have you moved to be closer to aging parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s going on with your mom? Can you just fly back and forth more?
Being close doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be able to solve the problem. You still need to work. If your mom needs round the clock care, you might be better able to take a few shifts but I don’t know if that’s worth moving.
I would just have frank conversations with your sister and your dad about what is happening and plan to fly up more often to check in and help manage things. Once they have professional caregivers in the home (if they go that way) there is a ton of administrative work you can take on remotely. Scheduling, insurance, etc.

This is OP: My mom has early stage Parkinson's and a bunch of other issues as well. I don't really see my potential move as going to help out - my dad, thank goodness, is still fully equipped; and my mom can handle paperwork and that sort of thing still. It's more just to be with them. To see them. I love them a lot, and I would like to be able to see them for dinner or for an afternoon. That's all. I don't think they really need my help - outside of occasionally - but more just, I feel sad missing out on seeing them. I could try flying up more; that's certainly an easier haul than moving.

[Anonymous]

If your parents are too stubborn to move, and you don't want to move to CT, the answer is to stop feeling guilty. Your parents are adults, they have made choices, and so have you.

[Anonymous]

Can your parents snowbird with you for the worst winter months?

[Anonymous]

OP we did and I regret it. For the first few years it felt good to be able to help and they were appreciative. Over time things changed. Mom became very demanding and entitled and my siblings insisted I take care of things since I was the closest. It enabled them for too long to age in place when that was not ideal. I had to throw a fit for one to end up in memory care and it really made a positive difference. (No this was not 2 love birds separated. It was 2 people I was afraid would kill eachother if they had the strength.) They were incredibly nasty to eachother even when one didn't know who the other one was. I think if I had been farther away they would have been forced to make positive moves sooner. There are no easy answers, but my health has taken a turn for the worse dealing with them so often and impossible siblings. I truly love my parents and wanted to support them. No good deeds go unpunished sometimes.