s/o Acceptable to say you're miserable at home with kids, but not that you're enjoying it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.

l

But it's acceptable to complain about how hard it is to be at home with your kids? People are dying and it's so hard for you to be at home? Talk about tone deaf.

No, it’s the very human desire to empathize with the suffering of others. To say you’re grateful for a virus whose effect is giving you free time is tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait..wait..wait. Let me get this straight: People are dying, so we can't feel joy, but we can bitch about how hard we have it, even though we're not dying? Um, okay!

No one said you can't feel joy.

Crowing about how awesome this is, is a whole other matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.

l

But it's acceptable to complain about how hard it is to be at home with your kids? People are dying and it's so hard for you to be at home? Talk about tone deaf.

No, it’s the very human desire to empathize with the suffering of others. To say you’re grateful for a virus whose effect is giving you free time is tone deaf.

No one is saying they're grateful for the virus. Jesus.

People are trying to find small areas of joy.

It's not our fault you have no capacity to comprehend nuance.

[Anonymous]

I’m happy to be home with my kids. This is great. Silver lining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.

So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?

You can always find joy but keep in mind the suffering of others and the tragic cause for your being home.

And maybe you can stop making assumptions. My grandma and my mom are being tested today for COVID-19 because they were potentially exposed. So, yes -- I know the suffering, thank you very much.

I can also find joy.

So you agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s a horrible situation where people are dying, losing their livelihoods and scared. I love being home with my son but I hate the circumstances that caused it and I’m afraid of the future.

So no one is allowed to find any sort of joy right now?

You can always find joy but keep in mind the suffering of others and the tragic cause for your being home.

And maybe you can stop making assumptions. My grandma and my mom are being tested today for COVID-19 because they were potentially exposed. So, yes -- I know the suffering, thank you very much.

I can also find joy.

So you agree!

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Personally I feel like it's way more tone deaf to complain about how hard you have it at home with your kids while there is real suffering going on. I'd much rather see people finding joy in the little things then saying how hard they have it - from the comfort of their homes with their families all under one roof.

[Anonymous]

I think this is kind of relevant.

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html

[Anonymous]

We keep saving we’re very lucky and blessed, and indeed we are. I try to gently remind my kids what’s happening outside. But mostly we’re having fun. It’s important for them to still be kids.

[Anonymous]

The only people who are enjoying being home with their kids are teachers and other people who aren't working and are being paid. The rest of us are working hard while also juggling daycare aged kids.

I am SO sick of teachers right now bragging about being paid. "If you are stressed right now, maybe you should appreciate teachers more." Ugh. What they don't get is that we're basically doing two jobs (shittily).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I feel like it's way more tone deaf to complain about how hard you have it at home with your kids while there is real suffering going on. I'd much rather see people finding joy in the little things then saying how hard they have it - from the comfort of their homes with their families all under one roof.

Well said. I come from a culture where multigenerations live under one roof. I actually wonder if this will shift our social structure so we are less isolated and so child unfriendly. I’m a former FT WOHM (and a breadwinner) and now freelancing (highly paid) so all remote with a much lighter schedule. I see the benefits of a sah parent, though I aspire to always work at some level.

[Anonymous]

I think it is how it is stated quite honestly. I think it is important to look for the silver linings and things that can make a hard experience more enjoyable. But when people are posting "this is great, I get to spend time with my kids" and not acknowledging that for some families that means that they are losing their jobs and other people are getting really sick it feels tone deaf.

As for the people posting that it is hard, well many folks understand that. Our son is not homeschooled for a couple of reasons.

1) Neither my husband or I have the patience to teach everything to our son. We actually have the academic background to cover all the major fields but I am a lousy teacher and my Husband has no interest in teaching. we love supplementing. We read to DS, we take him to educational locations, we watch science based shows and discuss the concepts. We are all over that. But knowing how to explain concepts that DS is struggling with and has to learn is outside our comfort zone.

2) We both work full time jobs and feel like we need to work those jobs to save appropriately for retirement, college, and the possibility of one of us not working at all.

3) We appreciate the socialization that comes from school and the exposure to areas we would really struggle with teaching, like Art and Music.

This is a hard time for a lot of parents because many are taking the educational element seriously and are clueless on homeschooling and how to help out kids learn. And we are trying to work from home while homeschooling. And there are no socialization opertunities for our kids so they need more attention from us which is hard to do because we are working and teaching.

I appreciate that there are folks who are enjoying the change of pace and feel comfortable with it. I just think that the people who have posted have done so in a way that ignores the gravity of the situation. I don't post in those threads because there is no real reason for me to rain on anyones parade. I am sure that those folks are not trying to be insensitive but the way many of them are phrased can be off putting.

[Anonymous]

My facebook is full of parents complaining about being "stuck" with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only people who are enjoying being home with their kids are teachers and other people who aren't working and are being paid. The rest of us are working hard while also juggling daycare aged kids.

I am SO sick of teachers right now bragging about being paid. "If you are stressed right now, maybe you should appreciate teachers more." Ugh. What they don't get is that we're basically doing two jobs (shittily).

Teachers are also working right now, unless they are on spring break. They are supposed to essentially create a distance learning curriculum from scratch while taking care of their own kids. So they are also doing two jobs, just like you. You should get over yourself. You don't seem like a very nice person.

[Anonymous]

I am enjoying aspects of it right now from my place of privilege -- food and internet and financial security and free time and older kids who are homebodies. I am not announcing it to people I know because they are in tough situations with SN kids who aren't getting the education or therapy they need and threat of job loss and fear for the future. You don't have to share your happiness, it's lucky enough for you you have it.