Why do cheaters always try to come back?

[Anonymous]

They come back for sex. Either you want this sex, or you don’t. It’s not complicated!

[Anonymous]

They know they screwed up a good thing.

[Anonymous]

You shut that down immediately. The first time my ex started going in that direction I told him that the only thing I need to hear about is that child support is coming on time and logistics about the kids.

[Anonymous]

Because they are terrified of being alone and having to deal with their own issues.

They’re with you and unhappy, so they cheat because *you* were obviously what was causing their unhappiness. So they cheat (wheeeee!) and don’t have to feel the unhappiness because endorphin rush. Then they start dating or marry the other person. And in time their unhappiness bleeds through. And obviously it’s being caused by the person they are with.

So what’s the easiest relationship to jump into—oh yeah, my Ex. And they suddenly remember there were good times and they were happy at one point. So they coming back begging for a second chance.

When you say no, they stay in their current relationship because they are terrified of being alone. If they are alone they’d actually have to deal with themselves and their issues. Easier to stay with bad/meh relationship, that is unless another wheeeeee relationship comes along...

[Anonymous]

Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they are terrified of being alone and having to deal with their own issues.

They’re with you and unhappy, so they cheat because *you* were obviously what was causing their unhappiness. So they cheat (wheeeee!) and don’t have to feel the unhappiness because endorphin rush. Then they start dating or marry the other person. And in time their unhappiness bleeds through. And obviously it’s being caused by the person they are with.

So what’s the easiest relationship to jump into—oh yeah, my Ex. And they suddenly remember there were good times and they were happy at one point. So they coming back begging for a second chance.

When you say no, they stay in their current relationship because they are terrified of being alone. If they are alone they’d actually have to deal with themselves and their issues. Easier to stay with bad/meh relationship, that is unless another wheeeeee relationship comes along...

+1 The "wheeeeee" relationship is definitely a real thing. They love to ride on a high 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

They want their cake.....and also the privilege of eating it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

You need therapy.

+1000
Wow I’m sure she’s probably 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

You need therapy.

+1000
Wow I’m sure she’s probably 17.

I am 24 and both of you are obnoxious snarky old judgy t wats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

You need therapy.

+1000
Wow I’m sure she’s probably 17.

I am 24 and both of you are obnoxious snarky old judgy t wats

I agree. Jesus, they're on every thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

He's toxic and his cheating wasn't your fault. He could've just ended the relationship. If you weren't enough of a risk taker he could've been an adult and said that and ended the relationship. You're better off without him. He keeps coming back because he knows he has a chance with you taking him back. Don't. Take your power back and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the other person was over it, and they don’t want to be alone. The End.

For me it was different. My ex didn't want to be alone so he kept me interested while he dated other people. When I found out about his dating apps and the women he dated he became very remorseful after I cried. I told him I couldn't do this and hung up on him. he called me back a number of times until I picked up which I wish I wouldn't have done and convinced me to start talking again. I never forgot about it though and my feelings weren't the same anymore. We went through another breakup when he gave me an ultimatum and again started dating someone he met on an app right away without telling me we were broken up. He called me every week and we talked while he was dating the person he met online. I sent him some risque pictures and he ended up breaking up with her over the phone and he sent me screenshots of it. Again I couldn't love him again. Actually just hate him more and I can't forget the faces of the people he cheated with to this day. I do blame myself for the cheating though which is why I stayed with him. I think if I had been more of a risk taker he wouldn't have cheated. Months before cheating he had gotten very drunk and yelled obscenities at me and asked me why we weren't together (we started dating online without seeing each other first). If he didn't love me though why the hell would he keep coming back. I called him every name in the book and I haven't told him I loved him after the cheating.

He's toxic and his cheating wasn't your fault. He could've just ended the relationship. If you weren't enough of a risk taker he could've been an adult and said that and ended the relationship. You're better off without him. He keeps coming back because he knows he has a chance with you taking him back. Don't. Take your power back and move on.

I'm sorry - you never actually physically MET this guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they think of you as a sucker. They're probably "coming back" to other women, too. It's a numbers game. Someone is bound to take them. They are sociopaths and you are nothing to them.

This.