Does your DH make any couple friends?

[Anonymous]

No, zero friends, absolutely zero. Married nearly 15 years.
He has an all consuming job where he has work friends and I don't even know their names until we all attend a wedding and he has to give me a run down on who is who as we drive to it.

and then we never see any of them again anyway. Well, I don't.

[Anonymous]

We do not have couple friends. Never have. But the marriage was never normal and we moved a lot and never truly blended our lives. I always wondered how normal or abnormal it was not to have couple friends. I think we may have went out with another couple once or twice 9 years ago. That is it. I could care less.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have friends from HS? College?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have friends from HS? College?

We moved 2500 Miles away. We both are just connected with them on social media.

[Anonymous]

Why do you insist on your DH making friends to have robust social life? You get to a point in your life where if you don't make any good friends, NBD. Life isn't empty without hypothetical friends. If you want your DH to make friends, why don't you initiate with any female friends and try to do things as couples?

Why worry about him so much? Sounds like the deterioration of your own social life is bothering you more than his.

[Anonymous]

I'm 45 and I have 3-4 good friends. 2 of them are from HS - 1 of those is 1000 miles away and the other lives in Europe. My other 1-2 good friends live about an hour from me. Outside of that, yeah, I have work "friends" but nobody does anything outside of work. For me, it's me, my wife and my 3 kids with the occasional go grab a beer with a buddy a couple times a year. I am ok with that.

[Anonymous]

He said it was hard to make friends at his job because he was now a manager

Op, DH was a manager and it was only after he retired that he was able to go out with them socially, meet them for drinks, be part of their social group. We have been to 2 of their weddings. We have been to their baby showers. Now. Nothing was going to happen until after he was no longer their boss.

[Anonymous]

Yes. He made friends at various jobs and conferences. He's made friends through walking our dog.

BTW, DH and his friend opened their own law firm and they've made friends with various employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The problem is that it sounds like DH is content. You're not going to be able to force him to make couple friends if he's happy with his current social situation. If YOU want friends, YOU have to make them. It doesn't have to be couple friends. Join an activity related to your own hobby and make friends. It sounds like much of your life was tied up in your daughter. So now is time to do stuff for yourself. Obviously can't do much now, but what are your own hobbies?

+1. I’ve had our few couples friends get divorced and friendships that were based on our daughter being friends drift apart during the challenges of middle school. After that I realized it’s better to be friends with someone that I get along well with and think is a good friend, not based on being half of a couple or having kids that are friends. Those good friends are the people that I have been turning to now. My kids know who they are, have met them, I talk about them ,and some have seen my kids grow up. Depending on the size of a wedding, they could be invited as a family friend and would bring their plus one. My DH has a few college friends and is content with that.

[Anonymous]

You need a hobby op.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

We recently moved and I understand how you feel.

DH has a handful of friends and we sometimes get together with their wives and families. I would not say they are our couple friends. They are his friends.

We also have family friends that we made when our older kids were in preschool. We have 3 kids - elementary and one in preschool.