DH told me he wants a divorce

[Anonymous]

You need to check with a lawyer before moving any funds but first thing this morning or at your lunch break go to a bank and fill out the paperwork to open up a separate account so that you have one ready. Take some cash so that that can be your first deposit rather than a check he can see in the joint.

Go on your computer or in your files right now and get copies of all the financial information.

[Anonymous]

Also - look into getting your name off any joint credit cards he could run up.

[Anonymous]

I say go another round. Give him the wildest nastiest craziest kinkiest night of sex he ever had and tell him, Adios Buster Hit The Couch.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is an a$$hole.

Seriously. Don’t let him gaslight into thinking otherwise. This was a manipulative and jerk move.

I agree about making appointments to see as many lawyers as possible. Download your taxes, retirement, and any other information.

Definitely move his stuff to the guest room. Do NOT engage in begging for therapy or counseling or for him to pick you.

Do you have children together?

[Anonymous]

Overwhelmed OP here.

We did discuss divorce back in October. I thought that was all behind us. I had started leaving him love notes and as dorky as I felt doing that, he loved it. He gave me a lot of Valentine's presents and took me out for a nice dinner. If anything, I thought things had never been better the past month or so.

We do have kids in preschool. Hopefully NOT another one on the way now...

The kids were hell this weekend. They couldn't seem to stop pinching and pushing each other. We had plans to do extra house chores and got less than usual done because we were breaking up kids fights over and over and over.

Divorce is complicated. I'm a SAHM and the majority of our $ is in his retirement/savings accounts. I have access to it through a shared credit card, but I also lost my wallet this weekend (somehow...without ever leaving the house).

I should note that I did find him on his hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. That was very impressive.

[Anonymous]

Could he have taken your wallet to keep you from accessing funds? After his jerk move, I think it’s plausible.

Part, maybe half (depending on when you married, when it started) of his 401k is yours. Don’t relinquish any funds that are yours in order to be “done with it.”

[Anonymous]

OMG he totally hid your wallet. You need to ransack his car/the house for it.

Get the after sex pill.

"His" retirement/savings is also half yours.

[Anonymous]

What a pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Overwhelmed OP here.

We did discuss divorce back in October. I thought that was all behind us. I had started leaving him love notes and as dorky as I felt doing that, he loved it. He gave me a lot of Valentine's presents and took me out for a nice dinner. If anything, I thought things had never been better the past month or so.

We do have kids in preschool. Hopefully NOT another one on the way now...

The kids were hell this weekend. They couldn't seem to stop pinching and pushing each other. We had plans to do extra house chores and got less than usual done because we were breaking up kids fights over and over and over.

Divorce is complicated. I'm a SAHM and the majority of our $ is in his retirement/savings accounts. I have access to it through a shared credit card, but I also lost my wallet this weekend (somehow...without ever leaving the house).

I should note that I did find him on his hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. That was very impressive.

So you had sex, he told you he wanted a divorce, then he decided to scrub the kitchen floor? Sounds completely normal.

[Anonymous]

Give him what he wants

[Anonymous]

wow he's terrible- lawyer now

[Anonymous]

Has he always been emotionally abusive or is it new behavior?

[Anonymous]

He was PRETENDING to scrub the floor but was really hiding her wallet under a floorboard or something.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I’m having flashbacks to 2009 when the morning after sex my XDH said I’m leaving and took his stuff and literally left. We had a baby and a 3 year old. He also blocked all the bank accounts. (I bet your H hid your wallet). Do you have another form of ID? Passport? Something so the bank will give you at least some cash.

I’m 10 years past where you are today. It seemed like things would never be okay. But they are great now.

Yeah - get thee some Plan B after you get some cash.


I’m sorry this is happening and I’m sending you good vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Overwhelmed OP here.

We did discuss divorce back in October. I thought that was all behind us. I had started leaving him love notes and as dorky as I felt doing that, he loved it. He gave me a lot of Valentine's presents and took me out for a nice dinner. If anything, I thought things had never been better the past month or so.

We do have kids in preschool. Hopefully NOT another one on the way now...

The kids were hell this weekend. They couldn't seem to stop pinching and pushing each other. We had plans to do extra house chores and got less than usual done because we were breaking up kids fights over and over and over.

Divorce is complicated. I'm a SAHM and the majority of our $ is in his retirement/savings accounts. I have access to it through a shared credit card, but I also lost my wallet this weekend (somehow...without ever leaving the house).

I should note that I did find him on his hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. That was very impressive.

So you had sex, he told you he wanted a divorce, then he decided to scrub the kitchen floor? Sounds completely normal.

+100
WTF? the same night? did he give a REASON for wanting the divorce?