Helping my hopeless parents plan for retirement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you give them the rents property?? That was a huge mistake. You should have kept it and then used thebincome to help support them!! Wtf. Sounds like you’ve made bad decisions too.

Well, we weren't really presented with a choice. My father was the executor and we were all in our early/mid 20s and living out of state and he told us we would get it when they die. Only years later,when the extent of their financial problems became known, did we understand that that was never going to happen... This was around the time all the problems first started coming to light and I bought my Suze Orman book. It was a property they used at the time and we weren't exactly going to take them to court over it. But my sisters and I have privately said that if they try to sell it to do something stupid, we will intervene. Again, we no longer expect to see a penny of that money ever again, which is fine, but we don't want to be footing their care bills either. We have all turned out to be fairly responsible adults, in part bc of how they are, but we are by no means rich and are focused on saving for our own kids college etc

Wow. So he stole your inheritance from you. You all need to be very clear with your parents that that was it. There is no help coming when they become destitute.

This. That property could have really helped you and your sisters when you started out. I do understand not wanting to take your parents to court over it but
the reality was it was your inheritance.

I'd stay out of the situation. My inlaws were this way. Sometimes there is no upside to getting involved.

[Anonymous]

Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

[Anonymous]

Just reread the second post from Op. The rental property is worth 900K and they are having a hard time coming up with the property taxes, which isn't that surprising. I would imagine that the taxes on a 900K rental property are not cheap. That doesn't even touch the fact that the property needs to be maintained, too.

They need to sell that rental property. When they sell it they will have plenty of money left to fund their retirement. If they invest that money wisely, they can live off the interest and still have plenty of money to leave to their kids.

What they can't do is barely make ends meet and maintain this expensive property. They will need a financial advisor to help them invest that money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

Wrong.

An honest father has no say in someone else's will in which his children are beneficiaries. An honest father can offer advice and management help, but he NEVER tells his children to sign over the property to him.

Do you habitually have trouble with right and wrong, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

Wrong.

An honest father has no say in someone else's will in which his children are beneficiaries. An honest father can offer advice and management help, but he NEVER tells his children to sign over the property to him.

Do you habitually have trouble with right and wrong, PP?

First off, I do not do underhanded things, especially to my own children. I can, however, see how a group of fledgling adults who had very little home ownership experience could be in over their heads. A 21 year old still in college is not going to be in the position to fork over their fair share of property taxes and home maintenance costs. Since grandpa's intention was that the property be shared among all of the grandchildren, Dad decided to delay giving the property (or the proceeds from the sale of the property) to his kids.

The kids have been very vocal in telling Dad not to sell the property, so he hasn't. Instead, he's held onto the property, it has appreciated and is providing for not only Dad & Moms' retirement but should also provide a healthy nest egg for their adult children. What a blessing that property has been. I hope they all realize what a gift Grandpa gave to his family.

[Anonymous]

^Also pointing out that Mom and Dad have been paying taxes on this property and maintaining it. In exchange, they have been enjoying rental income from the property which is only fair.

[Anonymous]

Why did Grandma skip Mom and Dad and leave the property to the Grandkids? There’s probably some history there. Frankly I’d be addressing the unpaid property taxes, how long Can that go on for? I’d also be suspicious that there is more going on in terms of debts that you don’t know about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

“But honey, don’t you understand? I stole your inheritance for your own good!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

Wrong.

An honest father has no say in someone else's will in which his children are beneficiaries. An honest father can offer advice and management help, but he NEVER tells his children to sign over the property to him.

Do you habitually have trouble with right and wrong, PP?

First off, I do not do underhanded things, especially to my own children. I can, however, see how a group of fledgling adults who had very little home ownership experience could be in over their heads. A 21 year old still in college is not going to be in the position to fork over their fair share of property taxes and home maintenance costs. Since grandpa's intention was that the property be shared among all of the grandchildren, Dad decided to delay giving the property (or the proceeds from the sale of the property) to his kids.

The kids have been very vocal in telling Dad not to sell the property, so he hasn't. Instead, he's held onto the property, it has appreciated and is providing for not only Dad & Moms' retirement but should also provide a healthy nest egg for their adult children. What a blessing that property has been. I hope they all realize what a gift Grandpa gave to his family.

