Wife driving me nuts

[Anonymous]

Do you have twins? Two toddlers can be very stressful. I started taking anti-anxiety meds my doc prescribed. It helps take the edge off. I take half the dose. Normally I never take meds, but covid has driven me over the edge. The med's name is Escitalopram; look into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have twins? Two toddlers can be very stressful. I started taking anti-anxiety meds my doc prescribed. It helps take the edge off. I take half the dose. Normally I never take meds, but covid has driven me over the edge. The med's name is Escitalopram; look into it.

I was really trying to steer away from the meds but I just might need this. Mom of 2 toddlers here and I'm not sure if it's a male/female thing but my husband isn't bothered by the crying and tantrums at all. It doesn't help that they usually want me in that moment. I have no advice since you offering to step in is usually shot down. Personally I ask my husband for help when I can't take it anymore.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like she’s got some kind of physiological trigger to the tantrum. I have a reaction to my youngest screaming that puts every nerve in my body on edge. I cannot control it. It’s really hard for me to calm down and not snap because it’s physically painful and I have a fight or flight reaction to it. Medicating my depression helps but I also have misophonia which makes everything harder and people don’t know much about it. I think CBT is supposed to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys need therapy. First find a good child psychologist and see him/her without the kids. Get on exactly the same page with each other on how to parent your kids. A blueprint you both agree to is honestly the only answer.

It only gets harder, OP. You must be a united front.

It's not that we don't agree. It's just the plan seems to go out the window as soon as the crying starts.

Parenting class.

Sitter come over.

More sleep.

Exercise.

Moms group online.

If that dies t work individual therapy, maybe couples therapy if this is minor and not pervasive everywhere in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have twins? Two toddlers can be very stressful. I started taking anti-anxiety meds my doc prescribed. It helps take the edge off. I take half the dose. Normally I never take meds, but covid has driven me over the edge. The med's name is Escitalopram; look into it.

Op here. Yes, we have twins. I started taking anti-anxiety meds when it was getting too much for me. I think it has helped a bit, but it's hard to tell. As you said, twin toddlers are very stressful, particularly when you lose much of your support network.

[Anonymous]

As a mom of a 1 3 and 4 year old - these are really hard years. I do tend ti melt down from midnight wakeups

Your wife would probably benefit from an in house parenting coach.

[Anonymous]

And what are you doing to step in and help?

[Anonymous]

+20.

[Anonymous]

Are you both working?

Could you both take one week off to reset? Where are you when this stuff is happening? Or is she a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you both working?

Could you both take one week off to reset? Where are you when this stuff is happening? Or is she a SAHM?

We both work. I have the more flexible job, so I handle daycare pickups/drop-offs, sick days, doctors appointments, etc. It's difficult for her to take time off, so basically taking a week off isn't really an option until the very end of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you both working?

Could you both take one week off to reset? Where are you when this stuff is happening? Or is she a SAHM?

We both work. I have the more flexible job, so I handle daycare pickups/drop-offs, sick days, doctors appointments, etc. It's difficult for her to take time off, so basically taking a week off isn't really an option until the very end of the year.

Wait they are going to daycare and she is still like this? Even with an involved spouse? Hmmm, I agree that might require some medical help.

[Anonymous]

I know if I'm not sleeping well, I am very short-tempered the next day.
Make sure she's getting undisturbed, good night sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know if I'm not sleeping well, I am very short-tempered the next day.
Make sure she's getting undisturbed, good night sleep.

I do think a lot of it is exhaustion. But sleep isn't really the problem. They almost always sleep through the night. But it doesn't matter how much sleep either of us get- it's still tiring to deal with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have twins? Two toddlers can be very stressful. I started taking anti-anxiety meds my doc prescribed. It helps take the edge off. I take half the dose. Normally I never take meds, but covid has driven me over the edge. The med's name is Escitalopram; look into it.

Op here. Yes, we have twins. I started taking anti-anxiety meds when it was getting too much for me. I think it has helped a bit, but it's hard to tell. As you said, twin toddlers are very stressful, particularly when you lose much of your support network.

.

This is the PP; yeap I have twin boys and am a single Mom. As I said, I never take meds, but the rules change during covid. It helps me to be calmer and not blow up and scream all the time.