. I know many kids who got speech therapy at school. Likewise pediatricians catch speech issues (they are part of the annual well child visit) and send kids to speech therapy that insurance can pay for. These things are true and I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with schools and pediatricians. I have friends and family members whose kids were treated at school and treated through early intervention and treated under their health insurance.

I was stating those things because op felt people were thinking her dd's speech issues are more severe, so I was pointing out that they clearly aren't too severe or her dd would have been flagged by other people, but hat doesn't mean she should not post for advice in the children with special needs forum.

There is a wide range of posters on that board with a lot of experiences. I think op thinks it only kids in wheel chairs or with intellectual disabilities.

+1 to the Belly Laugh! My kids are in HS now but have always gone to an FCPS school that had an SLP - did you know that most SLPs are assigned to more than one school? Two of my kids have IEPs and we have had to battle nearly every single year to bet anything more than de minimis speech services. The bar is: Is the child intelligble and is there any educational impact? Even when you can say 'yes' to both and have well documented needs, you still may be SOL. I couldn't even get services through the school for my typical DD who had a lisp well into 4th grade. Insurance wouldn't cover it either. It was all out of pocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks for starting my day with a belly laugh. Do you really believe that the school system and pediatricians are set up like this? What planet/state/city do you live in?

Our public school has a full time speech therapist and teachers refer kids for an evaluation and parents can request evaluations. I know many kids who got speech therapy at school. Likewise pediatricians catch speech issues (they are part of the annual well child visit) and send kids to speech therapy that insurance can pay for. These things are true and I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with schools and pediatricians. I have friends and family members whose kids were treated at school and treated through early intervention and treated under their health insurance.

I was stating those things because op felt people were thinking her dd's speech issues are more severe, so I was pointing out that they clearly aren't too severe or her dd would have been flagged by other people, but hat doesn't mean she should not post for advice in the children with special needs forum.

There is a wide range of posters on that board with a lot of experiences. I think op thinks it only kids in wheel chairs or with intellectual disabilities.

Most public schools are not going to help with that. OP needs to go to a private SLP. They don't even help with more serous issues. My child had a serious language issue and the public school support was a joke.

Many of us private pay for speech services. Insurance doesn't cover it or only with a fight. Something like this is rarely covered.

The longer you wait, the harder it is to fix. OP should have handled this much earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Now I fear that I overstated the problem. (I get the irony in a post about articulation.) Based on my research it sounds like a bilateral lisp and the mush mouth is more like the extra saliva that appears when she speaks quickly. It mostly makes her speech sound more juvenile than it might otherwise sound. It's certainly not crippling. I think my guilt at assuming it would go away went into overdrive.

If it were a really severe problem for her age, the school would have done ST therapy for free and/or your ped would have caught it and insurance would have paid.

However there is a gap between what is noticeable and what gets caught and paid for by insurance or the school district.

I think you just at say kids have quirks if speaking and some are outgrown and some are not, and now that her braces are off it seems she hasn't outgrown it so you want to get it checked out.

Hahahahahahaha

Thanks for starting my day with a belly laugh. Do you really believe that the school system and pediatricians are set up like this? What planet/state/city do you live in?

Our public school has a full time speech therapist and teachers refer kids for an evaluation and parents can request evaluations. I know many kids who got speech therapy at school. Likewise pediatricians catch speech issues (they are part of the annual well child visit) and send kids to speech therapy that insurance can pay for. These things are true and I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with schools and pediatricians. I have friends and family members whose kids were treated at school and treated through early intervention and treated under their health insurance.

I was stating those things because op felt people were thinking her dd's speech issues are more severe, so I was pointing out that they clearly aren't too severe or her dd would have been flagged by other people, but hat doesn't mean she should not post for advice in the children with special needs forum.

There is a wide range of posters on that board with a lot of experiences. I think op thinks it only kids in wheel chairs or with intellectual disabilities.

+1 to the Belly Laugh! My kids are in HS now but have always gone to an FCPS school that had an SLP - did you know that most SLPs are assigned to more than one school? Two of my kids have IEPs and we have had to battle nearly every single year to bet anything more than de minimis speech services. The bar is: Is the child intelligble and is there any educational impact? Even when you can say 'yes' to both and have well documented needs, you still may be SOL. I couldn't even get services through the school for my typical DD who had a lisp well into 4th grade. Insurance wouldn't cover it either. It was all out of pocket.

I am sorry that happened to you and your child. It is a travesty that services are not more standard across the US. It is wrong that you had to fight so hard for that. As I stated our school (400 students) had a full time ST. Some districts are better for services than others.

[Anonymous]

I think your first step is to ask her if she thinks it is a problem.

In all likelihood it doesn't bother her so then you won't have to do anything. The last thing you want to do is tell a 14 year old girl she has a superficial problem (as in not impacting her health in the least bit) that bugs you and you want her to have it fixed. Um no.

(That was me channeling my internal 14 year old self)

[Anonymous]

I think you would be the doing the right thing taking her to a slp. I'm 52 with a total mush mouth and can't say an s without a hissing sound. I've always tried to remind myself to speak clearly. It gets worse when I'm tired or feeling insecure. Over the years I've thought about going to a speech therapist, but haven't gotten to the point where I've wanted to take the time or spend the money. It bothered me more when I was younger and working hard on my career. I have a 15 yo ds and was concerned about letting him know he needed to see a derm for acne, but we treated it like any other medical thing he's had to do, like braces, allergist, etc., and I'm glad we did. He wouldn't have gone if it had been 100% up to him.