Waiting for K in Fairfax County

[Anonymous]

15:14 poster here. I also wanted to add that I have asked both my son's kinder and first grade teachers about their opinion on this matter. One said that she can walk into the classroom and pick out the youngest kids, who may have difficulty making decisions during free time or are not the leaders of the class. The other teacher admitted to me that she thinks SHE should have been held back because of her maturity level and poor choices she made in high school and college. She stated that her brother and sister were almost a year older entering school and were much more successful socially and academically. As an aside I wasn't too excited to hear that my son's teacher took years and years to graduate college due to indecision and partying but I did appreciate her candor...

[Anonymous]

My son has an August birthday and will be sent to school on time this fall. I can tell you that looking at him on the tee ball field this spring, he is much more mature and has a lot more self control than his "older peers" who have birthdays in Jan-June. He is also above average in height (which is another factor I hear a lot on these boards) but more like 75% for height.

Honestly, I think if your kid is ready and makes the cut off then you should send him. And the only people making the readiness decision should be the parents, current preschool teachers and future teachers who have actually readiness tested your child (not someone looking at his info on a piece of paper).

[Anonymous]

I think it is a very personal decision as well. my son has Sep. birthday. he was the youngest in most of his classes. but for the past semester, I heard that the girl in his class has Dec. birthday (same year). and both this girl and my son got accepted to AAP center starting 3rd grade this Sep. also, it would be helpful if your kid is physically ready for being the youngest in his/her class. my son and that girl (with Dec. birthday) are among the tallest ones in their class.
but in the end, as a parent, I think as long as they are ready it is ok to be the younger ones in class; in the same token, it should not matter too much if they are held back for another year if extra time could result in more readiness.

[Anonymous]

(cont.) also please ask the teachers as they will give you very objective opinions in terms of kid's readiness. I had asked pre-school teacher before I made the decision for my son. at that time, I was not sure. but she told me that my son was more than ready!

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone who advises making an individual, personal decision for each child. We considered a gift-of-time year for our summer b-day son (who just finished kinder at FCPS) but ended up sending him on time. He was ready socially and academically, and is also one of the tallest kids in the class, and all of these factors played into our decision. There was a huge range of ages in his class. Some kids are just now turning 6 and several turned 7 before school even let out. Do think about the social consequences in HS, when your child will be the last to get her/his driver's license, etc., but make the decision based on your observation today (my two cents). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My child is turning five at the end of July and he's going to kinder in FCPS. His preschool teacher was sure he was ready. He's small for his age (which means he's even smaller when compared to kids with Dec. bdays), but he can manage sitting and thinking/learning in a group and he is actually reading at a beginning first grade level (mostly b/c his older sister has just finished first grade and we've been working on her reading all year). He is actually better at math than his rising-second-grade sister. So, I don't think he's going to get much academically out of kindergarten.

However, he'll have to learn to be more independent in managing his lunch and he'll probably have some challenges with staying focussed on his work (he gets distracted by the older boys).

He may always be more of a follower -- in part b/c he'll be one of the youngest and in part b/c he's used to his older sister telling him what to do. But, that alone is not enough reason for us to hold him back. I really trust the evaluation of the preschool teachers -- they see a wide range of kids and they are in a good position to compare. On the other hand, there was another boy in my son's preschool class who is a June bday and the teachers said to hold him back.... you can really see that his thought process and speech are less mature. So, it's not exclusively about the birthdate or birthmonth... it's more about how they relate in a classroom setting.

As for worrying about how my child will be in high school... we'll cross that bridge when he gets there. All kids have challenges. Right now, I'm making the decision on what is best for him as he is today... and in that assessment, I see that he is ready for kindergarten. If we think he's not ready for a far away college when he's just turned 18, he can go to a local college. There are options for kids at that age too.

[Anonymous]

I think something else that factors in is which county and which school. I find there is a big difference beween the expectations of kids in K where we used to live and the expectation where we live now. It seems like even if a kid tests out average for certain skills, they are considered below average since the teachers are used to dealing with a classroom of kids where probably 75% are above average for the nation. I don't need my child to be a top student, but I want my child to feel positive about school.

I think the social issue is important. This is the only time when it is easy and common to hold a child back. It's rarely a big deal to the child whereas a child who needs to be retained later on often feels the impact. Middle school comes sooner than you think and the social pressures socially are much different than what I ever faced. Kids are experimenting with drugs and alcohol earlier and are getting to "bases" I didn't even know existed when I was that age. I think the more maturity a kid has by then the better. Would I hold back a kid who is young for the year, but is socially ready and academically ready? No, but most parents I encounter are not basing their decisions solely on age.

Good luck whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

another insight from my own parenting experience is that dont ever under-estimate your young kids' analyzing skills. so talk to them, argue with them and acknowledge it when YOU are wrong. by debating and arguing (friendly), you will be amazed at how much you kids will listen to your points and follow you guidance as long as those points make sense and you present a persuasive argument. my son actually learns from our debate and a lot of times uses those debating skills against me -- I love it. they will figure out and follow and love you back, if what you suggest are presented with your heart and mind and are benefiting them.