Filing for divorce, no lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a mistake, OP.

As pp mentioned above, the big thing will be child support. There is a formula to follow -- with a child, it will be 28% of the higher earner's spouse minus 58% of the lower earning spouse's income, and it will be due until the child is 18 or finishes high school (and in some states it is higher). You will need to file several affidavits attesting to certain things (you're of age, you're of sound mind, you're not in the military [unless you are, in which case the filing gets a little more complicated].) As pp notes above, you will need a witness.


Another thing to consider: You may come up with all kinds of things your MSA that are not enforceable in court. And in 5 or 6 years, you won't be the same people you are now and you or your spouse may want different things. My girlfriend's ex, for example, decided this week to sue her for full custody of their 13 year old (they have been separated for 10 years and divorced for 7). Why? Because he wants to move into a new house and doesn't want to pay child support anymore. He'll probably lose, but it's still going to be a nasty and expensive fight. I realize you're sitting there going, "oh, we would never do that." And maybe you won't. BUT, maybe you will.

Nearly everyone in this process says something like I don't want to involve lawyers. But they know the law -- you don't. And there is a lot of misunderstandings out there. For example, you need to ensure an equitable division of assets including any home, retirement assets, pensions, etc.

Nice try dummy, that's the formula for pedente lite support as set forth in VA Code § 16.1-278.17:1.(C). Reason #5,555,555 not to take legal advice from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/circuit/sites/circuit/files/assets/documents/pdf/pro-se-divorce-procedures-brochure.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a mistake, OP.

As pp mentioned above, the big thing will be child support. There is a formula to follow -- with a child, it will be 28% of the higher earner's spouse minus 58% of the lower earning spouse's income, and it will be due until the child is 18 or finishes high school (and in some states it is higher). You will need to file several affidavits attesting to certain things (you're of age, you're of sound mind, you're not in the military [unless you are, in which case the filing gets a little more complicated].) As pp notes above, you will need a witness.


Another thing to consider: You may come up with all kinds of things your MSA that are not enforceable in court. And in 5 or 6 years, you won't be the same people you are now and you or your spouse may want different things. My girlfriend's ex, for example, decided this week to sue her for full custody of their 13 year old (they have been separated for 10 years and divorced for 7). Why? Because he wants to move into a new house and doesn't want to pay child support anymore. He'll probably lose, but it's still going to be a nasty and expensive fight. I realize you're sitting there going, "oh, we would never do that." And maybe you won't. BUT, maybe you will.

Nearly everyone in this process says something like I don't want to involve lawyers. But they know the law -- you don't. And there is a lot of misunderstandings out there. For example, you need to ensure an equitable division of assets including any home, retirement assets, pensions, etc.

This is good advice OP. It really depends on how amicable you are with your soon to be ex I guess, but a friend of mine divorced fairly amicably about 5 years ago and now the dad is remarried since last year and suing the mother, my friend, for custody of their 12 yo and 9 yo because he doesn't want to pay child support anymore. You just don't know how things can change in the later years.

Probably a stupid question, but: if the spouse gets full custody of the children isn't he still paying to support them? Are child support payments more than the actual cost of supporting the children?

It's all formulary but if one spouse loses custody to another for whatever reason, the spouse losing custody MIGHT end up paying support to the new custodial parent.

Because it is presumed that both parents have a financial obligation to their children, he formula is basically based on a percentage of each income netted out and adjusted for whoever is paying the children's health insurance. Then it's inputted into who has the children more often. If one parent has primary physical custody and the other parent just has visitation, the other parent is likely to be paying the custodial parent support unless there is a huge income differential and the non-custodial parent earns less. More often, the non-custodial parent is the higher earner, though, since it's often dad. In cases where there is 50/50 support, there's still a proportional distribution from the higher earning parent to the lower-earning one, but the amount is less since the children are with the higher earner an equal amount of time.


The thing is, the courts watch this more closely than spousal support issues because the money is actually owed to the parents. And go into arrears on child support and they will take your driver's license, any professional licenses, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a mistake, OP.

As pp mentioned above, the big thing will be child support. There is a formula to follow -- with a child, it will be 28% of the higher earner's spouse minus 58% of the lower earning spouse's income, and it will be due until the child is 18 or finishes high school (and in some states it is higher). You will need to file several affidavits attesting to certain things (you're of age, you're of sound mind, you're not in the military [unless you are, in which case the filing gets a little more complicated].) As pp notes above, you will need a witness.


Another thing to consider: You may come up with all kinds of things your MSA that are not enforceable in court. And in 5 or 6 years, you won't be the same people you are now and you or your spouse may want different things. My girlfriend's ex, for example, decided this week to sue her for full custody of their 13 year old (they have been separated for 10 years and divorced for 7). Why? Because he wants to move into a new house and doesn't want to pay child support anymore. He'll probably lose, but it's still going to be a nasty and expensive fight. I realize you're sitting there going, "oh, we would never do that." And maybe you won't. BUT, maybe you will.

