Teenagers and Elderly parents can be their own special kind of torture

[Anonymous]

Be nice.

You were one and you will be one. Thus, 2/3s of your life is devoted to being your own special kind of torture for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be nice.

You were one and you will be one. Thus, 2/3s of your life is devoted to being your own special kind of torture for others.

Sorry, but I find these posts condescending and useless and too often it's people who aren't the ones making endless sacrifices for their elderly parents who like to pontificate and urge people to "be nice" or "be best." I deal with elder tantrums and horrendously obnoxious behavior with a sibling is useless but likes to give the same BS advice you are giving. Message boards are a place to vent. I went to a therapist who specializes in eldercare and she said there is a special place in "heck" for people who do anything to make caregivers feel worse. Here's an idea, if you can't be nice and allow people to have their feelings and vent their stress, than the nice thing to do is find another thread. Nobody needs your lectures and guilt trips. May you never have to deal with an incredible difficult and elderly parent, but if you did, perhaps you would learn to have empathy and stop judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be nice.

You were one and you will be one. Thus, 2/3s of your life is devoted to being your own special kind of torture for others.

Be less patronizing.

It is objectively hard to be caught in the sandwich situation. It's backed by statistics that middle age is a time of least happiness for people in general and this is the prime reason.

The seniors today have longer life expectancy than their parents, which often means more physical and memory health issues than the previous generations.

OP and PPs who struggle with this stage of their lives should be able to vent here without people getting all preachy and sanctimonious on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be nice.

You were one and you will be one. Thus, 2/3s of your life is devoted to being your own special kind of torture for others.

Be less patronizing.

It is objectively hard to be caught in the sandwich situation. It's backed by statistics that middle age is a time of least happiness for people in general and this is the prime reason.

The seniors today have longer life expectancy than their parents, which often means more physical and memory health issues than the previous generations.

OP and PPs who struggle with this stage of their lives should be able to vent here without people getting all preachy and sanctimonious on them.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother is losing it and talking to her is like talking a teen in some ways. She and her friends are all very melodramatic about things. She informed me her friend's kids had the nerve take away her car due to Covid to make sure she does social distancing and how cruel that is. I know the kids. They took away her keys and car because she is a danger on the road and could kills someone. I gently explained this to my mother who insists her friend is being tortured by the adult kids (who are lovely people).

She gets into fights with store clerks, receptionists, nurses, you name it and it is always, always their fault. She was screened for dementia is supposedly fine and she got a checkup recently. She has lost her ability to see another person's point of view.

She tells stories of mean, awful adult children who put her friends in assisted living and memory care. They chose beautiful facilities and it was a well thought out plan for the safety of their elderly loved ones.

She then tells of the saint who moved her mother in. That mother has been a free nanny on and off to them over the years and she is again living with them-takes care of grandkids, cooks meals and CLEANS! She is also her daughter's best friend and personal therapist. Who wouldn't want that situation in your house as opposed to somone who is always angry, refuses to take anti-anxiety meds and who threatens to ruin your life if you ever take her car keys.

Do these traits pre-date your mom’s aging? Or did she totally change with age?