Reply to Would you go to a NYC wedding as a date night?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Would you go to a NYC wedding as a date night?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]	I wouldn't go to the wedding as a date night. To me, a date activity is where you and your spouse focus on each other.  You are truly able to do what you want during that time.  If you guys want to eat sushi, you eat sushi.  That's harder to do if the wedding is serving chicken.

NYC has a lot to do, and if one of you discovers they want to go to the zoo at Central Park and it conflicts with the wedding, the spouse who wants to go to the zoo will feel resentful.  There is nothing immature about this feeling, kids and family life schedule parents relentlessly.  It's easy to get in a snit because "All I want to do is see the f**cking monkeys and hold hands with my spouse, but I can't because we have to be sitting in the church waiting to see Jill walk down the aisle in an hour".

I wouldn't use a baby-sitting "card" on attending an event unless it's solely for my husband and I.  The reason is that family help has the attitude that "we watched your kids, why didn't you do *that* during your weekend away" and I have to admit they are right.  We love and get along with our families, but they are not our servants.  They have all made it clear that they will look after the kids, but we'd damn well better enjoy every minute of our time away.

Sitters cost money and in either senario, kids do need to see their parents, and parents need to see their kids.

My husband and I have noticed that too many dates away from the kids upsets them. They do seem to miss us, and one of ours is a middle schooler.

I'm also not keen on other people telling me where I can bring my kids.  They don't have to invite my kids, but they shouldn't expect us to be there either.  The addage "people treat you how you teach them you want to be treated" is a very apt one.  Or, to put it another way, "If you show someone you can and are willing to do something, don't be surprised when they expect it of you".

Going to weddings solo doesn't appeal to either of us, lots of random sex happens at weddings, and while I'm all for supporting a new marriage, my marriage needs care too. Neither my husband or I need to be in an environment alone where emotions, hormones and often alcohol are running high, especially not with me too.  My husband is a Boy Scout, which unfortunately isn't enough to prevent a false alligation or misunderstood intentions.  I don't need that s***, not for an event I had to miss.

My husband works a lot, and we are unwilling to spend our limited time, especially our even more limited kid free time separate.  We have all week to be apart, we don't need or want to do it on the weekends.

Now that I've said all this, if this couple are good friends of yours, and you both truly want to be at the wedding, then go.  Get a sitter or a family member to take care of the kids if you want to drink more then you should or sit around telling stories you don't want the kids to hear.  All that is fine as far as I'm concerned.  Just view it as a wedding weekend with friends, not a date weekend.  The date designation will leave one or both of you feeling disappointed.     [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics