Why is she mad at me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

1. Your ex is still running your life to a certain extent, and she doesn’t limit. You’re keeping her form these friends because of how your ex will react, thereby prioritizing her over your girlfriend.

2. You keeping your girlfriend from this family is a sign that you’re not serious about her. If you were serious, considering marriage, etc., this would be a non-issue because your ex would meet her in person at some point. That you don’t see this as a necessary eventuality means you’re not sure you see future with her. That’s a lousy position for her to be in after investing a year in your relationship.

This.

+1.

I agree. Your girlfriend sees that you are not considering her seriously. Please think this through. Is she the one? Are you OK living under your ex’s thumb forever?

Another +1. You need to decide who is the priority- your girlfriend, or your ex.

Also agree that if your friends cause drama, they aren’t your friends.

[Anonymous]

If your daughter is 12, can't she go without you, at least some of the time?

If you "lost" the friendship because your ex is best friends with the woman of the couple, why are you still going over? What's the point of maintaining connection at the level of spending an evening a month together, if the daughter is old enough to visit by herself?

[Anonymous]

Are you saying you want to stay friends with this family despite the tension it's causing? Your daughter is old enough to socialize with her friend without you. Why do you have to be there?

[Anonymous]

Girlfriend is a pain in the neck. She wants to be front and center and in your life and to control blah blah. Do you want that???

[Anonymous]

The wife and ex are best friends, nothing good will come of this gathering with gf lol. It's not about OP prioritizing his ex.

OP, you are absolutely right to avoid anything more than formalities with this family. Girls will be old enough to be friends without parental involvement, soon enough. Your new gf should appreciate that you're aware of situations that will be awkward. If she eventually is the one, she'll be indoctrinated into the second wives club and it's not fun. Ask me how I know. I think it's smart that you're protecting her and she'll hopefully come to appreciate this in the future.

I agree with other posters. It's a bit of a red flag that this an issue for a 41 yo woman. Keep a close eye on this, OP.

I would suggest showing her this post, but don't

[Anonymous]

Your gf clearly doesn’t have a best friend. If she did, she’d clearly understand why the line with this particular family is drawn. That’s like her asking why she can’t visit your daughter’s aunt or grandparents on her mother’s side. You still have a relationship with these people and it’s very healthy for your daughter to know that connection is not lost. Your GF needs to get over it, it’s not like you’re hooking up with your ex. At your ages, she shouldn’t be intimidated because she can’t hang with all of your friends. It’s not like you guys are in your 20s or 30s hanging out at the Central Perk. I’d see her anger as a red flag.

[Anonymous]

If it’ll get reported to your ex, why are you friends with this family?

Does your ex know you’re dating someone?

[Anonymous]

If you can’t include your girlfriend in your friendship with these people, then they aren’t friends and you should just drop your daughter off and go spend time with your girlfriend while she is playing with her friend. After a year of dating, your girlfriend should be welcome and included in all the social activities you participate in.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the insight here. I appreciate it. I’m sure that my GF is my future and I love spending time with her. From some of the responses I get why she might be mad. I really don’t want my ex having any window into my life. She doesn’t know me anymore and always jumps to conclusions. I can probably find a way to make these drop offs for my daughter.

For all the questions- my ex knows I have a GF. My GF has a ton of friends and all of my family and friends like her. My kids know her (as I stated in the original post). The only disagreements we’ve had in the last year are over small things like this. Nothing we fight about, just her telling me it hurts her feelings when...

[Anonymous]

I agree this is friendship best kept separate. It sounds like they really aren’t close friends of yours, but you are friendly and enjoy company now and then when the girls get together. I would keep it at that. I don’t see why your girlfriend cares if you have other friends and family you see as a couple. It is ok for her not to be involved with every personal relationship you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, does your daughter know this person?

Literally in the original post: "She gets along great with my kids."

Reading the entire post would help before asking questions.

[Anonymous]

Keep you GF away from this family. The relationship is about your daughters friendship anyway, not affirming your romantic relationship with Girlfriend. Period.