Are any of your kids expressing concern about going back?
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Anonymous
Yes, they have to learn to accept reality. So do their parents. The reality right now is that we have a global pandemic, involving a virus that is unlike any other we already know, for which there is inadequate treatment. The reality is that it is highly contagious and nothing fights it except avoiding it by distancing, masking and staying out of group situations such as living and studying together. The reality is that students cannot count on governments at any level to advise their colleges or ensure everyone will have enough tests, PPE, etc. The reality is that going back to in-person campus life is exactly the opposite of the medical advice to keep distant, however many tents colleges set up outdoors, however far apart they space seats. Lots of good efforts and ideas by colleges, but any student who chooses to stay home is seeing that living in groups, not learning in spaced classrooms, is going to sink those good intentions. The fact that you snidely characterize anyone's choice to do this semester at home as "doing correspondence courses from mommy's basement," as if these students are somehow hiding from reality, tells us a lot about YOU, PP. They are accepting that the college experience and education they already knew or were about to begin is profoundly altered by this pandemic and our nation's idiotic response to it so far. Your idea that they should all rush back to campuses is the idea that lacks reality. |
Anonymous
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"My child is a freshman and is worried her roommate will think Covid is a Hoax and not take any precautions."
+1 It doesn't help that the school keeps putting off announcing the housing placements and roommates. DC's older sibling "helpfully" managed to chime in that even the most conscientious roommate might not follow the rules if they are drunk. |
Anonymous
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I have a rising sophomore who is eager to move into his apartment (which we are paying for either way). He is concerned that his education is going to experience a significant setback depending on how the final course schedule looks (music major) but he would rather get his subpar education away from mom and dad. I don't think he has any health concerns. As far as I know right now, there is no option to do all DL for Fall 2020.
I think it's very reasonable for anyone moving into a dorm or returning to a far-away campus to be concerned. |
Anonymous
| I don't have a college-aged child but I'm a professor and our department ran a survey. According to our results there are definitely a good number of students who have serious and/or thoughtful concerns about returning to the classroom, and there are some who refuse to. |
Anonymous
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Rising sophomore DC is very eager to go back. Nervous, very aware of the daily news about the virus, does not have head in the sand, and is concerned, but also really wanting to return. It makes a difference that DC's school is a small (but not tiny) LAC with a self-contained campus to which they want to confine all students, and they have extremely detailed plans that COULD work well IF all students get on board. A better shot than big schools. But I admit that I wish DC would at least think through pros and cons of doing classes remotely here at home, which is an option. DC has been very, very much on board here at home and has not been out or seen anyone except via Zoom since March. No sneaking out etc. as you read about some teens and college age students doing. So DC takes this seriously here. We'll talk more about a choice between distance and on-campus, but right now DC sees it as "I'm going back." DC's friends at a couple of the very large state universities have said they're very worried about returning. They've told us they know their huge campuses that are throughout with the surrounding towns are not going to be able to use testing etc. the same way as DC's campus. |
Anonymous
| My kid is a freshman and desperate to be on campus. I understand both sides though as there are no easy answers. I’m letting my kid decide although I worry if she gets sick at college, we will not be able to be there with her. These are tough times |
Anonymous
Ugh, that's harsh, but older sibling makes a very solid point. A lot of roommates are going to have some tough relationships if one is cautious and follows the rules, and the other doesn't. I'd really start talking now to your DC about how to have those talks from the first day to see if they are on the same page. A lot of freshmen are going to not want to offend a new roommate and might be reluctant to call the roommate out on acting the fool. (True even before you had to worry about Covid, though.) |
Anonymous
The bold is my worry as well. Surely a worry for most parents right now. Colleges promise "quarantine dorms" but there or in a hospital the student likely could have no visitors. That is appropriate--no parent needs to go get infected too, or the parent can't help care for the student if the student comes home again -- but it's worrying nevertheless. If our kid went into quarantine I likely would go to the city where the college is (six-hour drive) and stay locally to be on the spot just in case symptoms developed and treatment/hospitalization was needed. PP above, also -- be sure you get a medical power of attorney document for your kid AND get HIPAA release forms signed by your kid, so you can be consulted on treatment etc. You may not be, if you don't have these things, if your child is 18 or older. You need the HIPAA waiver form for the state where your child is in college and your home state of residence as well. There is no obligation for a doctor, college clinic or hospital to tell you any information or consult you on any treatment if your child is a legal adult. And the fact your child is on your health insurance will not matter--even the insurer doesn't have to inform you of anything except to send a bill. |