Nearly everyone in this process says something like I don't want to involve lawyers. But they know the law -- you don't. And there is a lot of misunderstandings out there. For example, you need to ensure an equitable division of assets including any home, retirement assets, pensions, etc.

Nice try dummy, that's the formula for pedente lite support as set forth in VA Code § 16.1-278.17:1.(C). Reason #5,555,555 not to take legal advice from DCUM.

It's also the formula typically used throughout Virginia now, due to standardized adoption of it in Fairfax. So it has nothing to do with "nice try."

[Anonymous]

Here is a pretty good child support calculator that's straightforward and easy to use:

https://www.smithstrong.com/library/child-support-calculator.cfm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a mistake, OP.

As pp mentioned above, the big thing will be child support. There is a formula to follow -- with a child, it will be 28% of the higher earner's spouse minus 58% of the lower earning spouse's income, and it will be due until the child is 18 or finishes high school (and in some states it is higher). You will need to file several affidavits attesting to certain things (you're of age, you're of sound mind, you're not in the military [unless you are, in which case the filing gets a little more complicated].) As pp notes above, you will need a witness.


Another thing to consider: You may come up with all kinds of things your MSA that are not enforceable in court. And in 5 or 6 years, you won't be the same people you are now and you or your spouse may want different things. My girlfriend's ex, for example, decided this week to sue her for full custody of their 13 year old (they have been separated for 10 years and divorced for 7). Why? Because he wants to move into a new house and doesn't want to pay child support anymore. He'll probably lose, but it's still going to be a nasty and expensive fight. I realize you're sitting there going, "oh, we would never do that." And maybe you won't. BUT, maybe you will.

Nearly everyone in this process says something like I don't want to involve lawyers. But they know the law -- you don't. And there is a lot of misunderstandings out there. For example, you need to ensure an equitable division of assets including any home, retirement assets, pensions, etc.

Nice try dummy, that's the formula for pedente lite support as set forth in VA Code § 16.1-278.17:1.(C). Reason #5,555,555 not to take legal advice from DCUM.

It's also the formula typically used throughout Virginia now, due to standardized adoption of it in Fairfax. So it has nothing to do with "nice try."

That's for spousal support, not child support. *facepalm*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a mistake, OP.

As pp mentioned above, the big thing will be child support. There is a formula to follow -- with a child, it will be 28% of the higher earner's spouse minus 58% of the lower earning spouse's income, and it will be due until the child is 18 or finishes high school (and in some states it is higher). You will need to file several affidavits attesting to certain things (you're of age, you're of sound mind, you're not in the military [unless you are, in which case the filing gets a little more complicated].) As pp notes above, you will need a witness.


Another thing to consider: You may come up with all kinds of things your MSA that are not enforceable in court. And in 5 or 6 years, you won't be the same people you are now and you or your spouse may want different things. My girlfriend's ex, for example, decided this week to sue her for full custody of their 13 year old (they have been separated for 10 years and divorced for 7). Why? Because he wants to move into a new house and doesn't want to pay child support anymore. He'll probably lose, but it's still going to be a nasty and expensive fight. I realize you're sitting there going, "oh, we would never do that." And maybe you won't. BUT, maybe you will.

Nearly everyone in this process says something like I don't want to involve lawyers. But they know the law -- you don't. And there is a lot of misunderstandings out there. For example, you need to ensure an equitable division of assets including any home, retirement assets, pensions, etc.

Nice try dummy, that's the formula for pedente lite support as set forth in VA Code § 16.1-278.17:1.(C). Reason #5,555,555 not to take legal advice from DCUM.

It's also the formula typically used throughout Virginia now, due to standardized adoption of it in Fairfax. So it has nothing to do with "nice try."

That's for spousal support, not child support. *facepalm*

My, aren't you pleasant? Imagine a different gesture I'm showing you right now.

[Anonymous]

There’s a group in Bethesda that will help you including providing the forms and maybe one consultation. I don’t know the name because we didn’t use them, but I wish I had.

[Anonymous]

Which court OP? Most have Pro Se packets with the forms you fill out and an explanation of their court procedure

Have an attorney look over before filing or notarizing anything

Just to be informed

Good luck

[Anonymous]

I did all of the paperwork for our divorce in DC. I got one of those NOLA legal guides and filled out the paperwork. DC had a Saturday class you could attend to get an overview on the process. I only signed up because they had a handful of lawyers who would look over your paperwork for you. I paid $80 and we were divorced without issue.