Just stop. OP has written that she does not believe she will see any dime of that property because her parents will sell it and eat the profits when they need the money.

Again, you do not understand how wrong you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did Grandma skip Mom and Dad and leave the property to the Grandkids? There’s probably some history there. Frankly I’d be addressing the unpaid property taxes, how long Can that go on for? I’d also be suspicious that there is more going on in terms of debts that you don’t know about.

*1. This was done for a reason.

[Anonymous]

You’re not going to be able to change a 70 year old. You’re wasting your time and energy.

The only thing you should do is let them know you have to save for your own retirement / kids / whatever and you absolutely will NOT help them out financially.

Then remove yourself from conversations about finances.

Your parents will absolutely face financial hardship as they will not change. They will be unable to support themselves and will come to YOU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Astounding. They basically stole your inheritance from you. You should be irate. If they needed the rental income, they could have at least kept the property in your name and you could have just given them a monthly check. Your parents are scoundrels.

Who cares at this point if they run through the money? Medicaid nursing home, here they come!

While my parents haven’t stolen from me, they have been financial train wrecks for their entire lives. They’re not getting a dime from me.

My guess is, the Op's dad realized that a bunch of broke 20 somethings would have been in over the heads owning a property like this. Dad probably did his kids a HUGE favor by not turning that property over to them right away.

It's now appreciated, has provided a nice source of income over the years and it is time to sell it.

Wrong.

An honest father has no say in someone else's will in which his children are beneficiaries. An honest father can offer advice and management help, but he NEVER tells his children to sign over the property to him.

Do you habitually have trouble with right and wrong, PP?

First off, I do not do underhanded things, especially to my own children. I can, however, see how a group of fledgling adults who had very little home ownership experience could be in over their heads. A 21 year old still in college is not going to be in the position to fork over their fair share of property taxes and home maintenance costs. Since grandpa's intention was that the property be shared among all of the grandchildren, Dad decided to delay giving the property (or the proceeds from the sale of the property) to his kids.

The kids have been very vocal in telling Dad not to sell the property, so he hasn't. Instead, he's held onto the property, it has appreciated and is providing for not only Dad & Moms' retirement but should also provide a healthy nest egg for their adult children. What a blessing that property has been. I hope they all realize what a gift Grandpa gave to his family.

Just stop. OP has written that she does not believe she will see any dime of that property because her parents will sell it and eat the profits when they need the money.

Again, you do not understand how wrong you are.

We are all just speculating as to what Dad's motives were. Bottom line is it is now his property. He could have sold it at any time with or without his adult children's permission. It is still in the family so I get the impression that maybe Dad really did hope to leave that property to his kids but it has become too expensive for him to maintain and pay the taxes on. He needs to sell it.

Hopefully, if Dad gets some decent investment advice he will have a nice income in his retirement and be able to leave his kids' a nice nest egg. If he blows through the money, instead, then that would be a shame but it's his money. Like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Hi! OP here - wanted to respond before I get totally consumed in the caucus results. So the inheritance story is VERY complicated and the real evildoer is my father's brother (the co-executor) who stole a bunch of money that my father was counting on. So we were happy to sign over the property bc we wanted to help and as 20somethings we were happy to wash our hands of the expenses, taxes, etc. We also at the time had no idea how bad other aspects of their finances were. A lot of it boils down to my dad having expected a large inheritance that didn't end up existing courtesy of his brother who died at 71 without ever having held down a job. Bad financial decisions are in the DNA, it seems!).Anyway! My parents are not scheming or bad people, just... hopeless. I have always assumed they would sell the house and live off the proceeds but I thought it would be best to hold onto the property for as long as possible so they could have a larger nest egg - and maybe be too old to waste the money in dumb ways. I don't want them to end up in a Medicaid nursing home but I know there are worse fates :/. So maybe selling both and renting a small place is the best bet. DCUM always knows whats up!

And the Dave Ramsay advice is great - thanks. That's exactly the kind of Finance for Dummies thing I was looking for.

[Anonymous]

Also the moral of the story for me is not to tell my kids to count on a DIME. If we die and there's money, great. But it will be a surprise.