Not Sure About Third Child..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not old. If you're feeling like you're managing well with the two you have and aren't financially stretched, I'd go for it!

I had my kids at 36 and 38, they are 3 and 16 months and very high energy/not good sleepers (though we did not sleep train), and I am freaking EXHAUSTED. No third is happening over here. But you sound like you're coping just fine!

OP here. We have easy babies but we sleep trained both at an early age.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think we will keep the option open a little longer before we decide if we want a third.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Everyone is different. I didn’t ask an input on my age and whether you think I’m too old. I was not ready for a child at 29. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34, and no way was I having kids with just anyone because of an age limit. I decide to wait until I was married to a man who would be a great partner and father. He is all of that and so much more! It may seem old to you, but many women are having kids older because of careers, fertility issues, meeting partner later in life, etc. I’m glad I waited until I was “ old” because I found a great man who is an amazing father and husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Was your mom a teen mom? Being a grandma and not even being 58 is crazy to me. Women today are having kids later. Being 58 when your kid goes to college is not old. 34 is not old to have a baby either. I think you all should back off and stop telling OP she is old.

Did you fail math?

If her mom had her at 28 and she had her first child at 30 then her mom would be 58 when she became a grandmother. If you’re experiencing early onset dementia and can’t even do simple subtraction and addition anymore you should definitely stop having kids. You’re definitely too old.

[Anonymous]

Go for it. Everyone I know with 3 (myself included) says that with the third they just “sucked it up and did it”. I don’t know anyone who was super thrilled about trying for the third because at that point you know how hard it is! But you want three kids, so you go through the hard part eyes wide open.

And of course everyone who sucked it up and went for it (myself included) can’t imagine life any other way once baby is born (and perhaps especially after the newborn phase).

[Anonymous]

^^ also you’re not too old, that’s ridiculous. I had my third at 37 and I feel like I’m a young mom compared to everyone else in the dc area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Was your mom a teen mom? Being a grandma and not even being 58 is crazy to me. Women today are having kids later. Being 58 when your kid goes to college is not old. 34 is not old to have a baby either. I think you all should back off and stop telling OP she is old.

She said 58 was older than her mom when we she became a grandma. She didn’t share until later that her mom had her at 2& and she was 29 when she had her first child.

Did you fail math?

If her mom had her at 28 and she had her first child at 30 then her mom would be 58 when she became a grandmother. If you’re experiencing early onset dementia and can’t even do simple subtraction and addition anymore you should definitely stop having kids. You’re definitely too old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

I agree. I still don't think you should proceed with DH's vasectomy since you are on the fence about it, but I personally would stop at the two given your age (I say this as someone who is 41 with three kids and is tired!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you are a little too old. We have three and the my husband got a vasectomy because we definitely did not want 4. Also, we have 3+ years between #2 and #3. You still have a newborn and you are 40. I would stop there

OP is not old. Plenty of moms are having another child at her age. I’ve known some moms who had their first child at 39. Also, she has an infant, not a newborn.

She will be 58+ by the time the third goes to college and that is older than my mom was when she became a grandma. That is what I think about. I had my third at 34 and honestly I felt like I was pushing it. But of course we all have different plans. If she were considering the first or the second, I would not suggest to stop because being a mom and giving your child a sibling outweigh in my opinion the negatives of being an older parent. For a third, however, it just seems unfair to the third baby

Everyone is different. I didn’t ask an input on my age and whether you think I’m too old. I was not ready for a child at 29. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34, and no way was I having kids with just anyone because of an age limit. I decide to wait until I was married to a man who would be a great partner and father. He is all of that and so much more! It may seem old to you, but many women are having kids older because of careers, fertility issues, meeting partner later in life, etc. I’m glad I waited until I was “ old” because I found a great man who is an amazing father and husband.

Why did you say you were 40 if you did not want get an input on your age? You should not have said you were 40 because while many people won’t agree with it, you are definitely old to have a baby (not wrong to do it... but you are definitely not young nor average)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ also you’re not too old, that’s ridiculous. I had my third at 37 and I feel like I’m a young mom compared to everyone else in the dc area.

lol

You’re not a young mom if you had a geriatric pregnancy.

Get real. You’re embarrassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ also you’re not too old, that’s ridiculous. I had my third at 37 and I feel like I’m a young mom compared to everyone else in the dc area.

lol

You’re not a young mom if you had a geriatric pregnancy.

Get real. You’re embarrassing yourself.

She said she feels like a young mom, not that she is one. Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ also you’re not too old, that’s ridiculous. I had my third at 37 and I feel like I’m a young mom compared to everyone else in the dc area.

lol

You’re not a young mom if you had a geriatric pregnancy.

Get real. You’re embarrassing yourself.

Lots of people have kids at older age. At my kids’ preschool there were parents in their early fifty’s. They looked like they could have been their grandparents honestly. I do feel a little bad for those kids, but mainly because my mom is so important in my children/ lives that I would not want my own grandkids to miss out on that. That said, my kids may never have kids or may have kids in their 40s so I will also be able older grandma and I won’t be in my grandkids’ lives as much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ also you’re not too old, that’s ridiculous. I had my third at 37 and I feel like I’m a young mom compared to everyone else in the dc area.

NP here — glad to hear you are happy with the decision to have a third at 37! I had my two at 30 and 33. Thinking about TTC a third around 36 (I’m 35 now), but am worried it will be harder now that I’m older and already have two kids. But man do I want another baby!

[Anonymous]

DH and I flip flop about the 3rd and are never on the same page at the same time. Currently, he wants a 3rd and I'm done with 2 but I'm sure in a bit that'll change and we will be the opposite. Since we aren't both 100% sure at all times, we've pushed the procedure for at least another year. We won't discuss it until then so we both feel free to bounce back and forth about the third without any pressure or final decision looming. Give yourself a year. Your youngest won't be so small and you may both feel confident in a decision.

[Anonymous]

Three is bad. Triangulation in siblings is bad. It's 2 or 4, never 3.