Don't know how to talk about color of skin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talking about race is good. Your child is a great age to start this. “Mrs A is White. Mrs G is Black.” Acknowledging someone’s race IS NOT RACIST, I have no idea why white people get so hung up on this.

White people spent several decades trying to believe "We don't see color."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talking about race is good. Your child is a great age to start this. “Mrs A is White. Mrs G is Black.” Acknowledging someone’s race IS NOT RACIST, I have no idea why white people get so hung up on this.

White people spent several decades trying to believe "We don't see color."

Now THAT is a racist statement. If you say that to a person of color what they hear is “I don’t acknowledge your full humanity.” Society dictates that one’s race affects so much of their lived experiences - to claim to not see it is to disregard its impact and meaning and how it may be part of someone’s identity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you don't discourage it.

There is a fair amount written on this if you want to google it. White people teach their kids not to talk about race and pretend to not notice race, which ultimately is a problem. The best thing to do is to talk about it openly and honestly and of course, age appropriately. No, you're not going to get into bigger conversations with your 3 year old about race. But eventually you want to be able to openly talk about race and how race factors into our country's history and current events. So you start by being ok acknowledging and saying out loud there are white and black people in the world.

This. I teach older children and they need to be able to discuss race in our courses as well as address racial injustice. They can’t do that if they are taught the goal is to pretend to be “colorblind”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you don't discourage it.

There is a fair amount written on this if you want to google it. White people teach their kids not to talk about race and pretend to not notice race, which ultimately is a problem. The best thing to do is to talk about it openly and honestly and of course, age appropriately. No, you're not going to get into bigger conversations with your 3 year old about race. But eventually you want to be able to openly talk about race and how race factors into our country's history and current events. So you start by being ok acknowledging and saying out loud there are white and black people in the world.

This. I teach older children and they need to be able to discuss race in our courses as well as address racial injustice. They can’t do that if they are taught the goal is to pretend to be “colorblind”.

100% agree. My son is biracial (I am white) and the only people that have an an "option" of talking about race are us white people, everyone else has to talk about it. It is actually not racist to talk about race, opting not to talk about race is actually racist.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better OP when my biracial child once answered a question like this “the white man!” It shocked my pants off and made me realize how much white is the default for me as a white person. This stuff with kids forces us to unpack our own race issues.

[Anonymous]

She is black. That’s not offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talking about race is good. Your child is a great age to start this. “Mrs A is White. Mrs G is Black.” Acknowledging someone’s race IS NOT RACIST, I have no idea why white people get so hung up on this.

I think people who are really trying to get it right on race don't want to use phrasing that might fall into the category of racist without realizing it. There is nuance to interaction that is harder for some nonPOC to decipher. (It went from Black, to African American, to now back to Black. But there is still some leftover of: Is saying black person okay? Or does it still need to be AA?) Once it's spelled out, then it is OBVIOUS. But someone who is trying to get it right tends to err on the side of caution. Asking on an anonymous forum gives them a place to learn. So a conversation like this is very helpful.

All to say, believe it or not, in at least many cases, the question is coming out of good intent--not out of being hung up on something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talking about race is good. Your child is a great age to start this. “Mrs A is White. Mrs G is Black.” Acknowledging someone’s race IS NOT RACIST, I have no idea why white people get so hung up on this.

White people spent several decades trying to believe "We don't see color."

Now THAT is a racist statement. If you say that to a person of color what they hear is “I don’t acknowledge your full humanity.” Society dictates that one’s race affects so much of their lived experiences - to claim to not see it is to disregard its impact and meaning and how it may be part of someone’s identity

And this. Such a good part of the discussion because it is a learning moment. There was a time when we were taught that we are all the SAME, REGARDLESS of race, religion or creed, in an attempt to teach EQUALITY. The paradigm has shifted to each of us being able to embrace our ethnicity AND be equal. A great step, but a step along the continuum towards true equality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with "the black one" if he is a black? No need to be so sensitive.

LOL, +1

I was about to say I was so happy to see the right answers. Don’t try to hide our color, or race, address it and embrace it!


Signed
A black

(Going to look past the implied prejudice there )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I really don't know. I grew up in a very white community and we had one African American student in our entire high school. None in my grade school.

So I'm probably projecting my own insecurity. I have a fear that I'll sound ignorant b/c we talked about race mainly during BHM or on MLK Day -- not much day to day and the racial issues that exist today.

I want to make sure I'm teaching my kids the right away about how to talk about ethnic background, racism, etc.

If anyone has any books to recommend, I'll take em.

https://akidsbookabout.com/products/a-kids-book-about-racism?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIydf76aTl5wIVxJ-zCh2cNwpuEAQYASABEgKUH_D_BwE

[Anonymous]

Mem Fox “Whoever You Are”
Katie Kissinger “All the colors we are”
Sesame St. “We’re different we’re the same”
From there amazon can give you more suggestions.

It is also important to have regular everyday storybooks that feature children and families of different ethnicities and skin color. Doing so helps children relate more to people who look different without it being “now we are going to discuss race” but also, discuss racism.