DH wants a third. I’m not sure.

[Anonymous]

DH and I were considering a third and postponing it. I got pregnant by accident. Literally the only time we took a risk. We agreed not to take the morning after pill and that if it was meant to be it was meant to be. I was 34 when my third was born (35 now). There are about 3/3.5 years between #2 and 3.
Third pregnancy was by far the hardest and having 3 (6 and under) is not easy. I hope things will get better soon because we are at our max right now and have zero time for ourselves.
Things were really nice and easier when we only had a 5 and a 3 year old...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your older child is around age 9-11, and your younger child is how old?

If your oldest is 9-11 already, I would probably say no to a 3rd. Actually I’d say no to a 3rd anyway since you’re not sure about it. Both parents need to be sure to make that big of a decision.

And I am someone who really, really wants a 3rd and my spouse does not but would do it to make me happy. As much as I’d love a 3rd, I realize it’s something I would want my spouse to do just for my benefit...he would have to be on board as well. So we’re sticking with 2.

[Anonymous]

Whoops meant to say it’s not something I would want my spouse to do just for my benefit...he would have to be on board as well. So we’re sticking with 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it if you don’t really want it.

This. Can't believe the people telling you to do it when you are ambivalent. When women write saying they want a third but their husband doesn't, everyone says that both people have to be fully on board. Same goes here.

These women are idiots who want more children to justify themselves staying home. With a high powered career and you not being sure you should absolutely stick with two.

[Anonymous]

Both parents should want it 100%. You don’t. Stick with two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your older child is around age 9-11, and your younger child is how old?

If your oldest is 9-11 already, I would probably say no to a 3rd. Actually I’d say no to a 3rd anyway since you’re not sure about it. Both parents need to be sure to make that big of a decision.

And I am someone who really, really wants a 3rd and my spouse does not but would do it to make me happy. As much as I’d love a 3rd, I realize it’s something I would want my spouse to do just for my benefit...he would have to be on board as well. So we’re sticking with 2.

Why? I would think with one older child it's more like having 2 than 3?

That said, I agree, if you especially aren't on board don't do it. You have to endure pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding that really doesn't involve your DH at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your older child is around age 9-11, and your younger child is how old?

If your oldest is 9-11 already, I would probably say no to a 3rd. Actually I’d say no to a 3rd anyway since you’re not sure about it. Both parents need to be sure to make that big of a decision.

And I am someone who really, really wants a 3rd and my spouse does not but would do it to make me happy. As much as I’d love a 3rd, I realize it’s something I would want my spouse to do just for my benefit...he would have to be on board as well. So we’re sticking with 2.

OP here. Oldest is 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope.

Stick with your gut.

Your body is the one that will take a beating. You won’t recover as quickly as you did when you were younger. Not to mention you will already be juggling your toddler.

The only reason to do this is if you can afford to outsource all the additional work and stay home full-time.

[Anonymous]

Right now my hesitation is money and possibly having a harder time keeping up at work and getting some sort of extra mommy penalty. But if everything works out fine in 5 years will I regret it in hindsight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now my hesitation is money and possibly having a harder time keeping up at work and getting some sort of extra mommy penalty. But if everything works out fine in 5 years will I regret it in hindsight?

I guess for some people things just work out. For others, they don't. It's partially luck. Partially privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now my hesitation is money and possibly having a harder time keeping up at work and getting some sort of extra mommy penalty. But if everything works out fine in 5 years will I regret it in hindsight?

I guess for some people things just work out. For others, they don't. It's partially luck. Partially privilege.

It seems silly to take a risk then when we already have two lovely, happy, healthy children. But DH is obsessed. He puts the crazy in baby crazy.