Husband wants a divorce...tell me it will be okay!

[Anonymous]

You’ll be ok. Get some legal advice and be kind to yourself.

DH and I split up when DC was about 15 months. She’s now almost 4 and I am in a the best relationship I’ve ever been in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t she close all their joint accounts and credit cards?

I would. I would open my own today and close the others.

THIS. Do it now, OP. He has been planning this for awhile and who knows what he is doing to your joint finances?

This will go over great in court.

[Anonymous]

Abandonment! It’s my understanding that it looks bad legally if someone moves out before agreements have been drawn up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abandonment! It’s my understanding that it looks bad legally if someone moves out before agreements have been drawn up.

No. If he’d up and moved to the other side of the country, took all their money, and refused to have contact with their child or contribute financially, then you might be able to claim abandonment. But simply moving out locally without leaving OP destitute and while maintaining contact with their child is not going to be considered abandonment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t she close all their joint accounts and credit cards?

I would. I would open my own today and close the others.

THIS. Do it now, OP. He has been planning this for awhile and who knows what he is doing to your joint finances?

This will go over great in court.

Court does not care before hand.

Once they go to court depending on Judge and state divorce laws are usually 50/50. Easier to navigate if you know where everything is before hand.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he found another woman.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks everyone. I know in the end, it will all work out. I just feel like I’m in my own personal hell right now. There’s never a right time for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks everyone. I know in the end, it will all work out. I just feel like I’m in my own personal hell right now. There’s never a right time for this.

Read chump lady blog.

He's a d!ck.

He will come back, don't take him back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abandonment! It’s my understanding that it looks bad legally if someone moves out before agreements have been drawn up.

No. If he’d up and moved to the other side of the country, took all their money, and refused to have contact with their child or contribute financially, then you might be able to claim abandonment. But simply moving out locally without leaving OP destitute and while maintaining contact with their child is not going to be considered abandonment.

It doesn’t sound like he has seen the child for days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t she close all their joint accounts and credit cards?

I would. I would open my own today and close the others.

You cannot unilaterally close joint accounts

But you can unilaterally withdraw all the money...

[Anonymous]

OP, there’s someone else in the picture. In addition to legal and financials sorted, see if you can find out about the affair. Although it may not affect the legal outcome, it might help during negotiations (work affair, image maintenance ).

Make sure you go after the best financial deal for yourself and your child. Do not be weak on this time and read Chump Lady.

[Anonymous]

For God's sake, talk to a real lawyer very quickly and do not get your legal advice from DCUM.

I'm sorry, OP. He sounds like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abandonment! It’s my understanding that it looks bad legally if someone moves out before agreements have been drawn up.

No. If he’d up and moved to the other side of the country, took all their money, and refused to have contact with their child or contribute financially, then you might be able to claim abandonment. But simply moving out locally without leaving OP destitute and while maintaining contact with their child is not going to be considered abandonment.

It doesn’t sound like he has seen the child for days.

It’s not abandonment. Take half the money out of the joint accounts and see a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I would add a clause in the custody agreement that so that girlfriends can’t sleep over at his house while he has custody of his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been married for 3 years and we have a two year old. He moved out the day after Christmas. He gave me back the gift I bought him for Christmas and told me that I don’t put any thought into the gifts I get him, he’s no longer in love with me, and he refuses to go into a new year/decade being married to me. I’ve had time to process all of this, but it still hurts like hell. I honestly think there’s another woman because this came out of nowhere. I’m sure I can take care of the mortgage on my own, but I’m worried about other bills as the mortgage is most of one paycheck. Someone tell me everything will be okay!

He moved out so that’s abandonment and you may be able to get primary custody

Very unlikely, at least in DC or Maryland.