Having trouble deciding whether to continue with the divorce process- could you share your story?

[Anonymous]

We separated for about a year, both did individual therapy, and reconciled. It’s worked out well.

If we had stayed together, things would have gotten really bad, and reconciling never would have worked if we didn’t do therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We separated, I moved out with the kids, my ex and I didn't talk except via notes passed via the kids, and after about four months I stupidly thought "This is great - we're getting along SO Much better!" because we'd manage to wave to each other or mumble "Hi" and our kids gleefully told us we hadn't yelled at each other in months.

Then we realized we were getting along because we didn't have to deal with each other all day every day. We got divorced. We each live separately happily ever after. We're good friends now. Our kids have each told us separately we're much better as friends, which alleviated the tiny bit of doubt I had about ruining their lives. When I remarried after about a year my daughter said, "OH! So THIS is what fighting is supposed to be like? You just go back and forth and then one person says "Sounds like that's really important to you, so let's do it" and then that's IT?"

You remarried within a year? You were already seeing him I assume...

That's a little different.

I think she means about a year after she re-married. NOT that she re-married within a year. Way to make assumptions.

Yes, that. I was not seeing anyone when I separated, and did not date until after I was divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We separated, I moved out with the kids, my ex and I didn't talk except via notes passed via the kids, and after about four months I stupidly thought "This is great - we're getting along SO Much better!" because we'd manage to wave to each other or mumble "Hi" and our kids gleefully told us we hadn't yelled at each other in months.

Then we realized we were getting along because we didn't have to deal with each other all day every day. We got divorced. We each live separately happily ever after. We're good friends now. Our kids have each told us separately we're much better as friends, which alleviated the tiny bit of doubt I had about ruining their lives. When I remarried after about a year my daughter said, "OH! So THIS is what fighting is supposed to be like? You just go back and forth and then one person says "Sounds like that's really important to you, so let's do it" and then that's IT?"

Whoa, you remarried very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We separated, I moved out with the kids, my ex and I didn't talk except via notes passed via the kids, and after about four months I stupidly thought "This is great - we're getting along SO Much better!" because we'd manage to wave to each other or mumble "Hi" and our kids gleefully told us we hadn't yelled at each other in months.

Then we realized we were getting along because we didn't have to deal with each other all day every day. We got divorced. We each live separately happily ever after. We're good friends now. Our kids have each told us separately we're much better as friends, which alleviated the tiny bit of doubt I had about ruining their lives. When I remarried after about a year my daughter said, "OH! So THIS is what fighting is supposed to be like? You just go back and forth and then one person says "Sounds like that's really important to you, so let's do it" and then that's IT?"

You remarried within a year? You were already seeing him I assume...

That's a little different.

I think she means about a year after she re-married. NOT that she re-married within a year. Way to make assumptions.

Yes, that. I was not seeing anyone when I separated, and did not date until after I was divorced.

Yes, but you remarried a year after you divorced, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We separated, I moved out with the kids, my ex and I didn't talk except via notes passed via the kids, and after about four months I stupidly thought "This is great - we're getting along SO Much better!" because we'd manage to wave to each other or mumble "Hi" and our kids gleefully told us we hadn't yelled at each other in months.

Then we realized we were getting along because we didn't have to deal with each other all day every day. We got divorced. We each live separately happily ever after. We're good friends now. Our kids have each told us separately we're much better as friends, which alleviated the tiny bit of doubt I had about ruining their lives. When I remarried after about a year my daughter said, "OH! So THIS is what fighting is supposed to be like? You just go back and forth and then one person says "Sounds like that's really important to you, so let's do it" and then that's IT?"

You remarried within a year? You were already seeing him I assume...

That's a little different.

I think she means about a year after she re-married. NOT that she re-married within a year. Way to make assumptions.

Yes, that. I was not seeing anyone when I separated, and did not date until after I was divorced.

Yes, but you remarried a year after you divorced, right?

PP here. Or maybe you forgot to add a comma and you meant that your daughter noticed these things about a year into your second marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We separated, I moved out with the kids, my ex and I didn't talk except via notes passed via the kids, and after about four months I stupidly thought "This is great - we're getting along SO Much better!" because we'd manage to wave to each other or mumble "Hi" and our kids gleefully told us we hadn't yelled at each other in months.

Then we realized we were getting along because we didn't have to deal with each other all day every day. We got divorced. We each live separately happily ever after. We're good friends now. Our kids have each told us separately we're much better as friends, which alleviated the tiny bit of doubt I had about ruining their lives. When I remarried after about a year my daughter said, "OH! So THIS is what fighting is supposed to be like? You just go back and forth and then one person says "Sounds like that's really important to you, so let's do it" and then that's IT?"

You remarried within a year? You were already seeing him I assume...

That's a little different.

I think she means about a year after she re-married. NOT that she re-married within a year. Way to make assumptions.

Yes, that. I was not seeing anyone when I separated, and did not date until after I was divorced.

Yes, but you remarried a year after you divorced, right?

PP here. Or maybe you forgot to add a comma and you meant that your daughter noticed these things about a year into your second marriage.

She already clarified, in the text you quoted, that she meant a year into her 2nd marriage.