Not sure I should continue with this friendship but it's complicated

[Anonymous]

I could never be friends w/someone who would have the audacity to actually say that they thought I was ignorant.

That shows a total lack of respect right there.

[Anonymous]

Agree that this friendship is probably not right for your family, but look at this as an opportunity. The things that they are saying; that the virus is a hoax, the teens have to have an iPhone, etc., are not only untrue, but dangerous. Time for a family meeting. Arm your kids with facts. Not inflammatory statements, but have a real family discussion that is data driven. Talk about how to engage in these types of debates. If the kids want to continue to be friends, this is a real opportunity for them to learn to deal with people like this. They are going to run into people like this their whole lives. Engaging with folks like this is a skill they’ll need.

[Anonymous]

You’re seeing some of their weird and ugly. Just know that if what you’ve seen so far makes you uneasy, it is only the tip of the iceberg. Time to drop them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could never be friends w/someone who would have the audacity to actually say that they thought I was ignorant.

That shows a total lack of respect right there.

Agreed. You teach people how to treat you, OP, and this is an excellent lesson for your kids on setting boundaries. A simple "Do not speak to me this way" should suffice. If they continue, "I asked you to stop speaking to me this way. I don't want to continue this conversation" and leave/hang up.

[Anonymous]

(1) Drop your friend
(2) Make this a good teaching moment for your kids since you are fully aware of what these other kids are saying and doing - this is the time for your kids to learn to stand up for themselves, stand up for what they believe in, and not succumb to peer pressure

Honestly, you're lucky you know all of this, because most teens deal with these kinds of people in ways you aren't aware of. Don't just leave your kids hanging!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have always been very honest and open with my kids, OP, so in this situation I would discuss it with them just as you did here.

My husband is a virologist, and my teens are well-informed and would push back themselves if anyone made weird claims like this family is doing. We would probably all agree to drop them as friends!

This. Your kids are definitely old enough to understand and discuss the complexities of this, and even for them to make different decisions than you about the level of interaction they want. Honor them with an open minded discussion and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

I also agree with the advice to talk this through as a family.

My opening position - which would be open to discussion with thrw kids - would be to say:
1. Totally fine with the kids staying friends with their kids.
a. If kids ever feel pressure or want an out, you can help them. (Ie, I say to my teenager, if you need me to be the bad guy I will and we use that judiciously if her avenues haven't worked).

2. Prepare comments for the mom, with whom you are friends. Peggy, I need you to back off a little. Whatever you choose to do is fine, it's your life. I'd asking you to respect my choices to live my life as I choose, and to back off any judgement.

3. Ease off and distance from adult interaction. If they push back, restate step 2. If they continue to push back, a polite step 3 becomes a more overt step 3.