Anonymous
Yep. Mine has been on some zoom calls facilitated by the college and all the other freshmen mentioned that they are/have already going to meet their roommates to go out to eat weeks before school starts. Also that’s not something my kid would feel comfortable doing because of Covid. |
Anonymous
Would you be willing to move into a dorm right now? |
Anonymous
We are a cautious family - always wearing masks upon entering grocery stores, malls, etc. But, we don't wear masks when taking a walk outside or running on the local HS track. We wash hands/use hand sanitizer/wipes religiously. While we haven't had any "friends" over for dinner....we have had Grandma over (although not during initial phase) - it's unavoidable really as she requires help with sending emails, paperwork and other things. I have had the occasional social distance friend sitting in back yard for glass of wine. We did go to by brother's for 4th of July (sat outside socially distanced for the most part). There have been a rare few occasions where I have gone into a friends house and vice versa. We assumed the risk. Just like attending church and taking communion. Went for niece's first communion - not everyone was wearing a mask. My kids and I went to take communion from our priest while my DH thought it was too risky. We went to brother's house for lunch after and DH didn't have issue with that. My DH hasn't stopped working since this all began (thankfully!) and his job requires interaction with different people -- he's extremely cautious. I telework on rotation basis going into office a few days a week. Here's my point of view....had we at the very beginning....shut down the ENTIRE country (every single state - regardless of # of cases in each state at the time) we wouldn't be in as big a mess as we are in now. However, this would never have worked with our current Federal and State Government systems. Tell me....had the US President issued a Federal Mandate to shut down all schools, colleges and non-essential businesses at the initial outbreak....do you really think states such as WV, WY, MT, etc. who at the time had only a few reported cases if any at all would have agreed to shut down all schools, colleges and non-essential businesses?? Heck no. They would have likely defied the mandate because each State feels like they have the right to make their own rules as they have been allowed to do according to the current system. This isn't the case in most other countries. They would have said....oh...we don't have any or only a few cases, so why should we shut down? As for sending kids back to school (K-12) or college....it's a very complex issue.... I truly feel for both teachers and parents of kids in K-6 right now...had this happened when my kids were K-6 (and who were also in SACC) with both parents working....I can tell you we would not have been able to afford having 1 parent quit their job to stay home with kids. I would have had to ask a grandparent or hire someone to stay home with them. I am able to telework some days...but many families out there rely on 2-parent incomes with neither parent able to telework. ...and about college...and sending kids to campus. From what I understand it's totally a personal decision...most colleges are offering 100% DL options for those students who wish it, and hybrid courses mixed with some DL for those staying on campus. We are going in with eyes wide open and the understanding that things are changing weekly. As for now most colleges are sending kids home at Thanksgiving to finish the semester 100% DL and only returning end of January. Both my kids' colleges send detailed guidelines on return to campus. I am fine sending my kids off to college. That being said...they are both in VA colleges....I might have a different view if they were further away requiring a flight to get home should the need arise. Signed, Mom of twins and sending both rising freshmen off to VA college campuses next month. |
Anonymous
| While I don't want my kid to be a weak pushover or stunted, I also don't want them to be on the wrong side of history or ethics. If opting for DL or staying home is their moral imperative, or hill to (not) die on, I have no issue with that, so long as they can pick it up when the crisis is over, which will be a weird transition, but is necessary. |
Anonymous
I think that attitude is really misguided and the "mommy's basement" uncalled for. Students didn't ask for this pandemic to happen. It shut down their schools in March. It is still going on, many places worse than before, so they have a right to be wondering why it's OK to be opening up dorms now when they had to be closed in March and April. Why is it OK to be living in a dorm, when they can't meet in classrooms and when their professors and residential life employees want to telework and clearly don't want to be in the same room with any students? I'm not criticizing students who do want to go back to campus, but to imply that they have some kind of failure to grow up and take risks isn't fair. |
Anonymous
Yeah my kid who is scared to go back isn’t some shut-in (pre pandemic) |
Anonymous
You are not being as cautious as you describe. Going to a family celebration? Attending indoor religious services? Neither parent teleworking? Going to friends houses & malls? You are not the worst covidiot, by any stretch, but you have taken unnecessary risks. So your college plan does not surprise me. I agree with you that it is complex. |