Has anyone had success in using a matchmaker service to find their spouse?

[Anonymous]

I once reached out to join the database of one of the very legitimate matchmakers in the area. Apparently she liked me because she emailed me the next day, met me for coffee to get to know me, then started setting me up on dates with her clients. She was in constant communication with me and said she really wanted to find me someone great. She was running a very legitimate business, was very good at it, and very kind. I went on 3-4 dates with clients of hers, but ultimately backed away as I've learned over time I'm not sure I want to be married and do the family thing like I once thought I did. Her clients were good, decent, successful men. I also felt safe and I could tell she provided those that paid her excellent service and usually always ultimately ended up finding her clients a match. From talking to her, it does sound like she has a much easier time matching her male clients than female, but does have success with female clients as well...it just seemed to take a little more time. If you are willing to pay for it and a very serious about wanting to find someone, I would recommend it. But from what I understand, its a pricey endeavor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once reached out to join the database of one of the very legitimate matchmakers in the area. Apparently she liked me because she emailed me the next day, met me for coffee to get to know me, then started setting me up on dates with her clients. She was in constant communication with me and said she really wanted to find me someone great. She was running a very legitimate business, was very good at it, and very kind. I went on 3-4 dates with clients of hers, but ultimately backed away as I've learned over time I'm not sure I want to be married and do the family thing like I once thought I did. Her clients were good, decent, successful men. I also felt safe and I could tell she provided those that paid her excellent service and usually always ultimately ended up finding her clients a match. From talking to her, it does sound like she has a much easier time matching her male clients than female, but does have success with female clients as well...it just seemed to take a little more time. If you are willing to pay for it and a very serious about wanting to find someone, I would recommend it. But from what I understand, its a pricey endeavor.

What's the name of the service?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago, a couple of my single friends and I decided to sign up for "It's Just Lunch."

Biggest waste of time and money ever. None of us wound up meeting anyone even remotely worth consideration. I had one date where the guy showed up high on something, made a few hostile and critical remarks to me, then left the table and began flirting with a waitress. I threw some money down on the table and left.

When I called up the service and told them they didn't seem to be overly concerned. I'm sure they probably tried to match him with someone else.

Was that one of the services when only the guys pay? Reminds me of the stories that came out later about a bunch of speed dating services where the guys paid and the business model was all about keeping them signing up — even to the point of bringing in girls who weren’t really available. Just saying it’s probably worth understanding the fee structure of both sides to get some idea of whether you think it would draw the type you are interested in.

No we (women) paid too. We got the most basic option available and it was still several hundreds of dollars.

We were thoroughly disgusted with the so-called service from IJL. It was a complete rip-off since they didn't even remotely think about matching based on any criteria we requested. It was like they just threw names in a hat and picked a couple of them out. Even physical attributes.

One friend was tall so she reasonably asked that men be at least 5'9" (which was still shorter than her.) IJL sent her on a date to meet a guy who was barely 5' tall and very small statured. She felt very awkward because he was a nice guy but the height/size difference was something she told service she did not want. Plus he was younger. She felt like she was on a date with a high school kid.

But I will say that we got YEARS of good laughs out of the experience after the disappointment faded. The so-called matches were THAT bad. Now that on-line dating services are more available I'd advise others to do that before dropping any dime on a service. FWIW we (women) all wound up meeting others and getting married.

It was an expensive, although somewhat humorous, lesson learned. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone though.

Oh, I just remembered another one of my matches! He was extremely awkward, uncommunicative and literally couldn't string ten words together. He also had a huge wart (pea-sized) hanging off the tip of his nose. That also made it difficult to try and focus on a conversation since I couldn't help but look at it while I waited, futilely, for a response - any kind of response - from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once reached out to join the database of one of the very legitimate matchmakers in the area. Apparently she liked me because she emailed me the next day, met me for coffee to get to know me, then started setting me up on dates with her clients. She was in constant communication with me and said she really wanted to find me someone great. She was running a very legitimate business, was very good at it, and very kind. I went on 3-4 dates with clients of hers, but ultimately backed away as I've learned over time I'm not sure I want to be married and do the family thing like I once thought I did. Her clients were good, decent, successful men. I also felt safe and I could tell she provided those that paid her excellent service and usually always ultimately ended up finding her clients a match. From talking to her, it does sound like she has a much easier time matching her male clients than female, but does have success with female clients as well...it just seemed to take a little more time. If you are willing to pay for it and a very serious about wanting to find someone, I would recommend it. But from what I understand, its a pricey endeavor.

