Would you go to a NYC wedding as a date night?

[Anonymous]

Nah too cold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How badly do you want to go to the wedding?

I have met the groom like twice in my life. I have never met the bride.

However, one of DH's best friends is in the wedding. They used to be roommates and DH would hang out with them. This was over a decade ago before we got married and had kids.

Would you be having date night or would DH be having bro night?

Excellent question. Is best friend married/partnered? Is she coming? Are you guys going to be doing group date stuff? Do you like that sort of thing? Or is he going to want to hang along with his buddy?

When DH and I were first married we went to a "fun wedding" in Boston. His best friend broke up with his girlfriend so I sat at a table by myself for nearly 2 hours while the guys all went off and talked (I didn't know the girlfriend so I didn't get to be in the girlfriend group). This was even before smart phones, so it was kind of boring. But I dealt with it, because the band was great and the wine was better. I would have been super pissed if that had happened on a precious date night after we had kids, though.

It's possible your DH should go alone and you guys plan a special weekend another time.

DH is indifferent about going. The groomsman he is very close with is married with kids. I’m friends with the wife but don’t know the bride at all. I don’t think DH will know that many people at the wedding either. We moved to DC almost a decade ago. I’m honestly surprised we are even invited. We did not invite him to our wedding and the same groomsman was also in our wedding.

[Anonymous]

Who invites random people to their wedding?

[Anonymous]

If DH is indifferent, why would you bother? It sounds like a lot of effort and expense for the wedding of a person you don’t know well at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DH is indifferent, why would you bother? It sounds like a lot of effort and expense for the wedding of a person you don’t know well at all.

I’d only go if you want to dress up all fancy and such. Depending on travel cost + gift, maybe just have a weekend somewhere closer and still ask nanny to stay. If you like NYC and would make more of the trip, would enjoy catching up with the couple that you know, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who invites random people to their wedding?

People that will probably end up divorced

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DH is indifferent, why would you bother? It sounds like a lot of effort and expense for the wedding of a person you don’t know well at all.

THIS

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go to the wedding as a date night. To me, a date activity is where you and your spouse focus on each other. You are truly able to do what you want during that time. If you guys want to eat sushi, you eat sushi. That's harder to do if the wedding is serving chicken.

NYC has a lot to do, and if one of you discovers they want to go to the zoo at Central Park and it conflicts with the wedding, the spouse who wants to go to the zoo will feel resentful. There is nothing immature about this feeling, kids and family life schedule parents relentlessly. It's easy to get in a snit because "All I want to do is see the f**cking monkeys and hold hands with my spouse, but I can't because we have to be sitting in the church waiting to see Jill walk down the aisle in an hour".

I wouldn't use a baby-sitting "card" on attending an event unless it's solely for my husband and I. The reason is that family help has the attitude that "we watched your kids, why didn't you do *that* during your weekend away" and I have to admit they are right. We love and get along with our families, but they are not our servants. They have all made it clear that they will look after the kids, but we'd damn well better enjoy every minute of our time away.

Sitters cost money and in either senario, kids do need to see their parents, and parents need to see their kids.

My husband and I have noticed that too many dates away from the kids upsets them. They do seem to miss us, and one of ours is a middle schooler.

I'm also not keen on other people telling me where I can bring my kids. They don't have to invite my kids, but they shouldn't expect us to be there either. The addage "people treat you how you teach them you want to be treated" is a very apt one. Or, to put it another way, "If you show someone you can and are willing to do something, don't be surprised when they expect it of you".

Going to weddings solo doesn't appeal to either of us, lots of random sex happens at weddings, and while I'm all for supporting a new marriage, my marriage needs care too. Neither my husband or I need to be in an environment alone where emotions, hormones and often alcohol are running high, especially not with me too. My husband is a Boy Scout, which unfortunately isn't enough to prevent a false alligation or misunderstood intentions. I don't need that s***, not for an event I had to miss.

My husband works a lot, and we are unwilling to spend our limited time, especially our even more limited kid free time separate. We have all week to be apart, we don't need or want to do it on the weekends.

Now that I've said all this, if this couple are good friends of yours, and you both truly want to be at the wedding, then go. Get a sitter or a family member to take care of the kids if you want to drink more then you should or sit around telling stories you don't want the kids to hear. All that is fine as far as I'm concerned. Just view it as a wedding weekend with friends, not a date weekend. The date designation will leave one or both of you feeling disappointed.

[Anonymous]

We personally LOVE weddings because they're romantic. Honestly we would crash weddings for date night if we could. You gotta know you.