Do you call stubbornness resilience? Or obsession?

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned: your child, at least, would rather be frustrated working through an issue and succeed through her own solution than to get help from you. I think you're right to realize that you were too involved, given her preferences. It's fine to be sympathetic and even to offer help, but if she rejects help, I think she's showing you a bit about how she prefers to be parented.

[Anonymous]

12:30 here. I'll add that you don't have to allow her to make other people miserable. If she's frustrated, she doesn't get to take that out on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In that case, it's resilience and worthy of praise.

When it's an insistence on the blue cup over the red cup, it's stubborness.

+1 It's a great trait that should be encouraged, even if you understandably find her frustrating at times. My DH and I grew up in families that were always calling us "stubborn," "difficult," or "mule-headed". Really, we were both just very persistent, and it has served us well in our professional and personal lives. We have three kids who share the same trait, and we always tell them we admire their persistence, though sometimes we do have to tell them that it's not the time or place for whatever it is they are trying to accomplish.

NP here. Thank you for this. My 4.5 is persistent and I'll use the "time and place" with her.