What's the name of the service?

DC Matchmaking...Michelle Jacoby. She's a bit Millionaire Matchmaker like, but I found her absolutely delightful and it was a good experience overall if you are very serious about wanting to meet someone. I know she's very pricey if you actually want to be a client with her actively matching you. I somehow just stumbled in to the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once reached out to join the database of one of the very legitimate matchmakers in the area. Apparently she liked me because she emailed me the next day, met me for coffee to get to know me, then started setting me up on dates with her clients. She was in constant communication with me and said she really wanted to find me someone great. She was running a very legitimate business, was very good at it, and very kind. I went on 3-4 dates with clients of hers, but ultimately backed away as I've learned over time I'm not sure I want to be married and do the family thing like I once thought I did. Her clients were good, decent, successful men. I also felt safe and I could tell she provided those that paid her excellent service and usually always ultimately ended up finding her clients a match. From talking to her, it does sound like she has a much easier time matching her male clients than female, but does have success with female clients as well...it just seemed to take a little more time. If you are willing to pay for it and a very serious about wanting to find someone, I would recommend it. But from what I understand, its a pricey endeavor.

What's the name of the service?

DC Matchmaking...Michelle Jacoby. She's a bit Millionaire Matchmaker like, but I found her absolutely delightful and it was a good experience overall if you are very serious about wanting to meet someone. I know she's very pricey if you actually want to be a client with her actively matching you. I somehow just stumbled in to the situation.

Thanks. I'm pretty serious, so I'll look her up.

[Anonymous]

I tried Tawkify and got zero matches within twice the time frame they promised, and then they were very slow and unkind about giving me a refund. I also tried a Jewish matchmaker in the DMV. She set me up with someone who did not have a get (Jewish divorce) and criticized my complaint by saying I would severely limit my pool if I insisted on that. Problem is, under Jewish law the match is still married so basically you are committing adultery. Not everyone is that observant, and I’m not particularly observant, but that was a huge red flag to me. If you get married by a rabbi, there is a Jewish law wedding contract. So I kind of need the Jewish divorce, too, to consider you single. Each of these services run about 10K for anywhere between 6 months and a year, depending. In NY I’ve heard the really high end ones run up to 50K.

Tl;dr - I gave up on matchmakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago, a couple of my single friends and I decided to sign up for "It's Just Lunch."

Biggest waste of time and money ever. None of us wound up meeting anyone even remotely worth consideration. I had one date where the guy showed up high on something, made a few hostile and critical remarks to me, then left the table and began flirting with a waitress. I threw some money down on the table and left.

When I called up the service and told them they didn't seem to be overly concerned. I'm sure they probably tried to match him with someone else.

Although I do have one friend who got married through them, other people I know have confirmed that they scrape the bottom of the barrel when it comes to men. It's just that in this area a LOT more women than men want to hire them, so they reuse men and are always actively searching for them. They'll take anyone. I doubt the men even have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Call Sima Tapatia, LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call Sima Tapatia, LOL!

You found someone!? What's the name of her company?

[Anonymous]

Tawkify recently hounded me to join. I'm an AA woman so I figured it was a waste of money, plus I've done really well on Hinge this year.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband thru it’s just lunch! I was 29 so got a 50% off deal (they needed women under 30). I had great matches actually - my husband was my fifth I think - the first five were tall, attractive and professional (commercial real estate, attorneys etc). My husband said he had pretty decent matches initially - felt they led with their “heavy hitters” first when he was so excited about he kept telling them to try new people and then he regretted that when quality starting waning - then I joined and he met me! I mean for me it was just another avenue - I was trying other ways too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work at a matchmaker and will be straight with you. If you are an older guy you will have your pick of women. If you are a woman it’s going to be difficult, better to spend your money which can be in the thousands getting out and about.

This. Remember that service Ashley Madison, where married people paid to set up dating accounts for casual sex? When they were hacked and lists of semi-famous men were released, the public was shocked, apologies were had, etc. But the greatest discovery was that the site was literally 95% married men and 5% scammers and bots posing as women. The lesson: women do. not. have. to. pay. to find casual sex. The reverse of this is true for matchmaking services. If the goal of the service is “to be married”, you will find the reverse economics of Ashley Madison.